Who should shower first?

[Starstencils]

Person A takes 5 minutes in the shower.

Person B takes 20 minutes. They need to use mobility aids, a shower seat etc and cannot move quickly.

The water comes from a tank so there isn’t an endless supply. Person A says they should shower first as they’re quicker and will leave most of the tank water for person B.

Person B says they need to shower first as if they’re sat there for 20 minutes the water may go cold by the end of their shower if A has gone first and they’ll be sat under cold water and not able to move away from it quickly.

Just alternate who has an evening shower and boost the water in between.

i can’t believe anyone is justifying running a shower for 20 minutes. Disability or no disability.

if you have a shower which runs off the mains feed,
why not switch it on now and run it for 20 full minutes. It’s quite a while! You’ll probably find you’ve used pretty much the tank full. Utterly selfish to do that in any household.

if you have an electric shower, why not do the same? Turn it on. Run it non stop for 20 full minutes. Ok, there’s still hot water for the next person - but check your smart meter. Think of the bill you’re running up.

what a fucking wasteful, extravagance. No one needs a shower that long. As has been explained countless times, you can turn off the water while soaping and shampooing. Thats what countless people do whether disabled or not. Water on to rinse your body at beginning and end. I can only imagine the minority of people defending a 20 minute shower don’t give a shit about wasting resources and aren’t paying the bills.

We don’t have to use the same shower most of the time as we don’t life together so it’s not an everyday issue.

For those that want to know, I’m person A and yes I did shower first. Person B hasn’t showered yet.

I think a. Can b turn the shower on/off independently?

I don’t take twenty minutes in the shower or five minutes, but I do run it constantly as otherwise I get very cold.

But you’re telling people how to shower?

They should just shower at different times. We're a family of 5 with one shower, we'd never be on time for work/school if we were all showering in the morning.

I am person B. I’d let A go first and see if there any coping mechanisms or aids I hadn’t thought about to speed me up. I’d also install an electric shower to avoid the issue long term (if possible).

I tend to run a shallow bath and just take my time though. I can’t fall over if already sat down 🤣.

In what world would person B possibly be correct in this situation?

You need better heating in your bathroom.

Could person B turn the shower off for part of the time they're in there e.g. when putting shampoo on or shower gel) so that they use less water?

Also, this might be controversial knowing other threads on MN, but does everyone need to have a shower every day?

Whose house is it?

@Changename12 or I can just keep doing what works 🤷

But they obviously don’t see that as an option. I certainly wouldn’t go to work without a shower and I wouldn’t expect anyone else to if they prefer a morning shower

Of course you can but you must be cold when you step out of the shower. I love a warm bathroom

You’re assuming I don’t understand being disabled or what it’s like day in day out. Opinions don’t always come from people who are so far up their own arses, sometimes they come from people who have experience. Just because it’s a different opinion to yours it doesn’t mean your right or know better

Anybody with special needs should go first. In my book anyway!

We have this exact scenario at home, my husband, 5 mins, usually goes first. Cos its means he can go to bed rather than having to wait for me to shower for 20-30 mins before he can have his shower.

I was at this level of disability for 9 months with no guarantee of improvement. Complex injury, neuro vascular damage, non Union of multiple fractures. I’m still mobility impaired and maybe for the rest of my life. Its still not a reason to demand that I get the nice hot shower every day and the others get the cold remainder.
Having an injury or disability is tough and it’s been a difficult adjustment but doesn’t mean that my needs come before everyone else’s
Its not being magnanimous- it’s just sensible and fair

Put the hot water on for longer in the morning so it continues to refresh as people wash?

I move out of the bathroom and dry and dress as quickly as I can manage. We have towel radiators in all three upstairs bathrooms, I don’t think they are every going to heat the space sadly!

Alternate days?