What do you make of people disabling blue ticks on WhatsApp?

[fnb]

What makes people go into the settings to specifically disable this feature?

I’ve disabled mine too. Sometimes I glance at a message then get distracted and forget to reply for ages. Having it disabled stops DCs reading too much into me not replying immediately when I’ve read the message. I don’t notice if others have it disabled or not

I spiral too sometimes depending on who it is. I don’t find avoidance a good way of dealing with stuff though.

A friend has an appalling mother so she's disabled ticks so she can answer at her own pace.

That’s their issue though, I hate the whole “they left me on read” thing. I look at my messages when I have time and reply when I can - if someone else ascribes a motive to that it’s wholly their problem.

I didn’t even know you could do this!

Would you call it avoidance?? It's given me a much healthier relationship with my phone and messaging people because I'm not constantly checking my phone wondering whether they've opened/read/replied to me

Me too. Like, why does anyone need to know whether I’ve been active online or seen messages. I find it weird that people have any of this turned on! Freaks.

Because my teenagers were annoying and would send lots of follow-ups if I hadn't replied that instant.

For example -
Can you buy me this random thing?
Can you?
Please?
Mum?
Mum?
Can you?
Pretty please?
XYZ has one and it's awesome, so can you get me one?

I couldn't be arsed with it and they didn't nag if they didn't see the tick.

I don't mind the blue ticks. But I have disappearing messages switched on! I don't know why.

I updated my phone and WhatsApp changed. It was automatically switched on and I never turned it off!

I'm sure it says "a lot " about me but it's actually just sheer laziness 🤣

I have almost teenagers and this is very tempting to do!! Thank you!

I rhink it means the opposite

Someone who checks the message is read - anxious

I don’t check

Because I am myself obsessive and paranoid as well as intolerant of other people who are.

But clearly you notice when someone’s ticks don’t go blue 👀

I love you for this answer!

In a message rally it’s very obvious

I have blue ticks and last seen and online off.

I switched it off when someone was being a dick and I didnt want to have anything to do with them or their drama

I didn’t know that you could do that and I don’t know if there’s a way of telling that someone has made this change?

If I’m giving someone information, then I like to see the blue ticks because then I know they’ve got the information. It doesn’t mean that I need a reply. OTOH if someone sends me information then I will usually give a thumbs up, although I recently read that that’s passive aggressive: I do it just so they know that I know.

There is a sort of etiquette to WhatsApp messages, in that they gradually get shorter and shorter, rather like leaving the last biscuit on the plate.

You are most welcome.

When one of them rang me while I was away with friends to ask me to "make Dad give me a lift to school because it's raining" and woke me in my hotel room to do so, I threatened to block their number entirely. He was literally in the room above them and I was 700 miles away.

I didn’t want the pressure to be available all the time and reply. I use my phone for work and social

I have it disabled, I do it to maximise privacy.

Yes, indeed. Also, DCs and DSC all messaging each other when I don’t reply immediately “what’s up with mum/ ghostly she’s not replying to my random non-urgent request?” Followed by phone call from highly anxious DS thinking I’m in a ditch somewhere

Had mine disabled forever. I think most of my friends started doing it ages ago. I don’t need to know if someone’s seen my message, they are free to respond in their own time and if that’s never, it’s for me to reflect on why.

Other people's insecurities and entitled behaviour

Use phone for work. Not helpful if clients can see I’ve read their message as they would expect immediate reply - not always best as I need to find answer etc or expect me to respond at 11pm. xo