In your child’s class, how many siblings do most children have?

[Allswellthatendswelll]

Based on something I read about how the birth rate crunch is actually a lot to do with smaller families not childfree people:

In your child's class what's the main number of siblings? I totted up for my reception child and it was about 22 kids were one of two, 3 only children and 5 as one of 3. Having two kids seems very much the norm. Obviously it's reception so there could be more siblings later. We are home counties, reasonably affluent.

God you’re really asking now😅 my sons in preschool still and having thought fairly hard about it (embarrassing 😂)
Two have three siblings
Four have two siblings
Nine have one sibling but several have another pending, it can be like a midwives waiting room at the gate some days!
Three have no siblings but, again, one has one pending
There’s a handful of others who I wouldn’t like to say, I don’t know the families well enough
I have two myself, but I don’t think we’re quite done at two.

I suppose at this age it isn’t a very helpful question because it’s not so likely that families will be ‘finished’ if that makes sense?

DD is in Year 6, and out of the 45 in her year, I know there are 6 only children (including DD), two more who might be only children (don’t know the families well enough), and 4 children who are one of 3. The rest (so 33-35 children) have one sibling. The siblings are generally a few years younger, so there’s no one with a baby or toddler age younger child now.

This is a school in a fairly affluent area of a northern city, though the catchment area includes some more deprived areas, and is mainly white British/ white European.

I had DD when I was 38 and couldn’t have a second due to age and health issues; and of the other only children, I know that one mum is the same age as me so could have had similar issues, one mum split up with her DH when her DC was a toddler and hasn’t met anyone else, and one DC was adopted.

Two children does seem to be the norm among my friends and wider family, with three children being unusual and indicating being fairly well-off (in the context of bigger houses, nicer cars, extra-curricular activities, a one holiday abroad - not private school and multiple holidays per year).

One of the mums I met at a baby group went on to have three more children - she is a SAHM and her husband has a well-paying job. She said she did get a few surprised comments about baby number three, and about baby number four. I’m not sure I could have coped with four, but I do envy her.

Vast vast majority of families we know in London have 2 kids (my kids are 7, 5 and one on the way). In both my DCs’ classes there is a small handful of 3 and 1 child families but I don’t know any with more than 3. In my NCT group of 8 (excluding us), 7 have had 2 kids and 1 has had 1, due to infertility. Same with family - all of my siblings and DH’s siblings have had 2.

Most don’t have any siblings in my youngest sons class in my older sons class it’s 1 sibling with one family having 9!

Everyone in my nct group had 2 (8 of us) and I'd be surprised if anyone went for a third as I was the youngest!

Yes to be fair there may be a few of DS classmates who have an older half sibling I don't know about. I think the kids in class thing was more getting a good sample size!

Much of it is American and social media driven, American houses are typically waaaaayyyy bigger than British ones. I’ve seen Americans online saying it’s child abuse/weird not to have your own bedroom meanwhile most of us Brits shared growing up sometimes with more than two siblings in a room half the size they typical American room.

Social media allows us to see the view points of people in different English speaking countries and a lot of people don’t even realise they’re talking to someone in a different country and it becomes the new normal

Sorry I don't understand this comment?

My youngest is 15, when he started reception I know that 25 out of a class of 30 were all siblings (as they were all younger siblings and there was a big hoohaa about siblings getting priority over more local children who had no siblings in the school) Out of the remaining 6 - 2 were twins, 1 was an only child and the others had siblings. 2-3 kids in each family across the class. One had 4.

@Allswellthatendswelll I’m in my 40s, and I know of so many school mums, friends and family members who had babies at 42-44. For that reason, (not that I think about it often) I never assume that anyone is finished having children.

My elder two had a few more only children in thier classes. I should say we live in quite an expensive area - so lots of people had careers first and started having children much later which limits the amount they had. I know some of my friends have said they would have had more if they had started earlier.

That's true, I also know lots of people who've had kids in their 40s.

I don't know the answer for all the kids, but for those that I do it's mostly 1, sometimes none. None that I know of have 2.

I know hardly anyone with 3 kids. Maybe because we're in London so COL is especially high, and many people have moved here so are far from family help.

The families that do have 3 kids - they all have 3 of the same sex, so my guess would be that they had 2 boys/2 girls and thought they'd try for the opposite (but got the same!). They're also loaded!

Two kids is the majority, but there’s a significant number of only children and only two families with 3+ kids.

Yes we were the outliers in our NCT group as all the other couples were 37-40 with DC1 while we were 31. They all went on to have DC2 at 40-42 (except for the one couple whose IVF didn’t succeed). I’m now 39 and pregnant with DC3.

Yes we were pretty similar- I think NCT is self selecting as very middle class as it's expensive. I am 37 so do have time for a third but DH isn't that keen (plus all the other boring reasons).

@Allswellthatendswelll i thought the same at 37 but DH came round. I’m torn between feeling like we’re absolutely crazy and being excited.

What a weird take 🫣
I really want to delete my account sometimes and stop wasting time on Mumsnet

There is also the relentlessness of it. Especially as many women now are doing it with very little outside of their own home support. I have a very good friend who has 4 children, her youngest turned 4 the other month. She said once that she had done 10 years of nappies, broken sleep, job progression on hold, lugging a backpack everywhere and I realised, my oldest is 5 and youngest a baby by the time my youngest gets to 4, I will have done nearly 9 years of all that and no way can I fathom extending it to 11 or 12 years.

Even when they go to day nursery at 1, you still have nappies, toilet training, backpacks, broken sleep, holidays to juggle.

Dc are in Y1. In their class of 29, I can think of 3 only children, 4 families with 3 children, 2 with 4 children and the rest have 2.

2 or 3 is the norm here, with a sprinkling of onlies. I can also think of quite a few families with 4. We're in France though, where the birth rate is also decreasing rapidly but from a significantly higher starting point. 3 is still pretty normal here, much more like when I was a child in the 80s when, as others have pointed out, only children were quite unusual. We have three (aged 3, 11 and 13). At my middle son's rugby club, though, only children are significantly more represented than at school -- I think that's just because it is quite a time commitment, and parents of only children are perhaps more likely to prioritise extra-curricular activities.

I am in the 'too early to tell' camp with a pre-schooler and a toddler, but anecdotally I know a lot of friends who've had their second in the last 18m are sticking at 2. I know 2 families who are sticking at 1. And I know a few mums who are toying with the idea of number 3, but age, finances, and health are the main factors as to why people are on the fence.

We are hoping to go for it to have a third later this year. I am dreading the final set of nursery fees. I have 2 currently in nursery 4 days a week, eligible for the tax-free childcare and the funded hours, and this month's bill was £1957. My eldest will go to primary school in September, hooray, but if we do manage to conceive when we want to, we will still have 2 sets of nursery fees for 9 months before middle child starts school. With price rises etc that will likely be over £2k/month, plus wraparound for number one we're looking at £2.5k/month on childcare alone, never mind mortgage, food, bills etc. We are lucky to be able to afford it, but I can see why not many would be keen for the third (or more).

In my sons class there are 4 only children (he’s one of them)
The majority are 2 kids, I think there is 1 three kids and one has 6 kids !
So, 2 kids

In my son’s primary class I don’t think there were any only children. Most had 1 sibling and a few had 2. One had 5 siblings! Daughter’s class was similar but with one or two only children.

I know quite a few people with 3 children, whereas when I think back to school, most of the people I can think of just had one sibling.