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Original poster

What to send a grieving friend?

29 replies

Squashies123 · 31/03/2026 18:20

My friends dad has recently passed away and she lives 3 hours away so I can’t just pop around

I’ve messaged her but want to send her something. I was thinking of sending a Cook meal voucher, but I’m not sure what would be a ‘normal’ amount? Or maybe postbox brownies would be better?

im also not sure how I would phrase the message in the card eg this is something to help out when you don’t feel like cooking?

really overthinking this I know but any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:

Siriusmuggle · 31/03/2026 21:34

I got some lovely and much appreciated messages and cards when my dad died. One friend sent a lovely little flower arrangement which was pretty but not overwhelming. Another friend sent me a lovely message and a Costa gift card, just so I could have a little bit of time out.

ILoveDaffodills · 31/03/2026 21:45

Squashies123 · 31/03/2026 18:44

thanks all, she doesn’t have any children so it’s just her and her partner, so hoping that £30 would be reasonable.

I always worry with flowers that it might place a burden on the person receiving them as they then have to arrange/water them, although I know that she does love flowers

and very helpful to have suggestions of what message to write!

It doesn't matter so much what you send, just that you're thinking of her & sent something.

when my Dad died we had SO many flowers, it was incredibly thoughtful of people 💕 but the most thoughtful friend was the one that changed the water, got rid of the dead ones & just kept them looking fresh.

neither my mum or I could face food at all. Another friend brought around some finger sandwiches cut into thirds, that were just one mouthful which got us eating again.

my best friend has sent me a few things over the years (now we don't live near each other). It doesn't matter what it is, it's the love it brings that matters💕

pikachu11 · 31/03/2026 22:20

I didn't mind the flowers. Yes, it was overwhelming, but having so many flowers was a good reminder how many people did care. If you send flowers, I'd send them in a box where they are in foam, or with a vase, so one doesn't have to be found. You do run out quickly.

A card or phone call is the best thing though.

Wonderknicks · 31/03/2026 22:26

I was overwhelmed with flowers & was having to borrow vases & keep the damn things alive. The house was like a florists. And as pp said, I had watched DH die & now had to watch the flowers die. I now send brownies or the like. Someone sent me a peace lily which was nice & is still going strong.
Meals are always helpful.

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