So is Botox just no big deal now? Like getting a spray tan?

[Rosacharmosa]

I'm 32 and have been stressing over fine lines and aging recently. I know it's complete 1st world problems and aging is a privilege etc, but I suppose social media and other things have gotten into my head.

I see people on here, and Instagram and even a couple of people at work talk about botox and how amazing it is, so I booked a consultation at a beauty clinic type place that a colleague recommended.

The consultation was yesterday evening and I was surprised at how casual it all seemed. I said I was a bit anxious about it going wrong and looking weird, side effects and things and the woman just seemed baffled that I'd even be thinking about these things. In the end I decided not to book in and said I was feeling apprehensive and would mull it over and she basically seemed to regard me as though I was panicking over a manicure or a spray tan?

So now I'm wondering if I'm just being OTT, it's no big deal and I should just go for it and get rid of an insecurity, or if actually it is a big deal and the world is just going a bit mad?!

Would love to hear thoughts.

If you say that you consider, or do, botox and you spend no time with social (or conventional) media telling you about it, how can that be? You must find out about it from somewhere. I don't even know about it. I don't know what 11s are or hooded eyelids. I actively scroll past all beauty stuff.

I'm not trying to be mean about people individually - we are all doing our best to get on in this crazy world and be accepted by the other chimps and make money through our personal status and attract mates and overall feel ok about ourselves. I get that. But beauty in general is such a rabbit hole. Of course we all do something- I pull random chin hairs out of my face, moisturise my skin and get a pedicure. I wear deodorant and perfume and I shower. Sometimes dye my hair though at the moment not. I guess I feel like my line is a good one, (though I would say that wouldn't I? because it is what I am used to).

But where is the line where we all say stop, enough, this is not us, this isn't the core of us? It must be before injecting chemicals into our faces? It must, actually, be before women spending all their disposable income on little beige tubes of stuff to rub on their faces? Even weight loss jabs are for our metabolism and health and seem to have some brain benefits, it's not an injection to no purpose.

I can see nothing of merit in Botox and only harm - to our personal self esteem, to society, to women.

Feminism isn't just about individuals exercising capitalist choice, it's about questioning whole systems. This part of the system sucks and harms us.

I can see nothing of merit in Botox and only harm - to our personal self esteem, to society, to women.

Saying Botox has ‘nothing of merit’ is pretty dismissive and simplistic. It’s has a positive impact on my self-esteem and that of my many friends and colleagues who have it - it’s not all harm. I am capable of making an informed choice about my own face and body. Women have been enhancing their appearance for centuries - Botox is just the latest version.

No women I know enjoy the ageing process. I don’t look in the mirror and love my 11s, which make me look grouchy and cross. So once every 9 months or so, I spend 10 minutes getting rid of them, and my crow’s feet. That doesn’t make me shallow, it makes me human. If something helps someone feel more confident and attractive, that has value.

Well obviously the line you speak of does not exist although you say it ‘must’.

I dye my hair myself, I do my make up every day, and I get Botox. I don’t get my nails done or spray tan or lashes or anything else. I think my balance is fine 🤷‍♀️ and I’m very unbothered about it. What does bother me are the very regular threads on here where people slag it off while being spectacularly uninformed.

Very often it comes back to ‘those celebrities who look terrible’ as IF Botox isn’t the very least of what they’ve had done.

It’s also the snobbery: a line has been drawn by a lot of these posters where almost any other treatment is fine, but Botox is ridiculous and for the vapid who don’t know that aging is a process that happens to all.

And trust me - I spend a LOT of time on social media for work. But I work in the motorbike industry and my feed is pretty exclusively middle age bike dudes. I don’t follow a single person whose account is beauty-related. But as I don’t live under a rock and Botox has been a thing for two decades, yes I’ve heard of it anyway.

Botox doesn't do that, and it takes time and energy (in the form of money) away from living a free and happy life that isn't spent comparing yourself on social media or feeling not good enough as you are

What a load of old tripe.

I love botox, I have the money to indulge my love of it, and my life is free and happy. I dont compare myself to anyone on social media because I dont even have any social media accounts. I KNOW I am good enough and thats why I get botox, because it's my money and my choice to do what I want with MY body.

You could equally argue that you arguing on Mumsnet with other women about what they choose to do with their own bodies is taking time and attention away from you living a happy free life.

I can think of far more productive things to do with my time than spending it online criticising women for choices they are making about their own bodies. How sad.

But once you start don’t you have to carry on FOREVER? I worry that if I start it, if I ever stopped my facial muscles would be so useless that my whole face would collapse into my neck…..

No you do not have to carry on forever. Where on earth did you get that from 😂

If you want to stop, you just stop. Your muscles go back to how they were before. Your face wont collapse - if that were true there would be thousands of people walking around who looked like stroke victims wouldnt there? dont be silly

I genuinely can't imagine having someone put needles in my face so I can look better. It sounds like a plot from a weird show, not something people actually do.

I would add that I don't know if it's always obvious whether someone's had botox or fillers or whatever, but sometimes it is and when it is I feel very uncomfortable around that person - it's like they're wearing their insecurities all over their face.

Why on earth would anyone want botox at 32? Are you in a profession where looks are important? I'm 50 and don't feel like I need it!

That's ok - I am not comfortable with someone being so judgey either so I would not want to spend any time around you anyway. I prefer people who are kind

I assume your botox or whatever looks totally natural in which case I wouldn't even notice. In the event it doesn't look natural I'd behave like everyone else and pretend it looked good, unless you we were very close friends and you asked my honest opinion. I'm very impressed with a previous poster who said her friends told her she looked 'vaguely evil' after botox. Those are good friends.

IMO it's not very 'kind' to let someone you care about spend a lot of money on something that makes them look bad. If it makes them look great, then there's no need to be 'kind' - you can honestly say they look great.

Who is gonna make you 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Um you’re severely lacking in imagination then given how common it is.

The fact that it's common doesn't make it less weird, it makes it more weird. How have so many women been convinced that they need to be injected with toxins??? We look back at women putting arsenic on their faces and shake our heads. I imagine future generations will feel the same way about botox.

It is a big deal. Something i wouldnt do

Oh I can’t be bothered going round and round on it any more sorry 🤣🤣🤣

You don't have to justify it or convince me of anything. I think it's weird, you don't. On the scale of things, it doesn't matter really.

No, I am not trying to convince anyone of anything. I don’t give that much of a shit really, and I’ve had the same conversation on here loads.

Id rather enjoy my Sunday morning coffee without the debate really.

Enjoy your day ☕️

She already knew. I do this with my adult dc all the time. 🤣

You've just said exactly the same thing I said in different words.

Have a lovely Sunday.

Women are not allowed to age in a patriarchal society because we then become worthless. It’s so sad that a 32 year old is thinking about getting Botox. I hate the obsession with youth, looking younger and looking like a porn star and much prefer the natural look.

Its all nonsense

Do people really think all these celebs look like this with a bit of botox ?
Its all smoke and mirrors
Celebs in particular wear wigs, under the wigs their faces are taped and the pictures heavily filtered.

Botox is anti ageing in the short term but causes flat, saggy look long term as the muscles are paralysed.
Its an industry , like WW and SW designed to keep you stepping up the procedures ladder and parting with your cash.

Women can do what they like with their faces though,that I agree on

I would be the exact same as you. I think it is a big deal and it’s not something I have any desire to have done. I am only 31 and honestly the amount of my friends, similar age and slightly older who have been having Botox for years is crazy to me!

I was asked by someone a year or so ago if I got Botox because my skin was so good / no frown lines etc. I was like what? Like I’m literally 30 years old. 😂😂

its not really a big deal is it .. it’s been around for decades with nothing drastically bad regularly occurring. I was recently speaking to someone who was horrified about me having it (naive to think many other women my age aren’t too) and was saying about the dangers, what dangers? They couldn’t really answer just assumed it was evil

I am in my 50’s and would love to hear more about your skincare and health routine, always looking for good recommendations x