If you were told you’d die tomorrow, is there anything you would regret?

[TeaAndSymumthy]

This has been plaguing my mind for days.

I had a dream that I was told I only had 24hrs to live, it was quite realistic in the sense that life was exactly how it is now, same age, same home, same point in time.

In said dream, I said to DH on my deathbed, that I love him and the kids and they are my greatest achievement.. however I am absolutely gutted that I spent my life trying to avoid getting in debt, being frugal, not being able to afford anything of any real luxury. We never took the kids abroad, we never took them camping, we’ve never done Lapland or similar because we couldn’t really afford it. I never had a ‘nice’ car that I really loved, we never spent money on the house or the garden to really make it a home. - there was quite a bit 🤣

and I’ve woke up feeling very ‘fuck it’ about life and that we should just be doing things, going places, having experiences and having nice things.. because life really is short and money is a man made concept that’s stopping us living a life we can look back on and say yeah, that was pretty good. At the moment I feel like I’m going to get to the end of my life and say ‘I really wish I’d…”

does anyone else feel like that?! Obviously we can’t just go and get into debt. But I do feel sad about it 🤣

Caring so much about the opinions of others. I've recently started working through that with DH support. It's so self sabatoging to give that much control to other people.

Just dropping this in (Frank Sinatra's)

We played this at my Dads funeral. He's often sing 'I did it my wayyyy' & it was just him!

The other day I heard a teenage boy sing it. His voice has suddenly become quite deep & was lovely, but his voice is in total contrast to the way he's choosing to live his life currently, but it was so poignant. My heart breaks for him as he's so conflicted.. I was just thankful I was sent the recording & could watch it (&cry) in private. He's not my son, but he's a kid I really care about.

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows
I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes, it was my way

that seems like a plan! All the things I can no longer eat/drink because of 'health issues' I might as well enjoy!

mught need more than 24 hours though!!🤣

I’d regret not knowing sooner so that I could put my last weeks to good use ridding the world of nonces in a John Wick style.

But if I could endure my kids and husband knew I loved them that would be enough. I’ve done a lot. No regrets. @TeaAndSymumthy start living. Seriously time is short. This is a warning.

That is true, you cannot rush a single malt. If I start with the most expensive and end up with a blend I will know it was a false alarm. 😂

I’m nearly 52. I want to lead a long and healthy life after my kids have left home and my pets have passed (sorry - I adore them - but still a massive commitment).
I’m a single mum, I’ve always put them first and I really just want to live my fucking life at this point! I’d be gutted if I couldn’t do that.
I know it sounds selfish, but menopause gives me that right 😄

Having had a life limiting diagnosis this week I am pragmatic about what my future holds. Being in my 70’s I’m realistic about life and what will be, will be.
My only regret is that I won’t see my DGCs grow up, I’ve been very fortunate to have them in my life.
I do realise that far too many with cancer are young with small children and that really saddens me x

Oh my goodness that is sad.
My father came from a poor background and was very concerned with building up financial security and having a nice house, nice holidays. He never helped me out financially ever. As kids we had absolutely nothing because all the money went on a mortgage for a bigger house than we needed.
He died at 75 leaving far more money than I thought he had to my mother. My mother has squandered it and been ripped off by unscrupulous advisors. She’s very mean too. So despite me giving her a lot of help and support practically, if I go out for lunch or coffee with her she expects me to pay half .
I don’t have any good memories of either of my parents . I have a very poor relationship with my mother. All they ever thought about was themselves.

I feel the same. We always had a much bigger house than we needed and no money left for anything else. He always had a nice car though, funny that. Needless to say, I’ve made very different choices!

Obviously I’d be incredibly worried about not having purchased my ‘Peace of Mind’ funeral plan in advance! 😂

I'd regret not organising someone to take my cats in the event of my death - and probably spend that last day scrambling to sort that out.

Also so much precious time squandered on awful abusive people.

My biggest regret, whether I was to die tomorrow or not, is having been overweight since I was a child. It has limited my confidence, my relationships, my career, every aspect of my life, in ways you would never understand if it's a problem you've never had.

Living with the constant shame and frustration that I've failed over and over to successfully change it for the long term (I've lost weight and then put it all back on). Knowing how others judge fat people - assuming we are lazy, greedy, stupid, inferior, objects of ridicule. It has stopped me from reaching my potential, from doing so many things I wanted to do. It has made my life small.

I would give anything to live my life again without this physical, psychological and emotional burden. I could have burned so bright, instead of always trying to hide in the shadows, unnoticed.

@Mananna - that’s a sad post, I’m really sorry to hear that. I don’t think others judge you as harshly as you judge yourself, you need to be a bit kinder to yourself imo. Bit if it is such a burden on your mind, could you perhaps look into weight loss injections with your gp? Only because it seems such a drag on your happiness. (I’m sure you are lovey, but so sad to read that you feel it has held you back so much in life).

For me, my only regret is that my darling husband was taken brutally from cancer almost 2 years ago at age 49. Such a fantastic, kind, funny, supportive, clever and lovey man, a Prince among men. It’s so unfair. But of if I were told I would die tomorrow I’d know I’d finally be with him again and I look forward to that.

😂😂😂

Not sure how long I'll give it before I'll call it a false alarm?! I think I'll just keep enjoining it!?

I'm not actually bothered by 'being dead' I'm just bothered by living in very bad health/dying horribly

I have regrets. Big ones, like I wish I’d had more children. But if it was my final day? I’d feel relieved. I have a nice life with a DS and DW I adore more than anything, but an adulthood of mental health trauma takes its toll. I’d tell them I love them and accept my fate happily.

I'd be too busy celebrating the end of my existence to think about any regrets

Same -mine was 5 years ago and my life now is so happy -I shudder at the waste of life if I’d stayed.

Dont go and get your family in debt, but start spending money that you Can afford, for example to make the home more comfortable. Take your kids camping, somewhere you can afford. I have children and they only have me, (their dad is absent and unreliable)
The only person that is going to plan things for their life is me..

I don't get into debt as that would be putting my children in a bad situation.. but when I can afford to splash out, (after bills are paid) then I do, becos I wont always be here for my children.

I think its good you had this dream. You still have time to start doing things, and better late than never.

I certainly wouldn't regret that I hadn't got in to debt.

I’d regret that I hadn’t sorted my affairs and that would be a faff for DH to deal with. But not much else I don’t think, beyond things I’ll miss in the future. Unless my death was because of something I could have prevented. I’ve always had a ‘life is for living’ due to some tragedies in life, so I think I’d leave good memories.

1. Starting smoking (still can't stop!)
2. First marriage
3. Second marriage
4. 'Best friend' for years
5. Taking poor financial advice, with lasting repercussions.

Still, can't undo what's already done [shrugs philosophically]

I agree, @TeaAndSymumthy, that life is for living not waiting. I think there is a balance to be found between living for today and planning for tomorrow - I didn't do this well. Sounds like you've made an OK job of it 👍

My regrets would be...

1. Not having said thank-you to a teacher who had a lot of time and patience for me during my difficult secondary school years.
2. Not having visited at least one Scottish island. I still wonder about perhaps moving to one, one day!
3. Not having got around to having children. I always wanted to know if I would be a good parent, after having had one good parent and one bad one.
4. Not having made a will. The process for people who die intestate seems to drag on for a long time afterwards! That, and I would worry about what would happen with my pets, although I suspect that my mother would just adopt them all!
5. Possibly not having tidied the house and put the bins out, as I like the house to be immaculate when I have guests (and would prefer that on my death!)
6. Not having everything neatly arranged for my death. I'm a big fan of organisation, and my mother (who would have to sort it out instead) has already had to arrange enough funerals for various relatives.
7. Not having learnt and done everything of interest. There is so much to do in the world, and if I died tomorrow, there would be so little time to do it in! I have often said that I'd hate to die regretting the things that I hadn't got around to doing yet.

I would, however, be relieved that I had thought to pay for my pre-paid funeral plan!

Honestly I'd probably just be regretting films and TV series I was looking forward to that I wouldn't get to see...I'm pretty much as deep as a puddle! 😂

Not having been born a man so I could have avoided all the biological misfortunes of being female.

That I haven’t declutterred and my children would be dealing with the same situation I dealt with when my mum died. Other that than, no. I’ve done my best, and that’s sometimes been rubbish. But I tried. I’d be really sad not to watch my children’s lives pan out though.