Too tired to do bedtime chores, how do you motivate yourself?

[NotDarkGothicMama]

Currently on the sofa, very tired but CBA to do all of the following so I can go to bed:

• Load the dishwasher
• Feed the cats
• Scoop litter trays
• Put the bins out for tomorrow
• Lock front and back doors
• Put washing into the dryer
• Bring dry washing currently in the dryer upstairs, fold and put away
• Brush my teeth
• Do shoulder exercises prescribed by the physio

DH just decides he's tired and takes himself off to bed. I'd sleep on the sofa to avoid having to do any of it, but the cats would decide to eat me instead.

Some good suggestions on here, which I will adopt, particularly time limiting it.

I follow the advice from a man on YouTube who cleans up hoarders' houses and other mammoth deep cleaning tasks. When doing his own cleaning he doesn’t have the “I've got to do this or that” mindset but tells himself that he gets to wake up to clean kitchen, tidy sitting room, folded laundry, or whatever.
I find that helps me.

But your DH is taking the piss and a drag on you, if he doesn’t pull his weight.

Don’t leave everything until the last minute, and don’t overthink it, worrying that you put tumble drying on overnight with the number of fires and recalls.

We have cheap electricity between midnight-5am so it makes sense to have high-consumption products running overnight. Our tumble dryer is only a year old and I religiously clean the filters and de-fluff the bits I can access between cycles.

Surely neither of you sits down or goes to bed until everything is done? That's our rule. Would only be 10 mins in total if you and DH split that list. One of us does bedtime, one does chores so we can both relax as soon as toddler is asleep.

I do things straight after tea if I can. Dishwasher loaded as soon as we’ve finished.
I like to do jobs in the morning as I’ve got more energy then. I might put a load of washing on, then put it on the drier. The bin will be emptied in the morning if full. I try to put clothes away a bit at a time.

I have an audio book.
Mostly I have the radio on in the evening, but once I’ve told teen DS that the kitchen is closed and I’m doing jobs, I put my headphones in and get on with it.

YES ds does his fair share.

Oh and I don’t have a useless partner doing nothing aside from make me simmer with rage and resentment.

just do the last 2 on your list? The others are non essential and can be divvied up by you and DH I would imagine?

I pretend I’m my own housekeeper and I have to do these things to a high standard and in a timely fashion in order to keep my job and not upset my ‘employer.’ I am very weird!

In the morning DH just takes himself out of the door to work and I end up feeding the cats etc then so now I've taken to just going to bed and letting him do the evening cat malarkey. Sometimes he even says, "Do the cats need feeding?" like it's optional and I might say, "Ah no, let's not bother tonight." 🙈 If he moans, I tell him I'm happy to swap and he can do the morning instead and he huffs a bit but he knows I'm right and there's no way he'll be faffing about with cats in the morning.

This. I have adhd and I’m pregnant so once I sit down that’s it. I’m not moving for love nor money.

I do all my jobs before I sit down. Occasionally I will be in too much pain so will do the dishwasher in the morning but generally it’s done. The organised mum method app is great for a quick 15 min clean

Why do all that right before bedtime? Spread it through the day, you'll have less to do at bedtime, do your exercises whenever you feel like it. We feed the cat at 6 every evening, we usually have our dinner then too so one of us is bound to be in the kitchen. We lock the door when the last person comes in, whoever shuts the curtains will check it. We load the dishwasher as we go so all you need to do before going to bed is press the start button. We don't use clumping litter so doesn't require scooping, you just pour it all into the bin every couple of days and take the bag straight out, my husband puts the wheelie bins out when he gets home from work the night before bin day. Dry washing will go upstairs with my husband but i will usually put it away in the morning. Washing and tumble-drying is cheaper at night so its best to do that before bedtime.

@ToadRage surely you don’t leave the poos in there for a couple of days though? Cat poo stinks!

The litter we use neutralises the odour, it doesn't smell too bad.

Nah, I usually just say "f*ck it" and go to bed. There's always the morning. Chill. Life's too short.

I sometimes leave unloading or loading the dishwasher to the morning and do it while the kettle boils.

locking doors, feeding cats seem like the important ones

Oh yes. I hear you - the transition from sofa to bed always feels insurmountable, even when there’s not unfinished chores hanging over you.

We have the cheaper overnight electricity too, and DH always wants to have dishwasher/tumble-dryer etc running then, but I’m too worried about the fire-risk. Also have ears like a bat and think the noise of them rumbling away and then playing their cheery beeping noise would keep me awake.

Yes as PPs have said, do as much as possible in the morning. Obviously the cats are essential but in every other way possible front-end the day. I think, for many people, as we get older the more evenings are write-offs. I can often barely speak past 7pm let alone do chores. The flip side is I wake at 5 and do most life admin before 8.

don’t sit down! Rubbish but true. Listen to music / podcast / radio. Set a time limit. Focus on the same area first every time.

And talk to your husband about sharing the load.