In your child’s class, how many siblings do most children have?

[Allswellthatendswelll]

Based on something I read about how the birth rate crunch is actually a lot to do with smaller families not childfree people:

In your child's class what's the main number of siblings? I totted up for my reception child and it was about 22 kids were one of two, 3 only children and 5 as one of 3. Having two kids seems very much the norm. Obviously it's reception so there could be more siblings later. We are home counties, reasonably affluent.

It’s interesting I’ve noticed a real difference in people who had babies 10-15 years ago (when I had mine) and those having children now. I would say most people I know who had kids same time as me (2010s) had 2-3 (more with 2), but my friends and family who are having kids now are much more likely to have just the one (or if they have having 2, they’re having a much bigger gap, 4-5 years, when the eldest is in school).

Out of 10 grandchildren in my family no one has had 3 children, despite they themselves being one of 3 or 4.

Out of a class of 30, 27 have siblings. There are 3 children with more than 1 sibling.

I know 6 mums (school and outside school) with 3 or more children, 1 has large age gaps (w teens and then 2 under 5s), 1 had DC and then twins, 2 are blended families (1 DC per parent and 2 DC together - again bigish age gaps), the others have about 2 or 3 years between children. One thing almost all of them have in common is lots of family help - 2 sets of very involved grandparents, siblings that live close by, close friends who do pick up/ dropoffs for them.

I know lots of people who would have liked a 3rd but cost (childcare, needing new car, everything been more expensive) and time and lack of help means they haven't gone ahead. Not to mention the state of maternity services. I would love a 3rd, however we have very little help from family (emergency and rare offers of childcare only and my DHs parents have 0 interest in the DC and visit in short 25 minute bursts 1x a month - up from birthdays, Easter and Xmas when my DH spoke to them when MIL made a huge fuss about how the DC prefer my parents). My parents are aging, I would need a C-section again due to previous birth complications, I am very unwell during pregnancy and have high chance of miscarriage. So we are not having a 3rd.

There is also the career toll for many women - many spend years been passed over for promotion or as they are part time pretty much invisible to their employer, by the time you have had 2 mat leaves and returned and passed over, many women want to actually reclaim their career, not spend another 3 years invisible. I'm currently very part time to fit in with school and caring responsibilities. I am looking forward to rejoining the workforce properly after Maternity leave.

Yes I've noticed this in clases I've taught or with friends- that lots of people do end up with 2 in the end, even those who said they were one and done.

This! And just because it happened doesn’t make it right…in my opinion it was abysmal circumstances and i doubt they were that happy tbh. My aunts still talk about how the lack of space, money and privacy had impact on them!

My DCs were born early 2000s. Most kids in their primary classes were in families of 2 children. In DC2’s class, there was one who was the youngest of 6, and two who were in families of 4 kids. I think there was only one child who was an only child. DC1’s class had a family of 4 children and there were also two only children. Both classes had a set of twins. Mainly white middle class area. The bigger families mentioned were all wealthy.

Overwhelmingly 2-child families, onlies the next most common (but a lot fewer). One family with 4+.
Of the families with three kids, there is often a large gap between a first pair and a later one, so they are effectively being raised as a two and a single.

I was talking about this yesterday with my son and he said when he asked children at school they either have no siblings or just one

In my DD’s class, approx 1/3 of families have 2 kids, 1/3 have 3 kids & 1/3 have 4 or 5 kids. She’s in year 6 so I don’t know the composition of families lower down in the school but I do know that overall numbers per yeargroup are dwindling. In the last few years we’ve had a new intake of 10-12 where it used to be 22-25.

I don't think I need to explain this further. It's self explanatory.

No it isn’t self-explanatory, which is why I ask!

I have 3DC, two in primary school. Literally every one of their friends bar two are one of two ie they all have one sibling. Those who’s parents I know well enough have told me that they’re definitely not having any more. I don’t know anyone who has more than one sibling in their friendship groups (that’s about 40 kids I can think of). This makes my Dc one of the largest families in the school although I feel like it’s not that big! Also, all of my family members that have Dc have two and are done. So two in my own personal experience is by far the most common/popular choice.

When you go back far enough kids were sent out to play from a young age to get them out from under their mother's feet. I don't think that you can compare raising 6 kids in a two up two down in the 1950s to the same set up in the 2020s.

Same here. I have an adult child, a teenager, and two in primary school. All same Dad.

I wonder how much the bigger age gaps are down to the cost of childcare - more women with young children are in work now than ever before.

Two in nursery round here would cost you £4-5k a month. Even with free hours it would be ~£3.2k.

Nice and compliant with GDPR then 😳

I assume it is to do with childcare a lot of the time, certainly is the case for my SIL who is now TTC with her eldest starting in September. If we were having children now I think we’d have to space similarly, childcare fees are much higher than when we used it 15 years ago.

Why does it matter? Sorry but you sound like you’re bashing 1 child families. You clearly live in an affluent area where people can afford more than 1.

It doesn't matter. This is on chat. It's a chatty anecdotal thread. Why does everything have to be "bashing something?" How is it "bashing one child families?"

A lot of modern houses are also significantly smaller than older ones.

In the modern 3 bed we used to live in the 3rd bedroom was basically big enough for a (smaller than usual) bed with storage below and shelves above. It simply wouldn't have fit more than 1. The 2nd bedroom was a bit bigger but if you'd put in bunks and enough storage for clothes and toys for 2 that would be the whole room taken up. And anyone wanting to work at home (whether adults wfh or children doing homework) would have to work on the dining table as there physically wasn't room anywhere for a desk. Yes, you could live here with 3 children but it would be extremely cramped and unpleasant to do so, and most people would not choose it. (The people living there before us were moving because they found it too small with 2 children).

For one child, literally not a clue (we moved for year 5 and parental involvement is less .

for my other child (y2) of the class of 30 there are 4 only children, 10 of are 3s and the rest 2s.

I wonder if people are including step/half siblings?

It feels anecdotally that there are a lot more families where there are (say) 2 children, the parents split up and both go on to have more children with new partners; hence ending up with more children between them than they would have done if they'd stayed together.

Haven’t got a clue, I know one of ds friends is one of seven though.

Yes I've noticed this. If we'd managed to start earlier and had a smaller gap then I'd have loved three but as we've had a four year gap I don't think I could face a small one now at almost 40! My parents had 3 with 4 year gaps which was great!

Most are one of two.
a small number of three/four child families
a sprinkling of only children

however my London friends tell me that down there single children are really common because typically both parents work full time (less usual here) and unaffordabilty of family houses

Haven’t a clue and to be fair no one would know the correct number of children I have.

they see me with a baby on pick up. But what they wouldn’t know is I have 3 older children who have never attended the school and attend different schools or are adults