Lying man child

[Throwandcushions]

Anyone else have a DP who tells the most pointless ridiculous lies? Just caught mine out in one when a message flashed up on his phone. He says he doesn’t know why he does it. Can anyone who does it explain why?

What type of message? What was the lie?

Don't marry him. End it now. Raise your standards.

No, I couldn't live like that, it would discombobulate me, I need to know the blunt full truth. FIL is like this, also extremely religious, I avoid him.

What was the message/lie?

Completely pointless. I thought he was playing golf with one group of friends at his golf club. Saw message from another friend on his phone and it turns out he was with another group at a different golf club. Also he lied about what he had eaten for lunch. Sausage roll versus fish and chips. What is the point of these type of lies?

It really doesn‘t matter. It is his character. He is a liar.

Does your partner have any faults?

My ex was like this. It was most odd. He told me in great detail about places he had travelled etc but it turned out he made it all up. When confronted he had no idea why he did it. Couldn't trust a word he said and needless to say he was also a big cheat and big old Mummy's boy.

My experience is it's a needing-to-have-control thing.

Maybe he was trying to impress you with the travel stories, at least that would explain it. Even lying about cheating there is some logic in needing to do that.

I did wonder about that. Maybe it feels like getting one over on me?

Yes my ex was also a compulsive liar about the most pointless shit. A relationship is nothing without trust. Bin him off ASAP.

Does my partner have any faults? What an odd response. You have stated the poor character of your partner and asked for people’s opinions. My opinion is liars lie. Forever. You want to build your life with a liar, go ahead.

I have been in a relationship with a man who was a liar. It is draining and you cannot rely on them. If someone lies when the stakes are low, you cannot assume honesty when the stakes are high. So he will be no support to you. He may give quick answers without thinking just to end the conversation. That doesn't work in a fulfilling relationship. You will be frustrated. And ultimately, his words are meaningless and unreliable.

A habitual liar will make your life stressful, infuriatig. Every statement he makes becomes questionable. Every conversation becomes investigative instead of normal. Trust is gone.

you need to ask yourself after everything he says, can you reply on what he just said? so you become a detective trying to work out whether it is true or not. You constantly doubt him and yourself. And that is so much worse. And it create emotional fatigue.

Surely a liar wasn't on your partner wish list?

No. Why bother?

Why do you even care why he lies?Are you actually planning on educating him? He’s a grown arse man, he knows what he’s doing. Just don’t let him do it to you. Raise your bar.

My DH does something a bit like this, when he's put on the spot. Like he speaks some random sentence to answer a question before his brain kicks in with the actual (true) answer. Maybe it's a neurodivisity thing, dunno, he's certainly on the spectrum, but it's caused us arguments in the past!

He'd say something untrue about something inconsequential, realise it wasn't the truth, but then not know how to get out of the lie without admitting it was a lie. And not wanting to make my angry by admitting to lying, would continue to lie way past the point at which I knew it was a load of cobblers. We both recognised it, we both hate that he does it. We started calling it 'panic lying' and accepted that it was a weird brain malfunction thing he does. So now he can just say after the first lie, "wait, that's not right - sorry panic lie!"

He's not a " man child" : he is a man.

He knows fine well what he is doing.

You will never be able to trust him .

Why would you want to stay in a relationship with someone who is treating you like a fool?

Such people never change so the only question is are you happy to sign up for a lifetime of pointless (and also very probably important) lies?

A lie is a lie.
I couldn't trust it. Especially the pointlessness of it. I imagine hes lied about bigger things, and will continue to lie moving forward.
Its a no from me

There's faults like never replacing the toilet roll and then there's veing a compulsive liar to the point you can never trust what comes out of his mouth.

He has absolutely fuck all respect for you op, this isn't fixable, he doesn't like you let alone love you.

Also he lied about what he had eaten for lunch. Sausage roll versus fish and chips. What is the point of these type of lies?

The only way I can imagine lying about something like this, is if I was so tired of inane "what did you have for lunch"-type questions that I wasn't even thinking about my response and was totally autopiloting the answers.

Regardless, it really doesn't say much for the relationship if what he had for lunch is important enough to you to quiz him about it, and he's indifferent and disengaged enough to just fabricate an answer.

Lying is a major character flaw, it's not like forgetting to put the bin out.

Thanks for your reply, amongst all the rabid LTB cronies

I had a boyfriend back in the day, who did exactly the same thing. He’d tell me he’d been in the black horse with Ben but he’d actually been in the rising sun with Sam. Absolutely pointless lies. It would make sense if he’d actually been out with another girl but no another friend, which I wouldn’t have cared about.
was very young 19 at the time but even then I realised that at some point I would want marriage and children and I’d be setting myself up for a life of utter misery if I stayed with him. I really loved him though and when I made the decision to end it I cried solidly for 3 hours. My poor dad just held me and passed me tissues. But crying it out was cathartic and once I’d stopped crying and took a big breath and never looked back.

Thank you, that’s so kind of you.

My ex was like that.

If his mouth was moving, it was a lie.

The man had serious issues stemming from a childhood of wanting to appease religious periods, and learnt to lie from there.

So, so glad I left him.