When children with SEND, who have violent outbursts, become adults

[wobblychristmastree]

Saw an article online about teachers being injured by children/young people with SEND in schools. My own child is in a (mainstream) class with a pupil who has violent outbursts, is supported by a 1:1 but my child has been injured, as have others. Clearly it’s a failure of the school, although I understand it is difficult to keep 1:1s for them due to have difficult the work is. But it got me thinking, this can’t go on indefinitely. Is the hope that they develop the skills to cope as adults? What becomes of the these when they become adults?

They become men like my younger son. No support, no respite, no group home willing to take him. Attacking me and berating me. Soiling his room. We have bolts on our bedroom doors and emergency procedures in place. Diazapam prescribed to administer as required.

I get through one day at a time., terrified what will happen to him when I die.

My sister is terrified that he will be the reason I die.

Most of them will live independently and some will be a risk to the public

Some will live with support of some kind, not usually in a 'home' but perhaps with family with a care package of some kind, or no care package or in supported accommodation

A few, not many, will be subject to DOLS which might result in physical restriction and restraint but that is not that common.

Many will go on to assault others and be at risk themselves from their peers or wider society. Many will be subject to criminal justice procedures having committed crime.

Sometimes the risk from them reduces in terms of 1-1 violence because the triggers for the violence is that they are children who are being told they cant do something or cant have something, so they lash out. When living independenty, this doesnt apply so it can reduce the risk sometimes.

Theres no one set answer.

People/politicians wanted Care in the Community. The political and social contexgt we are now in is that people should have autonomy and independence rather than 'care' or restrictions. Therefore we live with the risk of that.

I am so sorry. That sounds impossibly difficult 😞

I think if the SEND is not recognised then prison is likely

God that sounds like such a tough life, I am so sorry. Is there absolutely nothing you can do to get help?

is it likely that the risk of violence will continue into adulthood?

and why is it thought that having these children, who clearly need more flexibility and expertise, in a mainstream setting is favourable to being in a specialist setting? The parent I know declined an offer for a specialist school. I can’t understand it.

I used to teach autistic teens.

many of them were violent as younger children (as indeed are many toddlers - toddlers hit, push, bite etc).
with intervention and support a lot of them can be supported to understand their emotions and not be violent.

for some this is not possible.

so some will live in supported living/residentisl home type environment with care workers and generally not go out unless two adults.

others will live at home with mum and dad and have a relatively normal life.

there’s a lot between the two extremes.

Its likely even if they have documented SEN.

A crime is a crime. If you harm others, or animals or cause criminal damage you'll be subject to criminal proceedings. They may or many not involve incarceration but you might get a caution or fine or order.

I would imagine expectations are higher in MS and if the child is at all academic then SS is likely to severely limit their academic path.

I think when the SEN is recognised, that does not prevent these kids growing up to be more likely to be in the mental health system, substance misuse services, probation and prison services,

There is no help out there that meets his needs. Even people supposedly trained to deal with challenging behaviour say they can't meet his needs.

The biggest problem is he would normally go into a group home but no group home would accept him after doing a risk assessment because one of his biggest triggers is other disabled people.

He needs to be the only service user in a house with a minimum of 2 trained people round the clock there but not making noise or interacting with him unless he approaches them first. Can't be a group home, can't be a flat because he has to have very low levels of external noise. Etc etc.

the threshold for a child actually being offered a place in specialist school is so high, for a parent to decline that place, I would think that was a bad decision / denial ?

God,
Im so sorry. That must be so hard for you and for him. 💐

Thats a long discussion. These things are socially and culturally contextual

In years to come I suspect we'll veer back the other way where restriction is more comfortable for people but the trend for extreme individuality is prominent now, which means there is little appetite for residential care or institutions like the old days except in extreme cases and its always viewed and spoken about as dreadful by wider society.

Coincidentally, and conveniently, it also costs society less at face value to have these young people in mainstream school and living at home

I say at face value because the cost to society in terms of parents that cant work, teachers that cant be recruited, harm suffered by adults and other children alike, crime committed, foster carers who cant be recruited, private care homes when crisis hits are sometimes to the tune of £10k a week, tribunals that cost Local Authorities etc etc. All that is not really costed in.

That is truly heart breaking and very difficult to read. Awful that you get no respite or support.

My child was violent as a younger child, then sadly he moved toward hurting himself. But with support and better advocacy skills he hasn’t self harmed or hurt anyone else in a long time. Mainstream was a disaster though. Specialist has been a godsend. He is now able to leave a room that is physically hurting him due to sensory differences. He can articulate things that are worrying him and find solutions with help. He can remove himself and calm himself down safely away from others. He can express distress without hurting himself.
I hate to imagine what would have happened if he’d been forced to stay in mainstream. It’s so wrong that the government are pushing this agenda. It was consistent and skilled teaching and emotion coaching that helped him make progress. Specialist schools are essential.

Prison is actually relatively unlikely because in order to go through the criminal justice system you need to have capacity - that is to understand the difference between right and wrong and to know what you did was wrong.

people are presumed to have it if an adult but on defence against prosecution can be that you did not have capacity for example because you have dementia or severe learning difficulties.

in adults with autism it is more likely that those who are violent have learning difficulties and often (but not alwats) a very low cognitive age. Some have cognitive ages of two or three.

these people don’t go through the criminal justice system, there’s no point they understand it about as well as your average two year old would. So it would usually be a defence of lack of capacity and then the person would be essentially told by the court to go into appropriate mental hospital/residential care with a legal order stopping them leaving.

Im not shocked or surprised at that posters experience

There is no one who wants to do this work and with respect to her son, why would they.

The only thing she can do is make him homeless and force the issue onto the local housing services who will do their best to push it on to social services and back and forth it will go. But the poster probably doesnt want to do that.

I am trying very hard not to be judgemental, as it must be difficult for her, but I don’t understand it at all. He is obviously struggling (as are staff and classmates) but she persists that it’s all the school’s fault and seems not to take any responsibility for the decisions she has made.

Some behaviours may resolve. Don't forget their brains haven't finished developing until late teens/early 20s for boys. Research tends to find that hyperactivity traits in ADHD do lessen with age for example. Some children also just need the right environment. They may not do well in a class of 30 sitting at desks all day but might thrive in a forest school.

Huge numbers of the prison population are ND, its not right to say that usually they dont have capacity. ND doesnt mean you lack capacity. Prison is fairly likely in my working experience.

I think it is ok to be judgemental of a bad decision

Absolutely not. He does not have capacity (legally) and abandoning someone who lacks capacity would be unconscionable imo.

My daughter is in a home for adults with challenging behaviour because she violently attacked me. DH was terrified that one day she might kill me. She has severe LD, and doesn’t understand that injuries can be permanent.