Uh crush 🤦‍♀️

[user1478639495]

I just need to get this out somewhere, been going to the gym for a bit, trying to sort my life out past few months noticed a guy working there, very pleasant on the eye, a lot younger than me, obviously in good shape not in a over done way, in proportion lovely sizeable
arms….nice. Anyway thought nothing more of it then i felt he kept looking in my direction, to the point it kind of annoyed me as it made me feel a little self conscious, I’m a size 14-16 with some quite wobbly places when I try to run 🤣🙈 so there’s no way he could
of been looking at me in a fanciable way. As time went on I started looking, then really noticed his arms and it’s made me go a little weak at the knees. I got used to the idea that he may actually fancy me a little
bit and I felt more confident, this will sound hilarious to most I’m sure but one time he came quite close to me when I was on a machine and honestly I felt like electricity like some kind of vibe or feeling something weird that I’ve not felt before just by being very close proximity to him….one day he’s looking then I turn around in the gym and see behind me other girls who are in epic condition, really
fit (fair play) and got their tummies out in these crop tops (again no jealousy got it flaunt it) and there’s me in a baggy t shirt working my wobbly but off sweating and just gross 🤣 reality hit HARD 🤦‍♀️ I felt like a classic fool a right tool…please do have a laugh at this part 🤣
so I told myself get a grip there’s no way this little hottie is going to look twice at you.
as I’ve been going more he actually is looking over at me, I’ve clocked him a few times, I’ve clocked him in the glass reflection looking….so now I’ve got a bit of a crush which is really annoying in one way as now I’m super self conscious and almost nervous going to the gym and want to look as good as I can without being obvious, I’m like a school
girl, I’m embarrassed at myself but at the same time I’m enjoying it, my life is rather dull and this is the most exciting thing for me currently-how pathetic am I. I guess this is either a crush or limerance 🤷‍♀️

just to clarify I have no intention of acting on this. I am married kids etc this is just fantasy and It’s probably all in my head to a certain point, but when I catch him looking I really do go weak inside. Left this morning and I couldn’t help but look at him then looked to the floor as I did he was looking at me, I so badly wanted to talk to him have a flirt even but I never will. Not even sure why I’m sharing I just need to share this somewhere with someone to get it out!

Blimey you've really got it bad lol.

Someone will be along soon to persuade you it is in fact 'limerence' because that sounds a bit more grown up than 'crush'.

But we all get crushes, so I'd just say enjoy it while it lasts.

It sounds fun and exciting OP. And it sounds like he does fancy you!

HOWEVER.... As you say, nothing can come of it. You're not available. I had a mild crush on someone at work a while ago. I don't think it was reciprocated and there was absolutely no flirting etc but he did brighten up my day. I was aware though that I needed to shut it down, as do you. So I enjoyed the little thrill but I also laughed at myself. I told a female colleague (also a friend) about it, and she laughed at me too. It quickly became a daft little joke between me and her, and it took all of the heat out of the situation

So notice it, enjoy it, but don't fuel it in any way. Absolutely no smiling or flirting or coy little looks. If he does approach you for a chat, tell him that your husband is thinking of signing up to the gym too!

Great advice, @Lottapianos.

Just wondering how you'd feel if your husband wrote this post about having a crush on a female at the gym?

But we all get crushes, so I'd just say enjoy it while it lasts.

It sounds fun and exciting OP. And it sounds like he does fancy you!

Jesus Christ. Can you imagine a man posting on here saying that he fancied a woman in the gym despite being married with children.... As if people would be cheering him on and telling him to enjoy it!!!

Honestly the double standards on this site sometimes.

Our posts crossed but my thoughts exactly. If you read this as though a (married) man had written it about a woman, the replies would be the complete opposite.

But as it's a woman it's fine and we should cheer her on 🙄

Agreed.

Also absolutely nothing the OP has written leads me to believe this man fancies her.

He's probably wondering why she keeps looking at him and asking himself if he knows her.

being size 14-16 with wobbly bits is NO REASON for someone not to fancy you.

Every pot has it’s lid.

OP honestly how would you feel if your DH had written this? I’d be so hurt!

Ahhhh im sympathetic op. I have a massive crush on someone I work with. It will never go anywhere (and I don’t want it to) but he brightens up my day

Agreed agreed. Yuck just yuck.
What is the point of this post?! 🤮

Again?

Put all the energy you're wasting on this into your actual marriage with your actual husband. Concentrate on your real life.

The crush will wear off.

What would you feel like if your husband was drooling and fantasising over some young woman at the gym? That should bring you back to reality.

Another thinking from the guy's pov why does this woman keep looking at me? He could be married or gay.
Double standards on MN again, might seem fun but is it really? Posters on here complain when their men look at other women at the gym even if there is nothing in it.

What are you on about. Catching someone staring at you on numerous occasions is absolutely a sign that they fancy you. Its pretty bloody obvious when it happens. Being married (or a size 14) doesnt automatically stop everyone you meet ever fancying you again. The OP has said she knows she needs to get a grip and would never act on it so there's just no need for people to be nasty to her.

I would try and go at a different time when he's not working. Sadly I don't think any good can come of this crush, either you will spend more time dreaming about a man who isn't your husband, or you will see him talking to other women/his girlfriend etc. and that will make you feel jealous or bad about yourself. He could be looking in your direction because he has tips for your form or wants to sign you up for personal training.
I don't want to burst your bubble. But best to find excitement by doing something fun, scheduling more dates with DH to make your connection closer, things like that. Fancying other people is normal but encouraging it in yourself might be a sign that something in your life or relationship needs attention (might even be you needing more attention from DH!)

I'm not being nasty, I'm being realistic.

Unless you think every young man who looks at you fancies you and there could be no other possible reason?

Maybe he has a squint and isn't looking at you at all!

Ah I knew you'd get some harsh responses op. Obviously you are being very silly but it's human nature.

At my last job there was this new guy in IT support who had golden eyes. I kid you not, I have never seen anything like it before or since, his irises were literally golden yellow. I used to start explaining a problem I was having with the projector or whatever and he'd look at me politely to listen and I got literally dumbfounded, I stopped mid sentence just to gaze at his eyes. This happened more than once until I would actually avoid calling in IT issues or get someone else to do it!

I was in the IT support office one time he wasn't there, and said casually something like "the new guy seems nice, fixed xyz for me" and the whole dept laughed at me because I have no poker face.

FWIW my DH also has unusual colour eyes, a kind of ice-grey-blue. Not golden though, never seen that again

Every pot has it’s lid.
That's a new one for me.

I do agree you shouldn't put so much thought into your weight and whether that affects who fancies you, etc.

Tbh with Beautiful Golden Eyes man, I literally never even considered whether he'd ever fancy me or not. I was just fascinated by his beautiful eyes. Weak at the knees is literally what it feels like.

He’s a personal trainer and looking to monetise your wobbly bits. Ignore.

😬harsh but most likely true

He might be looking at you because you remind him of his mum. Oops, sorry!
Most likely, he's looking at you to get your attention so he can make some money out of your quest to get in shape.
Have you posted about this man at the gym before? It sounds familiar.

There is nothing wrong with having a crush! You can look but obviously don't act on it if you're married.

I have a new builder chap who is doing work on my house. I'm single, 54 and a size 18. But wow, is he fun to look at! He's way younger than me, but I don't see that offering a cup of tea and a biscuit is harming anyone - whilst trying to keep out of the way because my tongue dragging on the floor would trip him up!

Lighthearted, obviously.