Have you ever asked for Angela?

[Globules]

Just that really.

Wondering if this was/is an effective campaign?

I've thankfully never had to use it but have known it to be used, I'm a police officer. Woman on a first date with a man and was getting really strange vibes from him. Kept putting loads of pressure on her to go home with him, grabbed her wrist and generally just being a prick. She asked for Angela and they were amazing, so chilled out and took her into the back without him seeing. She then disclosed to them that he had also pulled her hair and she was beginning to feel woozy and a bit strange. We were called. He refused to give us his details but on locking him up and getting his fingerprints in custody my heart dropped a bit - He was showing outstanding for a rape some 200 miles up north.

She was fine thankfully and he is awaiting sentence.

The only thing I was wondering is if the scheme will need to refresh itself a bit - it's pretty well known now and a huge safeguarding aspect of it is that no one is really meant to know what it means so no fuss is caused and you're not increasing your risk, but I don't think that's the case anymore and most people know what it means. Not sure it really matters, just something I was musing on.

@RapunzelHadExtensions I agree that it's commonly known now and many men would know exactly what you were saying if you asked for Angela so that is a slight concern. I do think it's a great scheme though, as proven by the case you mention. Fortunately I've never needed to use it.

It's "Ask for Andrea" in the USA apparently. There's a really good book with the same title but it's a hard read!

I've just finished it!!! With the three dead girls. 💔It was brilliant.
Didn't realise it was a different name.

I think it needs refreshing these days. And also the main purpose of it re-explained. As others have said everyone knows what it is now. So a man you are afraid of/trying to get away from will know what you’re doing now.

I also think far too many people think it’s just something to use if they’re getting unwanted attention or a way to get annoying men thrown out of places. I’ve seen a few threads on here in the past with people using it incorrectly. One was a woman in a coffee place or something and a man sat at her table and was chatting her up and being annoying and she wasn’t interested. So she went to the staff and “asked for Angela” and was annoyed that they were confused and didn’t know what it meant so she just left. It was never meant to be used in those situations. She didn’t feel “at risk”. She was happy to just walk out and leave. She didn’t want to be smuggled out a back exit. She just wanted the man to get thrown out. But the best way to do that is to just use actual words. Say that man is bothering me, can anyone remove him? (It’s unlikely they will but asking for Angela isn’t the solution either).

Asking for Angela is meant to be for when the man can hear you and it’s a “secret code” that you need help. If you’re not at risk and the man is far away you can just either leave or just ask for help. You don’t need to use a secret code if you’re just getting annoying unwanted attention.

Never used it but seen it on a poster in the ladies toilets in Wetherspoons , often wondered how often , if ever it was used

This was a discussion on Jeremy vine some time back. Most bar staff said they’d never been asked or just the once.

I think it's a really good idea. One thing that does cross my mind does it need modernising? Ask for Ellie? I think "Angela" sounds a bit I'm not sure exactly what I am trying to say not as natural in this day and age and it might pluck their ears at the wrong time. I know what I'm trying to say 😆

I read that a couple of months ago, highly recommended, but yes difficult in places

I did too, was it an Amazon first reads?, a hard but really good read

Definatly needs refreshing and all staff training on drinks spiking

Thanks for your input all.

I saw it in 3 different bars yesterday and wondered if the campaign had actually made a difference to anyone feeling unsafe.

I’ve heard it used 3 times ( own a pub ), was people meeting dates in all 3 cases and the ladies didn’t feel safe. So works well in my opinion as long as the staff are on it.

What grounds did you actually have for locking him up?

I imagine assault if he’d pulled her hair etc.

The police don’t take people away in cuffs for allegedly pulling someone else’s hair.

Thank fully, I never needed that sort of help, but the campaign only started in 2016 so long after I'd stopped clubbing/drinking.

There was a programme I watched only a few months ago where they tested it out uncover. I think about half the bar staff said 'No, we don't have an Angela working here!', and the other half discreetly took her to a back room to help. They too said there needs to be more staff training about it.

They certainly will if you refuse to give your details and the lady said she felt woozy so chances are she was also spiked.....

It said he was wanted for rape.
Eta I see that was found out after he was locked up.

Which they only discovered after locking him up for pulling someone’s hair.
The whole saga just doesn’t ring true.

I’m sure I saw a bbc extra (after the main news London) item where they tried this out in a few pubs and bars and no one knew what they were on about. It’s a shame as it should be widely known by customers and staff.

Um... We do, and we did, for domestic common assault. And she suspected drink spiking.

Of all the things in my post you're picking at that?

I don't have to prove myself to you 😀

I'm glad schemes like this are in place, lets hope none of us ever have to use it.

Does it count as “domestic” common assault on a first date?

I've always wondered what the "point" of it is as, by spreading awareness of the campaign, you're telling everyone what the secret phrase is and it's thus no longer a secret.

If you can sneak off to the bar, you might as well just be blunt and tell a member of staff "Hey, I'm on a first date and he's frightening me. I need help". If you can't do that (e.g you're sitting at the bar with the bloke) and you're literally saying "can I speak to Angela, please" then you're relying not just on the bar staff to know what it means but their acting skills to come up with an excuse to whip you out the back.

It's a nice idea, but a better one is having bar staff trained in how to help in these situations.

They have it in the men's toilet's as well.