Identical or fraternal twins?

[FasterMichelin]

I have to preface this by saying I have identical twins, so I have some skin in the game as they say. You may find this completely dull.

I know this doesn’t really matter for anyone other than the twins themselves, but I’m finding it crazy how many twins identify as “non-identical” (fraternal) when they’re clearly identical. There seems to be a long standing misunderstanding about what makes twins identical even amongst doctors and sonographers (who are usually the ones who have the first conversation with the parents when they ask).

The common misconception seems to be that if the babies have a placenta each, they’re not identical, but that just means the egg split early enough in the process for them to grow their own placentas.

I have worked with a set of identical twins (completely identical by sight) who had never had a DNA test and swore blind they weren’t identical because their mum had asked and the doctor confirmed they aren’t, but they clearly were. There’s a saying in the twin mum world that if 90% of people can’t tell your twins apart, there’s a very strong likelihood they’re identical. I’ve seen it a few times now where people don’t seem to wonder why no one can tell their “non-ID” twins apart.

Why does this matter? Well, it’s a huge advantage knowing your twin shares your DNA if you’re ever gravely unwell. And also it’s just interesting (to me anyway!).

I’ve attached a picture of the Olson twins - clearly identical but reports still say they aren’t. It seems so common that people accept the misinformation still.

I find this very interesting, I’m a non identical twin (other is a boy so pretty sure).

I recall being taught in biology it’s about how soon the egg splits, like you say.

That is very interesting. I don’t have twins but find them fascinating.

Why does it bother you?

I have two daughters that everyone thinks are identical twins, but I birthed them separately.

I am a twin- we were told without a DNA test you couldn't definitely say if we were DC or MC twins.

It doesn’t ‘bother’ me, apart from the rationale in put in my OP.

I do find mid-truths annoying though and I find it frustrating that in this age, with the information we have, parents of twins are often still being given the wrong information. And then you have clearly identical twins walking around thinking they aren’t identical. And if you have identical twins, you know the deep bond they have as well as the benefits of sharing DNA.

Mine are di di identical twins. I was actually told during my pregnancy that there is a chance they could be identical.

I had no idea myself until I was told.

My DD’s are 2 years apart, even as young children people asked if they were identical twins (despite being different sizes!) They do look very similar as adults though hair is a different colour due to one dying it

DHs cousins are identical twins. But through various environmental factors growing up (diet exercise etc) they look comoleyely different as adults, to the extent its not even obvious they are twins.

Surely the only time its obvious, unless a DNA test has been done, is for Boy Girl twins?

Maybe the whole “deep bond” view and looking identical meaning people are wont to treat twins identically has something to do with it? By presenting their twins as non-identical a preference is being expressed to reinforce that they’re independent people and don’t need to be treated as though they must have a special bond (not all identical twins do) or as though because they look the same they must be the same and like everything the same?

I find it frustrating that in this age, with the information we have, parents of twins are often still being given the wrong information. And then you have clearly identical twins walking around thinking they aren’t identical.

So you think by looking at someone you can tell they are clearly identical. What a lot of rubbish.

And as for 'deep bond' that is something romanticised by culture.

Lots of twin studies would say it’s not romanticised, but evidenced.

Had the same with my daughters. The scan for my son revealed an absorbed twin.

My friend is a twin and honestly they claimed they were fraternal, both female, but there were many times I couldn't distingush between them.

Sadly friend's twin died at 40. Friend took a whole year to get over the consuming grief. It was so upsetting to witness.

Thank you for this thread @FasterMichelin

My experience is thst the general public don’t really understand at all what identical means.

I have boy/girl fraternal twins. Almost every single time I met someone new they would ask me their names and then ask if they were identical. It was like the “identical?” question didn’t pass through any filters at all.

I do have friends whose children were tested to confirm whether they were identical or not.

Not all identical twins have a “deep bond” btw

I have boy and girl twins and I struggle not to make a judgey face when strangers ask if they are identical… it’s happened several times!

You’ve called Mary-Kate and Ashley, 39 yo women, the Olsen twins. Imagine how weird and dehumanising that might be to grown women. Women whose life experience and goals differ, whose lives have ultimately made then non-identical, as time will do to all twins.

If they want to, it harms no one.

It’s really quite difficult to avoid pointing out that the question is idiotic. I used to approach it in a variety of ways, with varying levels of politeness depending on who I was speaking to.

I have identical twins and am in the “community” so know lots. I can assure you the bond is different, whether you feel that’s true or not. Obviously there are going to be outliers as there are with every trend, but on the whole, the bond is completely unique and very strong. That’s from experience, not theory.

I wasn’t meaning to diminish them to twins, but my whole post is about twins so it was kind of relevant?

I have relatives that a twins. They claim they are identical when they clearly aren't 😂 so the opposite to your post

But they are diminished by it. And it may explain why they are done with being defined as that.

My fraternal twins have a very strong bond. They had 7 sets of twins in their year group, more than one of the sets of identical twins couldn't stand each other.

I know lots of identical twins, in my experience the level of bond varies.

I think it's hard even for family to work out how identical twins are. My grandmother was a twin. As a child I thought she and her sister were completely different and was amazed anyone thought they looked in any way alike (I saw them both every day so knew them really well). Both have now been dead for decades and when I was looking at old photos I realised I couldn't immediately tell the difference! Obviously they were much more alike than I realised.

I have fraternal twins (now adults). They are very obviously not identical (different heights, different hair colour, different eye colour) but relatives and friends STILL refer to them as being identical, which absolutely does my head in! I have several friends with girl/boy twins (all stalwarts of our local twins club) and they have all been asked if their twins are identical.

To add that the placenta was scrutinised on the birth of my son and the scar mark observed for the absorbed twin. We were asked if we wanted to bury the placenta but we decided to give it to science.

Having and being is not the same- treating individuals a 'twins' is damaging.

You can not assure anyone anything.

Know lots honestly that is hilarious.

Twins are often a form of fetishism.

Many parents refuse to see them as individuals. Literature, society see them as one. It isn't healthy.