I know this sounds mad but can someone who works in the care sector tell me if carers judge people for not visiting their parents very much? My father has advanced dementia - and I feel really really guilty about not visiting him very often. I'm the only family member who visits him - but every time I do, I find it very difficult. He was an alcoholic - all my life - and he was incredibly emotionally abusive. He was violent to my mother (they've been divorced for over twenty years). None of the carers at his home have ever said anything about me not visiting him very often - and I don't want to tell them, because I want them to think of him as a nice old man! I know this sounds ridiculous - and I am sure they're all far too busy to think about how often I visit anyway. I don't know. I think I feel guilty about not visiting and of course, they're the only people in a position to know!