Are you happy and content, or does life feel bleak?

[Rainbow1901]

I only ask as life seems to be pretty lack lustre at the moment.

We all have our concerns about day to day life - cost of living, the governments' handling of finances, welfare, Iran etc, some of us have illness or family members who are poorly, money worries, no job and a host of other things.

But it did strike me that it has been quite a while since I could say I am really happy. I have my moments of joy and laughter with GCs and family but equally have times where I do feel down and depressed (don't we all?) and the bleakness around me from friends and family seems to mirror this.
Where has lifes' positivity gone? You watch the news and it's all doom and gloom from the current governing party whereas even if people slate the previous governing party there was always a feeling of the good times were there within reach of all of us.

So are you happy and content? Or is it elusive for you too?

Content but a bit bleak. Recovering from a mental health inpatient spell January 2025. Don’t really need to work but not doing much apart from voluntary work and eating through savings to live.

I feel happy and content. Happily married, lovely kids, enjoy my job, plus a generally positive attitude to things. I do watch the news and think "oh no" but it's not something I dwell on.

I was happy when my dh was alive, but not really since.

You mention grandchildren.

I am older ultimately we have more years behind us than ahead, I try not to dwell on this and stuff as much stuff as I can in to my life, health permitting. We run out of first time experiences the older we get and that’s why life can feel a bit flat. Children can find so much joy in simple things because they are new to them. Adults live with routine. Try and find some new stuff, it doesn’t even have to be ridiculously expensive. My friends taught me a new card game last week, DH and I saw a couple of butterflies and looked up the most common British ones, we ate sushi on a canalside picnic, I tried baking something I have never made before, went to a comedy show, made a good build for a character in a game I play.

I am happy. I wonder if you are looking to global events as a reason for your feeling a bit flat and unhappy? What is lacking in your life? It sounds like you don't have any major issues, you've not mentioned poor health etc. Do you have goals and things to look forward to? Things to achieve?

I am at a point in my life with teens still at home so lots going on with them but also more time to pursue my career and hobbies. I have a new garden which is a blank boring canvas and I am currently working on improving that. I also have thoughts about what my life will look like once dc have left and I have plans to travel widely. I have not always felt this way and when I was younger often felt quite bleak, part of that was my financial situation but also moving on from my parents who very much had a victim mentality.

I am of the opinion that if life isn't going the way you want then make a change for the better. Post covid I was very unhappy in my job and our house felt too small to host everyone and other people are so reluctant or useless at hosting that I decided I would enjoy things like Christmas so much
more if I could do it my way. So I've moved jobs with a promotion and now we have been able to afford a larger house which is much nicer to have visiting family and friends. I love going out walking and visiting new places so I do that often and don't spend a lot of time worrying about the news.

Maybe you need to work out what brings you joy and then go out and seek more of it and avoid the things which bring you down.

I'm happy. I'm lucky. I'm on the "have you had a happy life" thread; horrible things happened to me, but I'm still here with my daughter and my dog and a little flat, and right now we're on a lovely holiday at the seaside, and I'm happy.

One thing you can do OP is to stop watching the news. We don’t need to know all the terrible things that are happening around the world right this minute - it just disturbs our peace, and makes us feel helpless because what can we do to change it? It’s a cycle of negative energy.

My elderly mother is obsessed with news - news radio on all day long, watches the 6pm and 9pm news every evening - and she wonders why she is depressed.

I used to feel this sense that in order to be a good empathetic person I had to listen to all the news and be aware of all the suffering of the world. I don't believe that now, for most of human history we didn't have access to anything like that sort of real time information. It does more harm than good to dwell too much on things that you have no influence over. I try to stay informed but no more than that.

I grew up in the Cold War / IRA / AIDS era, but was sheltered from a lot of life with a privileged childhood.

I’m now of an age where all around me is frailty, bereavement, life-changing and life-limiting illnesses, redundancies, conflict, climate change. It’s bleak without doubt.

The thing that really gets to me is how little opportunity I have to do much about anything. Each time we try to do something nice for ourselves, something out of our control upends our plans.

It's interesting to see other peoples feelings about this. I am retired but not actually at retirement age - I was made redundant four years ago and subsequently like many colleagues pushed into collecting employers pension. I looked after GCs while ACs went to work and still do school runs a few days a week.
Not going to work triggered a few issues for me along with family issues plus ongoing cancer treatment for 10 years and I did talking therapy for a few months - which was a great help. DH happily embraced retirement but he's four years older than me whereas I needed to get out and about so did Toddler groups, swimming etc where I was able to meet other GPs for chat and adult conversation. I also found a little job for a few hours a week which gets me meeting and chatting to people. I think I forgot how much work was a social outlet for me and it hit hard when I wasn't seeing people everyday - DH's job was often spent in time alone for him as an engineer and then school site supervisor so retirement is an extension of that and he is used to it.
When not looking after GCs and feeling glum - I literally tell my mself to snap out of it and get on and do something. A recent project has been renovating our bedroom and doing never ending decluttering. Trips to charity shops, the tip, Vinted are all going great guns and when the new wardrobes arrive - more clothes will go. Now that the weather is improving the garden will need some proper attention - till now it's just been cutting back and clearing. We are lazy gardeners and have plants and bushes that return every year and we have a go at growing the odd veg and tomatoes with mixed results.
But underneath it all is the lingering discontent - not quite happiness. This is clear in some peoples replies and I'm happy for those who have found their niche and comfort spot and will endeavour to look up some of the sites and things to follow or read up on which have been mentioned. Sometimes we need others outlook to make us look differently at our own.

I'm generally content but losing my job shortly and with that my lovely colleagues, so will have money worries. I do try to count my blessings though and am lucky to have secure housing, kids who are healthy etc.

I’m not happy, I’m a widow and feel very alone. I have friends but most of them don’t understand what it’s like to lose someone who has been there over 40 years. So to answer the question I’m not happy or content.

I try to find small joys daily, such as walking my dogs in the sunshine early morning and listening to bird song. And I have wonderful grandkids who bring me so much joy, as well as my adult DD's. But I do struggle with DH's health (he's got a cardiac condition that means he's permanently tired but doesn't help himself with diet/exercise at all) - I could be drained like a tap by him if I allowed myself to. So I focus on keeping myself fit, well and healthy instead.

I'm happy and content most of the time.

I'd agree with you that the world itself seems a bit bleak at the moment, but the world isn't my life. I enjoy my job, I enjoy my friends and family, I enjoy that I get to spend my free time mostly doing what I want to do.

I'm lucky in the fact that cost of living etc. hasn't had that much of an effect of my standard of living thus far, and maybe at some point in the future it will. But right now, life is good, all the politics and scary stuff is just stuff, it doesn't really affect life on a day to day basis.

I haven't felt truly happy and content in a long time. My life is just working and worrying about how I'm going to fund my retirement.

It consumes my every waking hour. I'm tired all the time.

I'm 56, single, rent a flat and work two jobs to keep my head above water.

If It wasn't for my lovely mum and two gorgeous dogs, I'd end it all. (And before anyone comes on and says I can't afford my dogs, they were originally my stepfather's but he can no longer look after them, so I now look after them. My stepfather pays for their food etc. To be completely honest, my dogs are the only things that bring me joy 😊

I find happiness in the small things, currently sitting in the conservatory in the sun. Surrounded by jobs I need to get on with, but happily procrastinating for now.

I don't have enough money. I love my current job (HLTA), but when you can't cover the bills anymore it's time to move on. Job hunting is a relentless slog. I've also lost some very close family members in the last year, one who was ready, one who wasn't. That's very, very hard. I avoid too much news, but what I do watch I remind myself that it's beyond my control.

But I've got my health, a lovely DH who makes me tea in the morning, my teen DC are delightful (in the holidays), a hobby that's free and gets me outside and at this precise moment sunshine on my back.

40 years is such a long time.. you must miss them terribly. Thinking of you x

Bless you and thank you. 🙏🏻

I’m 8/10 happy.

If it wasn’t for work being diabolical atm, I’d honestly be about 9.8/10 happy.

I don’t pay attention to news / world events though. I think that really helps.

I'm happy and content. I have a chronic condition which is a bit of a bummer, but there are others worse off and in general my quality of life is pretty ok. I'm retired though ill health, money is just about ok, although we can't afford many luxuries, fortunately we can't be arsed any longer with doing very much.

DH and I bumble along cheerfully at home, happy with the small stuff.

I no longer watch the news. My MH is good and I don't feel the need to bring myself down by watching Trump, Gaza, Ukraine, Farage, or any of the depressing shite that is going on in the world that I cannot influence in any way.

I have chronic health conditions.

when I recently complained about my gp practice I actually got in to see a gp and he sorted my meds, asked about my life and then started doing the are you depressed questionnaire.

(I am severely disabled following an accident and live with my autistic and adhd daughter who is challenging).

but my life is actually much better than it has been for some time. I left my then dh after he was violent towards our daughter and I called the police and we left under police protection that evening,

being homeless in the middle of a lockdown and trying to keep your autistic daughter on track on her access course to get to uni while teaching full time from a wheelchair was - challenging.

my life honestly has only got better from there.