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Original poster

How to cope with MIL staying over with dog in small house?

44 replies

Lucy98769 · 13/03/2026 10:26

My MIL is coming to stay next weekend for 2 nights. She stays 4 hours away. We have m a 4 month old baby and a toddler. We only have a 2 bed house so she is sleeping on the couch and bringing her dog.

I’ve told DH that I think space will be tight but he said we can see how it goes. He wants her to stay - fair enough as it’s his mum and his house too. Dog is very needy so everytime she goes to toilet it goes mad. Dog not coming isn’t an option as she takes it everywhere and refuses to use a sitter. She also doesn’t pick up after it in the garden but I’ll be speaking to DH about the as we have two young kids.

She doesn’t want to stay at hotel as she feels she shouldn’t have to, and can’t afford it. We are on mat leave so we can’t afford to pay for a hotel for her.

The main issue is some of the comments she makes. She can be rude and thoughtless towards me and it’s clear her son is her number 1 priority. Anytime I’ve spoke to DH about her he’s been quite defensive.

I need tips on mentally surviving this weekend, handling it with grace and not feeling furious inside when she comes over and says something offensive.

Anyone?

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 13/03/2026 10:28

Why are you allowing people to walk all over you? If she can't leave the dog then she can't come. You've got a newborn FFS. Let me guess, your DH will do nothing while she's around and you'll be left caring for the baby whilst hosting his rude mother?

PinkTonic · 13/03/2026 10:32

There’s literally no way I would have someone staying in my house with a dog or on my sofa so I think you need to be more assertive. You don’t have room for overnight guests and you don’t have to put up with her dog in your house, especially around your children.

theDudesmummy · 13/03/2026 10:35

Her dog, her problem. No, you can't bring Fido, we dont have room and we have a baby. It'll be nice to see you but if you can't find a dog sitter then maybe another time?

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Original poster
Lucy98769 · 13/03/2026 10:36

PinkTonic · 13/03/2026 10:32

There’s literally no way I would have someone staying in my house with a dog or on my sofa so I think you need to be more assertive. You don’t have room for overnight guests and you don’t have to put up with her dog in your house, especially around your children.

True. The issue is DH wants her to stay so when I do raise it, it causes an argument as he thinks I’m over thinking it or making things difficult for no reason. The dog is ‘friendly’ and small but it’s an added level of stress.

OP posts:
TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 13/03/2026 10:36

You've got 2 young children and she doesn't clean up her own dog's shit?
I suggest, if you can't actually get through to your numbskull of an h that this is outrageous behaviour, that you and the children leave for the weekend and refuse to come home until someone has at the very least cleaned up after the dog.

Riverflow6 · 13/03/2026 10:37

No dog.

also I’d be tempted to go out most of the weekend with baby and/or toddler. I have a good mom friend down the road. I would be going to soft play and then lunch and then to friends house and then hopeing to come back just for an hour or two before MIL was leaving. Don’t spend loads of time in your house with her

rainbowstardrops · 13/03/2026 10:37

Has she stayed before, or is this the first time?
I wouldn’t be keen either and I’d be making it perfectly clear to your husband that he is responsible for hosting her and picking up the dog shit etc.

Original poster
Lucy98769 · 13/03/2026 10:39

rainbowstardrops · 13/03/2026 10:37

Has she stayed before, or is this the first time?
I wouldn’t be keen either and I’d be making it perfectly clear to your husband that he is responsible for hosting her and picking up the dog shit etc.

Yes but not when we had 2 kids only one. There’s moments in the day when we get on ok but it’s so draining as her whole focus is on the dogs needs so toddler misses out on her attention.

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 13/03/2026 10:40

There's no way I would let either my mother or DH's mother sleep on the sofa! When they visit, DH and I, being years younger than either of them, sleep on a blow up bed on the floor downstairs and the older generation always have the bed. That's just manners.

MidnightPatrol · 13/03/2026 10:41

Ah anything is manageable for two nights, it’s his mum.

Agreed on making sure the dog is cleaned up after though.

Just make sure you put her to good use eg ask if she can cook the dinners etc.

theDudesmummy · 13/03/2026 10:42

"Dog not coming isn’t an option"

It really is, it's a DOG ffs. So her choice is whether come without dog or stay home. Two options for her. But "Dog coming isn't an option".

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 13/03/2026 10:42

I'd be pointing out the facts to husband. Small space, already a pita having someone on the sofa, but no way can dog be there too with 2 small children.

If they can't compromise by getting asitter/kennelling for the dog then how is that fair in you.

You are not being difficult, the situation itself is difficult and compromise needs to be made.

KnickerlessParsons · 13/03/2026 10:43

Also this Ah anything is manageable for two nights, it’s his mum

Original poster
Lucy98769 · 13/03/2026 10:43

KnickerlessParsons · 13/03/2026 10:40

There's no way I would let either my mother or DH's mother sleep on the sofa! When they visit, DH and I, being years younger than either of them, sleep on a blow up bed on the floor downstairs and the older generation always have the bed. That's just manners.

So I’m still breastfeeding baby so his ‘next to me’ cot is set up in our room attached to our bed upstairs.

OP posts:
AmberSpy · 13/03/2026 10:44

KnickerlessParsons · 13/03/2026 10:40

There's no way I would let either my mother or DH's mother sleep on the sofa! When they visit, DH and I, being years younger than either of them, sleep on a blow up bed on the floor downstairs and the older generation always have the bed. That's just manners.

Good for you but OP is four months postpartum. Not a chance I'd allow a woman who had recently given birth to sleep on a sofa bed just because it would make me a bit more comfortable.

Original poster
Lucy98769 · 13/03/2026 10:45

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 13/03/2026 10:42

I'd be pointing out the facts to husband. Small space, already a pita having someone on the sofa, but no way can dog be there too with 2 small children.

If they can't compromise by getting asitter/kennelling for the dog then how is that fair in you.

You are not being difficult, the situation itself is difficult and compromise needs to be made.

The issue is my DH doesn’t agree as he thinks the dog is fine and not an issue. He likes it! So I don’t have his support on this one. My initial feelings were that best not to have dog in house with baby but she always makes a point of going on about how good her dog is with kids how friendly it is etc.

OP posts:
senua · 13/03/2026 10:45

She also doesn’t pick up after it in the garden but I’ll be speaking to DH about the as we have two young kids.
Don't speak to DH about it, speak to MIL!
If she doesn't clean up then that is your perfect excuse to not invite her in future.

LVhandbagsatdawn · 13/03/2026 10:45

The dog is manageable for the sake of two nights.

Her behaviour towards you is not though and I have no idea why everyone is focussing on the dog and not that. It needs to be made clear that she is to be pleasant and tidy, and any rude comments will mean she has to leave.

theDudesmummy · 13/03/2026 10:46

It might be "managable" to have her with dog (presumably with you having to put in considerable effort and grit your teeth), but the point is that you don't want that. The point is that it is also "manageable" for her to leave the dog behind. It's a dog not a baby.

Walkacrossthesand · 13/03/2026 10:48

Does she pick up after her dog in her own garden?

Interestquestion · 13/03/2026 10:50

Can you have your toddler on a camp bed in your room and your MIL in the other bedroom?

or - My MIL when she couldn’t do stairs in the middle of the night for the loo did sleep in a put up bed in a room with the three year old and they both loved it. Not for longer than 2 nights but we heard giggling from both which was quite sweet.

metalbottle · 13/03/2026 10:50

You have a husband problem in that he doesn't support you. For the future, make sure you are financially independent and you know where all your family money is - if he doesn't pull his finger out and put you before his mum, you might need it.

Melsy88 · 13/03/2026 11:07

I'm probably going against the grain a bit here. The dog is clearly a big part of her life/family to her and presumably will be around for a good few years still, so best to try to frame it as a positive. Teach the toddler how to treat/interact with a dog. Some of my happiest childhood memories are playing with my grandparents dog. When it works, a child and animal relationship can be really special. I'd plan lots of outdoor time with toddler and dog. Get them both nice and tired and then the indoor time will be a lot better.
I'd suggest she brings a crate in case the toddler gets over-excited and the dog wants to rest. That also will help teach the toddler to leave a dog alone while they are sleeping.

The rudeness also needs addressing. I think you need some firm boundaries that you need to stick to.

Meadowfinch · 13/03/2026 11:15

I think your best approach is to carry on with your routine as normal. Take your dcs to the park, have their naps etc at the normal times.
If she wants to come along then fine, but the times are not flexible. She probably won't want to, she just wants to be with her dog and her son.

So go out as much as possible - Saturday is supposed to be nice.

Be VERY careful letting the dog near the dcs, and make it clear to your dh that he is responsible for picking up in the garden.

Monday is not far away. 💐

ScrollingLeaves · 13/03/2026 11:16

I would ask your DH to agree ahead of time to take the dog out himself for a proper walk 4 times every day outside your premises with dog poo bags ready.

On arrival first. Then mid afternoon. Then after it’s evening food if it eats then. Then last thing at night. Then starting again early am first thing, then after breakfast and so on. That way it is much less likely to make a mess in your garden and it will be calmer.
mot is actually just good dog care.

I also second spending time all together
going out to dog friendly places with her and her dog. Keep the dog on the lead near the toddler and the toddler away from the dog especially when it is eating or sleeping.

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