Too tired to do bedtime chores, how do you motivate yourself?

[NotDarkGothicMama]

Currently on the sofa, very tired but CBA to do all of the following so I can go to bed:

• Load the dishwasher
• Feed the cats
• Scoop litter trays
• Put the bins out for tomorrow
• Lock front and back doors
• Put washing into the dryer
• Bring dry washing currently in the dryer upstairs, fold and put away
• Brush my teeth
• Do shoulder exercises prescribed by the physio

DH just decides he's tired and takes himself off to bed. I'd sleep on the sofa to avoid having to do any of it, but the cats would decide to eat me instead.

This is not helpful to you yesterday but I try to do everything I need to do before I sit down as I know that once I sit down I won’t want to do anything.
So I do the dishwasher, bins, feed the cats and scoop the trays straight after dinner.
Then I get the kids to bed. Then I deal with any laundry stuff, do my exercises, shower and get my pyjamas on, brush teeth.
Then I sit down for an hour before bed.
Doors get locked as soon as we go through them so I don’t need to do that bit before going to bed.

We both do all those things after dinner before we relax. Not fair for one person to be doing it all at bedtime.

Also you have a DH problem here

I think this too. I’m better at doing things for others (used to be but looking after myself more these days)so this helps with self care. I thought I was the only one who thought this way.

Like everyone else, we do the chores before sitting down. DH and I have a general rule of tackling all the jobs between us and if anyone finds themselves chilling whilst the other is still running around, there’s something wrong!!

I find the Advert Olympics are great motivators on a day when my energy levels are low, though you'd need to start earlier in the evening. I got DH involved this week as well, cooking the supper in between a programme we wanted to watch. It can be very effective, and quite amusing.

i wouldnt call them bed time chores
i get in and deal with the washing, the bin, then i walk the dog then i cook

Aw FFS @ChaliceinWonderlandnobody is sayings it’s impossible. She just can’t be bothered which to me is a completely relatable feeling. And she’s not doing it to moan about how hard her life is, she’s just looking for advice. How does a reply telling her you’re a single mum and you don’t find it hard help??

also, I find it odd you’re only asking why her DH doesn’t do the bins? Why is that the only job on that list you’ve chosen to highlight? I’d be asking why he’s not doing half the things but focusing purely on the bins is extremely sexist 🙄
Particularly disappointing from a fellow single mum as we should know more than most that it’s not a “male job”

I suppose it’s like the homework thing I say to the kids, whatever works, either small things first like feeding the cat (actually this should probably be fine first anyway!) or the worst things first like the litter tray.

Can you do the physio stuff and folding washing at a different time like when you get in from work instead of bed time? Or is it the same load? Also ask your dh to help!

Ps another that wonders about the dh doing bins. Anyone can fo buns and men should do washing too!!

I just accept that once I'm down on the sofa for the evening, I'm not getting back up again until I physically go to bed.

So I get all chores done before sitting down. Your DH should be doing half of them too. You can quickly zip through them working together and then you'll both enjoy the evening more together knowing everything is done and you can just relax guilt free.

I do it before I sit down or just before I go upstairs. My biggest motivation is that otherwise I'll have to do it in the morning.

🏆 ✊🏼💦

Another vote for a podcast here. I listen to the archers on R4 daily and put it on as part of my bed time routine. It will give you 13 mins to have a quick whizz round pre bed.

If I’m too tired I only do the essentials. You’re a long time dead who cares.

Once the dishwasher is on and any leftovers put away, counters wiped and floor brushed, I'm off the clock and into my dressing gown!

Laundry. Wash added to over the day and turned on at night. When I get up around 7 I will take down and gold yesterday's and hang up today's while kettle boiling. Each person takes their bundle to room before school. I then enjoy my breakfast with that job done. Dehumidifier switched on laundry mode on way out the door to work and check meat out of freezer and if anything needed on way home later, milk etc. Work bag, phone and lunch by front door.
Come home m, homework, dinner or sometimes two dinners on if energetic (for gollowday or freezing). One of dc empties and refills breakfast things into dishwasher if not done first thing.
Then off the clock after dinner. Hth. A small system of sorts. Lock door on way in so that's not a chore I your head. Do the essentials to some kind of timetable so you stay on top of things. Anything else is extra!

I moaned on MN, did the chores and went straight to sleep.

Don't worry about the cats, they are spoiled to death and I'd never leave them hungry or with dirty litter trays. That doesn't mean I don't wish they'd feed and clean up after themselves sometimes though! Photo added of the spoiled beasties.

Being a good single mum is bloody hard and every woman doing it should be proud of themselves. I've been there and had to give myself a pat on the back now and again because no one else was going to. Using it as a stick to beat other women with isn't very nice though. You're doing great, no need to bring others down.

I'm going to start telling DH to pull his weight as he makes a beeline for the stairs. He isn't usually a lazy bugger but this does irritate me.

All chores done and dishwasher on straight after dinner, bins empied daily after dinner
Its then emptied by DH
Cats fed at 5pm sharp 🙀

Laundry is done on one day only
I cant bear washing hanging about everywhere and unless you have run out of pants its unneccessary to keep manically washing stuff
7.30pm am relaxing on the sofa

I idiotically I jured myself nearly 3 years ago but only booked myself in to see a physio a month ago. Apparently the injury has healed but my shoulder's seized up from me avoiding doing anything that hurt it. The exercises only take 5-10 minutes to be fair but need equipment and to be done twice a day.

so switch it up:

load the dishwasher when you take the dishes into the kitchen, put the pots in at the same time

Lock the front and back doors the last time you use either of them

How long does it take you to take a few things out of a dryer? put them away the next day when you get home

Brushing your teeth is an at least twice a day thing. "too tired" to brush teeth? no

shoulder exercises: do you have to do them multiple times a day? how long per set? do them earlier

your DH ignores it all. So you ignore it all and then when it is out of control you both adult-up and do these very tiny actions earlier and go to bed earlier?

rehome the cats. That's one lot of jobs gone.

I don't leave any chores to do after 8pm as it won't get done.

Like the OP I have to feed the cats and clean out litter trays last thing. But I try to have everything else done. I have to do physio and I would not have the energy to do it late at night so I do it earlier. By 10pm I only have the strength to take my meds and clean my teeth.

Yeah some of those could easily be DH's job every night.

I'd have left the washing, done the exercise in front of the TV. We always do the cats last thing too, but I think of it as saying goodnight to them, which possibly helps a tiny bit.

DW and bins do get done straight after dinner here, but usually by whoever didn't cook, which makes it easier.

Our family saying is do something your future self will thank you for! When i cba, I would prioritise, for me it would be sorting / running the dishwasher and locking doors (no pets here tho!). I often do the, i'll just put 5 things away or set a five minute timer. I'm usually surprised that its mostly done, or inspired to go the extra to get it done.

I am single tho, so don't have to deal with being pissed of about having to do all the jobs whilst the other adult gets to rest...

I do all that's necessary as fast as possible (I literally run/jog where possible). I also do it as early as possible in the evening.

Then leave the rest.