Are you closer to your siblings or your spouse/partner?

[MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack]

OK, so this isn't a TAAT, but it is inspired by something that someone said on another thread. I'm really interested in knowing your answer to the following question, please.

Sorry, can't edit poll. Second option should be spouse/partner.

If you are closer to anyone other than your spouse then you've 'done' marriage wrong!!!

Someone said they’re closer to their sibling than their spouse??? That’s sad.

They actually said that they thought most people were closer to their siblings than their spouses. I was a bit gobsmacked by this, but then wondered if that might just be me.

Oh 100% my husband. I adore (some of!) my siblings and we’re very close but there’s nothing that comes close to the bond I have with my husband. He’s the first person I go to about everything. As above, if that’s not the case, I fear your marriage may not be where it ought to be!

Those question marks are making me read all the options in a sort of Valley Girl upspeak. I was on the other thread and agree it's interesting.

One thing I have always noted among my friends (and I have a lot of different circle) is that none of us are of the 'my sister/brother is my best friend' type. Most of us have fairly complicated relationships with our siblings, even though we're in contact and there's some form of bond in most cases. I think the sibling relationship has complication baked in.

Also, apologies to anyone who doesn't have a sibling or a partner...I omitted to include that option.

I’m not that close to my siblings, but even if I was, I wouldn’t have married a man I wasn’t closer to than them, because I’d just have assumed the relationship wasn’t right.

ETA - I know people who are extremely close to their siblings, including one woman very close to her twin. But I think they’d all say they’re closer to their spouses.

I don’t have much in common with my siblings. There’s no big drama but we don’t talk much. From quite early days I was much closer to DH.
I’d be surprised by anyone who wasn’t, and if my partner said they were closer to sibling I’d be devastated.

I think I may actually be closer to my lollipop lady than any of my siblings 🤣. And that’s without any bad blood in the slightest.

I'm so sorry I didn't include a lollipop lady in the range of options!😂

I’m very close to one of my sisters but closer to my husband because as someone said upthread if you aren’t closer to your partner than anyone else , excluding children , then you’ve gone wrong somewhere.

DH is my best friend. I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't.

I think you should have added 'same sex sibling' and 'opposite sex sibling' to make the vote more interesting 😄. I don't have a sister but I can imagine lots of women being equally close (but in a different way) to their sisters. Lots of women seem to have best friend type relationships with their sisters.

This is a TAAT and nobody even suggested this. This is the weirdest interaction on MN ever.

I haven't voted.

I think it is a different sort of 'closeness'.

In the same way we (in English) use the word 'Love' for so many different emotions.

I love my dh, but in a very different way from the love I have for my dc.
I love my siblings, my nieces and nephews.
I have some friends that I love.
I also love chocolate.
I love getting into a freshly made bed in a hotel.
I love running.

etc
etc
etc

I've known my siblings since I was born (well, the younger one from when he was born). We have shared experiences and memories that I don't have with my dh. Lovely memories and funny things that happened, but also sad events, incl things like death of our parents which brought us a closeness that wasn't there before and that isn't something my dh can identify with. We have memories of places and people that my dh never knew. They are things that give us a closeness that only we have.
Separately I am obviously close to my dh - but it is in a very different way.
I am really close to all of my dc, and that closeness is a different sort of closeness that they will have with their partners.

Spouse. My siblings are so different to me, I often wonder if I might be adopted. We have zero in common.

I get on much better day to day with my husband (and our marriage is fine!) but my brother is my brother, we have 45 years of shared family history. It’s like saying do you love your mum or your husband more. I couldn’t pick.

I love my husband more than my mum. And I hope for the same kind of romantic relationship for my DDs.

I really like my brother in law. He’s very funny and they are hilarious together.

Ignore my post. I mis read the thread title!

I speak to my Amazon guy more than my
sibling so definitely partner.

Honestly, it's not really comparable. My sister and I, despite massively getting on each other's nerves, have an irreplicable bond based on our shared childhood and memories from that time and DH and I have a different kind of bond. There are things I'd tell my sister and not DH and vice versa. Before anyone says anything, Dh also has a really close bond with his siblings which is totally different to his relationship with me, so it's like comparing apples and pears.

I remember when my uncle died and my mum said "that's the last person gone who remembers me as a little child" and there's something in that.

Its such a different relationship I'm not sure its a sound comparison