Are you happy and content, or does life feel bleak?

[Rainbow1901]

I only ask as life seems to be pretty lack lustre at the moment.

We all have our concerns about day to day life - cost of living, the governments' handling of finances, welfare, Iran etc, some of us have illness or family members who are poorly, money worries, no job and a host of other things.

But it did strike me that it has been quite a while since I could say I am really happy. I have my moments of joy and laughter with GCs and family but equally have times where I do feel down and depressed (don't we all?) and the bleakness around me from friends and family seems to mirror this.
Where has lifes' positivity gone? You watch the news and it's all doom and gloom from the current governing party whereas even if people slate the previous governing party there was always a feeling of the good times were there within reach of all of us.

So are you happy and content? Or is it elusive for you too?

I feel as you do. I can’t remember the last time I felt really happy. I spend a lot of time listening to others around me who are miserable too. Life seems to have altered beyond all recognition since COVID.

Yep. Cost of living has meant the small things have to be considered all the time now. I fancy a trip to the beach but fuel/parking costs mean I have to reconsider. I’m sure it’s fine for those who have a better income than me but I work full time for nothing but bills. It is so joyless.

Everyone I know is tired and grumpy. Maybe the lighter, warmer days will help a bit.

I feel pretty much OK.
I don't think life is any more "bleak" than it has ever been. People need to step back and take the long view..... when I bought my house, the mortgage rate was 15%, for instance. When I was a child it was IRA bombings, strikes, 3 day weeks and rampant inflation. Our grandparents lived through WWII, bombings and rationing.
Go back further and there were wars, disease, no welfare state etc etc.

So we're probably better off now than we've ever been. But 24 hour news, and social media, exposes us to much more negativity. So stop watching TV news (which is poor quality, anyway) and come off, or curate your social media. Life is what we make it - there's no point in stressing about the external stuff.

I experience moments of joy but I can't say I've been happy for at least a decade, thanks to LOs' fucking dementia dominating every aspect of my life. My current state is "resigned", though I hope that in a few years' time it may look different.

I'm reasonably happy but it's something that I feel like I have to work quite hard at if that makes sense.

I am extremely happy and content 😌

I must admit I am more content now than I have been at any time in my life to date. I put that down solely to being retired and on a good pension.

DW has serious health issues (she needs daily carers), my health is not good, but the absence of work-related stress and having to piss about going to work and travelling to/dealing with clients makes it all so much more bearable.

If I come over a smug, I don't mean to, but you did ask OP.

That’s interesting. I’ve started to follow Ben Fogle on Instagram and he posted something about how to have to create our own happiness. It doesn’t just happen by itself, you have to work at it like a marriage. That has really struck me somehow. It had never really occurred to me that you have to put work in to see the results. It’s hard to do that when you are quite ground down, have health issues, or money troubles .

Yes very happy and grateful for it every day- this has not always been the case which makes me extra grateful

I agree with this, there has always been something hasn't there?

I try not to watch the news as it can affect me negatively and try to surround myself with the positive things from each day.

I feel mostly happy and content, even though life is not exactly as I would like it to be. I am grateful for so much.

There are some things that dampen my spirit - historical family stuff, my knees, heart disease, having to diet, still working in a soul crushing job, and missing out on things I'd like to be doing with family, world politics. But I'm fortunate in life generally and generally happy. I think happiness is more about perspective than it is about things going the right way externally.

I'm not uniformly happy or bleak. I'm prone to low mood so I'm always thinking about what my current state is and whether my fairly average life circumstances can be blamed when I'm down or whether it's my unhelpful brain. I suppose it's a bit of both.
I think a lot of my unease is down to the many things in my body, my environment and the wider world that I can't control and seem to be getting worse.
I avoid news as much as I reasonably can, but it would be strange not to react in some way to the constant reminders that the future is going to be tougher and less comfortable in many ways. Even though we're very lucky to live in the UK relative to many countries, climate change will have huge impacts on so many aspects of life and I feel that anxiety on a visceral level. I also feel sad and angry for all the people suffering through war and oppression. I can't see our economy, wages and job market improving any time soon for many complex reasons.
I'm trying to accept that life is always going to be a bit scary and unpredictable, work on the things I can control to an extent, and appreciate the good things.

A couple of months ago I would have replied negatively. But personally my mood is very linked to the weather and season, so the recent milder and sunny weather somehow makes life feel worth living. I’ve been getting out into the garden to weed the beds and tidy it up which gives a sense of real pleasure and achievement. I can’t wait to get out there again todo some more s the sun is shining.

It’s strange, every Jan- March I feel miserable and can’t face going outside and feel I’m wishing the days away (and no, wrapping up warm to get outside anyway definitely doesn’t help!) but come mid March I start feeling like a completely different person.,

On paper my life isn't perfect. But yes I'd say I'm very happy and content. I find happiness and fun in small things. I laugh every day, mainly as I'm easily amused! I don't take too much notice of what's going on outside my own life. Not to the point of being oblivious to it, but just that I don't dwell on anything negative.

It did take me a long time to get to this point. But I'm very protective of my peace now.

Exactly this. I only feel bleak when I read the media. But then all of that is designed to make you addicted to clicking.

Actually, I'm a pretty optimistic person and so grateful for so much.

I was "down" post-partum but I knew that was down to hormones so was able to disconnect from it. I think being depressed is often due to what your body is up to - so exercise, sleep are vital.

For me it's really investing in coping strategies and little joyful things as my natural state is to be very anxious and negative. I used to see some of these things as almost a bit frivolous and a waste of time but I've now realised that if they help my mood then that makes me a better mum, friend and colleague especially for the harder things you have to do.

I think most people put a lot of value in being busy I'm cynical about that. I see so many people claiming to be "so busy" but, and I know this sounds judgemental, I don't see any great results. I just see normal people with normal lives except with this struggle that doesn't achieve anything. I think you're better off carving out some time to do something that makes you happy, you'll cope with the rest of the shite all the better for it.

I'm also a big believer in having some sort of practical hobby that stops you from doomscrolling so much. Even if you're bad at it anythings better than the endless doomscroll.

Happy and content here as I don’t worry about things I cannot change. I also took early retirement which massively helped.

I am naturally very bubbly and happy. I can be sad if something sad happens. But I feel like a cork pushed under the water just ready to pop up again.

When i feel life bleak, i‘’ll try to travel to enjoy the natural scenery. I might go on a road trip to clear my head, or I might just go for a walk to unwind.

Life is good for me.

Life feels good, but in our family we are currently financially comfortable and are in good health. When those things weren’t the case things felt very bleak.

I plan my happiness. How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones was recommended on MN years ago, and I've been actively using the strategies ever since. So @LazyCatLtd I recommend you start there.

A couple of times I've got into a negative funk at work, so I did a work gratitude journal which turned me around within a couple of weeks.

Also finding joy in small things really helps - the daffodils coming out, beautiful light in the evening, the feel of a shiny conker, spotting various birds on the commute to work. It really does make the shit bearable.

I'm pretty contented tbh. I have a few health niggles which sometimes get me down a bit, and work is too full-on, but other than that, life is good. Not wealthy, but financially ok. Dc doing well (one in uni and one about to go). Good marriage. Hobbies I enjoy. I don't find my state of mind is really affected by stuff in the news. I'm aware, but don't dwell on it. I live in a beautiful rural area, so being surrounded by nature definitely helps keep my spirits up.

I am not utterly bleak but definitely more that end of the spectrum.

I really envy people who are able to seize the joy in everyday moments even in an imperfect vulnerable life. I am so jealous of people who can get into bed and fall into a restful replenishing sleep. I wish I could be able to not keep worrying about what awful thing is coming next in life to deal with.

Somehow me and my kids got through the other side of a few years at the hands of an abusive controlling psychopath. It nearly finished me off but not quite. Not just the abuse but the leaving and the trauma of the fight to keep safe. Recovering from it all is seemingly as hard.

I struggle in the winter.

but this morning I had my morning coffee outside in the sun and the birds were singing and I was looking at my chard seedlings which are doing well and Ivwas happy.