Identical or fraternal twins?

[FasterMichelin]

I have to preface this by saying I have identical twins, so I have some skin in the game as they say. You may find this completely dull.

I know this doesn’t really matter for anyone other than the twins themselves, but I’m finding it crazy how many twins identify as “non-identical” (fraternal) when they’re clearly identical. There seems to be a long standing misunderstanding about what makes twins identical even amongst doctors and sonographers (who are usually the ones who have the first conversation with the parents when they ask).

The common misconception seems to be that if the babies have a placenta each, they’re not identical, but that just means the egg split early enough in the process for them to grow their own placentas.

I have worked with a set of identical twins (completely identical by sight) who had never had a DNA test and swore blind they weren’t identical because their mum had asked and the doctor confirmed they aren’t, but they clearly were. There’s a saying in the twin mum world that if 90% of people can’t tell your twins apart, there’s a very strong likelihood they’re identical. I’ve seen it a few times now where people don’t seem to wonder why no one can tell their “non-ID” twins apart.

Why does this matter? Well, it’s a huge advantage knowing your twin shares your DNA if you’re ever gravely unwell. And also it’s just interesting (to me anyway!).

I’ve attached a picture of the Olson twins - clearly identical but reports still say they aren’t. It seems so common that people accept the misinformation still.

My non identical twins were very very alike as toddlers. Especially if sitting in the pushchair. I know they aren’t identical (and they are now as adults very obviously NOT identical. I don’t think the “deep bond” thing is real at all. I too know lots of twins and think that stems from mother’s interpretation of sibling bonds.

My friend had twins - she insisted they were not identical, as she could see so many differences, but nobody else could tell them apart at all.
When they were toddlers, she had them tested, and yes, they were identical. She was utterly gobsmacked, but nobody else was!

I feel extremely sorry for twins with names that rhyme or sound very similar - Heather and Hilary, Robbie and Ricky etc or whose parents dress them them in identical clothing. And family who send one birthday card, or buy one present as "they're twins".

But identical twins are not identical - from the moment they split they start to change and then life factors continue to influence this. A parent notices the differences and they are as disimilar as normal siblings.

😂 how odd!

Yes that’s very common - I was adamant my twins looked completely different, and my younger child has always been able to tell the difference. Anyone outside the immediate family though…

The misunderstanding doesn't surprise me as I knew someone once with boy/girl twins who swore blind that she was told that boy/girl twins can be identical 😆

You’re literally speaking to the converted. My twins have never been dressed alike. I don’t make a thing of it AT ALL.

That doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge they’re twins or the specialness of it. I also never refer to them as twins except if asked.

But I’m talking about the Olsen twins, sisters, women, people. I used twins on this occasion because my post is about twins. You’re reaching.

This is a common phenomenon, what’s weirder is when you’ve always known who’s who in the moment but looking back at photos is a LOT harder! Goes to show how much body language, speech, personality plays in a person, not just looks.

I’m laughing out loud at the poster who said identical twins are as dissimilar as siblings! As if.

I have twins but B/G and don’t resemble much beyond vague family. I know other sets of B/B and G/G who apparently aren’t identical but to me they definitely look as identical as the officially classed identical twins!

This was me!! We grew up saying "no we're not identical, we just look really alike". We had our own placentas and the Drs told our parents that meant we were fraternal.

At 23 years old we did a DNA test because I felt sure we were identical and wanted to prove it. Sure enough, we are identical. When it came up in conversation with our friends and how much the test had cost one of them said "I could have told you that for half that price".

My mum was gutted about all the times people had asked if we were identical and she'd said no lol. There were definitely plenty of clues though!

I’ve got a friend with twins who each had their own placenta. She uses this fact to insist they’re non-identical, just as you say! They’re nearly teens now and I still can’t tell them apart and neither can anyone outside their immediate family 🤷‍♀️

I had a friend who had fraternal twins. Well they were assumed fraternal because they weren’t that similar. When their adult teeth erupted they both had an anomaly but on the opposite site to the other. It turned out that they were mirror identical twins. As we know our mirror image often looks slightly different to our actual image. Had it not been for their dental anomaly they would always be classified as non identical. They had separate placentas which we now know is not necessarily an indication of fraternal twins but is determined at the point of when the egg divides into two.

This reminded of my friends who are twins, they couldn’t be further looks wise - one blonde one brown - one tall one short - literally one copy of mum and the same with the dad. They though have a close bond - whether that’s twins or bonded life experiences.

Its an odd one, I do have other friends who had identical twins and didn’t believe it until tested - I wouldn’t have known the difference the boys. But oddly it seemed important for the parents that they weren’t identical, they shocked - the rest of us where not!

My friends reply is no - one has a willy

I’m fascinated by twins but not known any apart from 2 identical twins who are now adults.

I always wanted to have twins when I did want kids when younger but never had kids.

Yes, I have twin cousins who I’ve always struggled to tell apart, even though they’re officially ‘non-identical twins’. I just know they must be identical though (because they are). Having a medical background I did try to explain the placenta confusion to them and their mum, but I don’t think they quite believed me 😁

I know right, as a person who likes to find out everything I can, I can’t fathom not taking a DNA test if you’re very similar. “Are you identical” is the first question twins get asked when they’re same sex. The test for my twins was under £100 and involved wiping the inside of their mouths, no blood.

Identical twins have a blood and organ donor on the ready should they ever need it (and the other consents of course). It just seems logical to me to find out, if not just out of curiosity.

To those who say they’re fascinated by identical twins, it really is an interesting journey. My ID twins are so different yet exactly the same (same way of being but different likes/dislikes). They treat the other like a part of themselves, for example, they have NEVER snatched from each other. If one gets something, they’ll always make sure they get enough for both. They don’t always extend that to their younger sibling but they absolutely do to each other. It’s a deep understanding and empathy with each other, a harmony. And the way they make each other laugh. It’s very interesting to watch from the sidelines.

Mine are complete and total opposites. They really couldn't be more different, we call them chalk and cheese. 😂

I also have di do twins, and was told like you there was a chance they could be identical ... But one was born with brown eyes and the other blue so I knew immediately. They are nothing alike! I agree op it's annoying how many myths therecare

Sorry for errors, phones gone weird

My MIL insists my husband and his twin are fraternal because there were two placentas. You have never seen 2 more identical twins 🤣 they get mistaken for each other all the time (we live in a relatively rural small community). They themselves accept they probably are genetically identical but their mum still will not hear anything of the kind as “the doctor” told her they were fraternal when they were born back in the late 1970s!

I had to check my twin hadn't written this, because this is exactly our story, DNA test at same age and everything!

Identical twins. I’m 3 mins older. We hate being called “twinnies” - being born in the late 80’s we’re too old for that but it doesn’t stop some people. It does make us memorable though, and recognisable. We’re in the same online community (a comedy fandom thing) and we can’t really sneak off to gigs of this group quietly because we get spotted by other fans, but the good thing is at meet n greets we get remembered by the group themselves every time even if it’s a couple of years between times!

Had to deal with What’s It Like Being Twins our entire lives. One time at Kings Cross we couldn’t get our bags from the storage for ages because the guy held them back until we answered his questions like we were aliens or something.

The best answer is “Well it’s normal. For us. Tell us, what’s it like being a single? That must be strange. Tell us about that” pause for reply

That makes people either squirm or laugh nervously. And if you refer to us as Twinnies, we will refer to you as The Single.

We find people that people can either tell us apart straight away due to personalities (we’re pretty different in many ways), or it takes ages but they politely don’t say anything, which tbh is fine, just don’t make a big deal of it and don’t patronise us. One chap we know used to get annoyed and offended on our behalves when people didn’t make the effort, which was ace. Especially when one mutual acquaintance actually said “Which one was I talking to? Oh who cares it doesn’t matter!” - he thought it was the rudest thing we’d ever heard and was amazed we shrugged it off.

If anyone on this thread is interested, the Twin Society at St Thomas’ in London is worth joining. It’s completely free, they send you surveys to help with research and you can go visit them (yet to do that). We did our free DNA test through the post with them > twinsuk.ac.uk/

Your experience is limited. Many siblings are close, many are not. I had an old work colleague who was non contact with their twin and I taught twins who were beyond incredibly close. Every family is different and it's not up to you to tell people who to behave or think.

The whole medical reason is bollocks too. The vast, vast majority of people will never need a relative to donate body parts to them, twin or not and on that extremely rare situation they can do the relevant tests the same as other siblings.

You're massively overthinking this.

I have twins & always thought that identical were when one egg splits, but fraternal are when two eggs are released.

My are bg twins & it always amused me when people would ask whether they were identical....ummm, no......🤣🤣