Do boys need less parenting and cost less to raise than girls?

[elliejjtiny]

Can you settle this debate for me because I have all sons so don't have any daughter experience.

My MIL insists that boys need "less parenting" than girls and that they cost less to bring up.

I think that's rubbish and it's about individual personality, if they have disabilities/health problems and how much parents are willing to pay.

We are broke so the dc know that they get clothes from Primark/supermarket/ebay and if they want anything fancier then it's a Christmas/birthday present. Apparently if they were girls I would "have" to buy them designer stuff otherwise they would get body image issues/eating disorders.

My dc have their fair share of problems, autism, self harming etc which apparently would be worse if they were girls. I don't think that's true. I think some issues are more common in boys or in girls but neither sex is particularly easy.

But apparently I am clueless about how hard it is to have girls because I don't have any.

I mean, my brother is 33 and my mum still brings up how much he used to cost her in food as a teenager. She said he was basically a human dustbin and she was not prepared for it after two girls. So I think my mum in particular would disagree.

@BuildbyNumbere it does if you give them a ball and send them out to find the mud. Providing coaching and kit etc is different.
OP time to set some serious boundaries here. She’s not your mother so her son needs to set her right. You won’t be bringing up your child according to sexist tropes. She can butt right out of your parenting.

Do you know many teenage boys?

Girls game and wear football kit too 🙄.

I think statistically boys and young men are more likely to get hurt so in my mind they need more parenting, particularly when they are primary aged. The stupid shit my sons would do when I had my eye off then for a few seconds, it was helicopter parents and yet we still had plenty of A&E visits.

Money wise I think she has a point. Girls activities can be awfully expensive and really stack up. Girls are also expert shoppers from an early age, whereas my boys at least, couldn’t care less. Yes they have some branded stuff but they aren’t particularly bothered by trends.

My sisters and I were definitely cheaper to raise than my three boys are. Our food bill is horrendous.

No I actually think having boys will be worse financially than girls as they will want all the sports branded clothing. Absolute dread for my bank balance

Boys aren’t cheaper when it comes to feeding

Load of rubbish! My friends girl will happily take £50 to primark and get lots of little bits. Her son will ONLY wear Nike socks (so this is about exciting as his Christmas presents get).
It’s completely down to personality!

Only just entering this phase, but don't teenage boys famously have 'hollow legs' and eat about 5 meals a day? I would imagine that that adds up!

Boys grow faster than girls. Trousers are halfway up their shins within a few weeks and I was constantly replacing them until DS stopped growing at 6ft 3. He’d only wear particular designer brands. His feet grew huge too, and trainers in particular cost a fortune and were always being destroyed.

DD was happy with Primark and DePop. She bought her own cosmetics and accessories from her pocket money. She is tiny and still wears size 1-2 shoes so her footwear was much cheaper than DS’s.

DS ate literally 5 times as much as DD, who has always picked like a sparrow. There was no filling DS. He’d polish off a week’s food in two days and still complain that he was hungry.

His hobbies and extra-curriculars cost a lot more than DD’s, and he’d change them often (usually a week or two after I’d forked out for kit!).

His Christmas and birthday presents were consoles, games, bikes and tech. DD was arty so she was happy with clothes, art supplies and cheap stuff.

DD has long hair that was trimmed twice a year. DS has his hair cut monthly. I reckon I could have raised 5 daughters for the cost of my one son!

But all DCs are different. Some are more expensive than others but I don’t think gender determines that.

Is this your MIL’s way of justifying why she neglected your husband growing up?

No and no

Not sure about parenting but my girls do cost more than the boy in terms of clothes and hair accessories

I have 2 boys and 2 girls. Girls have been a lot harder in my experience and more expensive

100% not. I have 3 boys. Oldest has been a breeze, 2nd has more skin and hair products than me and a fashion victim. Previously done 4 different football camps each week which cost a fortune in boots/kits each season. My youngest costs me a fortune every month as he does karting. As for more or less parenting, I think that is child dependent.

A lot of things mentioned on this thread are choices though rather than essentials - my parents would never have paid for me to have highlights or designer clothes.

Old fashioned nonsense. Would only apply if you needed to save a fortune for each daughter’s dowry. Perhaps MIL thinks she’s living in a Bridgerton episode.

When I saw the title I thought true. My daughter was rather defiant, the boys much easier. She was also (still is) a complete dare devil.
Then I read further. I don’t know, but the stuff your mil is saying is just nonsense to me. You send very sensible, trust yourself and try and ignore her tunes!

My MIL would say the same but that is because she poured far more of her time and resources into her daughter and neglected her sons. One son has a lot of mental health issues and the other moved away and rarely bothers with her!

3 girls. Not particularly expensive. I give them clothing allowance and I would have given boys the same.
All have required a high level of involvement and parenting for different reasons, but this is not because they are female.

Research does suggest parents spend more on girls than boys

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/uk-world/312386/girls-cost-30k-more-to-raise-than-boys-according-to-figures/

My observation is that parents - especially mums but also dads tend to favour girls and therefore spend more on them

Shes talking nonsense.

I have a son now in his early 20s and a daughter who is late teens, and would say they have cost roughly the same over the years. My son as a teen was probably more bothered about clothing than my daughter is as a teen now. Not all boys and girls are the same, it sound like your MIL thinks they are which is a terrible way to bring up children.

Both of my children had quite expensive hobbies, the both had driving lessons, car bought, uni costs etc.

As for parenting, they are different people so have needed different parenting and more or less guidance and support at different times. Even at the ages they are now, they still come to us for support and advice. I think the view that boys need less parenting is really harmful. With the whole toxic masculinity thing, boys need good parenting and role models more than ever.

Absolutely not.
DS's school fees were always £5 to £6k pa more than dd's. Both went to similar schools.

DS had sports stuff: cricket (kitting out for cricket is super expensive: helmet, shoes, pads, glives, bag, the sodding bat!), rugby: boots, mouth guard, dental insurance, football; boots. The sports tours were pricier than dd's music tours.

DD had drama and music with instrument and voice coaching. On a par with expenses relating to ds's sport.

I'd say clothes were even stevens.

Both grown up now. We paid for half ds's wedding and expect to pay for half dd's.

Mum of boys here and I would say they cost me more to feed then my nieces cost my sisters.
They don’t tend to have the drama that girls do, constant falling out and girl meanness seems to be a bit of a thing from the age of about 9.
Hobbies depend on the child, one of mine is super sporty so it costs a fair bit for his clothes, equipment etc more than one of my nieces who does one hobby but probably the same as the one who does street dance, gymnastics etc
I find boys easier but then I don’t have daughters to compare them with, but they do seem more easy going then their female cousins but that could just be down to personality.
By the time you add in clothes, barbers every 4-6 weeks, clubs, food consumption and shoes in massive sizes I certainly don’t think they are more cost effective 😂