If you met your child when you were a child would you think they were posh?

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

I definitely would, but I thought anyone who didn’t have to share a room with a sibling was posh. If you lived in a detached house you were basically part of the royal family as far as I was concerned. DH said he would think they were a bit posh because they get to do after school clubs and extra curriculars and he never got that.

Second question: at their age, would you have been pals with them. DD6 asked me this morning if we would have played together at school, and I said yes of course we would have. But really our paths would never have crossed and if they did I would have thought she was a square because I was really naughty at her age. From 6-9 I was just a terror for no good reason. She definitely would have told the teacher on me (as she should). Also I can’t lie, I would discourage DD from playing with a kid who behaved how I did.

DS5 I probably would have played with because he likes cars and messy play and at that age I loved going in the water tray ect. DD2 is 11 months so not really at that stage yet.

I grew up in a big old house with stables and … but we didn’t own it, Pa was a stud manager. We barely had two pennies. It’s experience feeding behaviours that place some in the ridiculous place called ‘posh’.

I grew up in a big old house with stables and … but we didn’t own it, Pa was a stud manager. We barely had two pennies. It’s experience feeding behaviours that place some in the ridiculous place called ‘posh’.

Same! Maybe a bit for me but I moved around a lot (including internationally) and didn't really have a sense of UK class as such. I was always an outsider anyway.

My husband, definitely. He grew up very working class and in a northern town decimated by closing factories. He had a perfectly happy childhood but never went to the theatre or a museum or abroad - all things my son thinks of as commonplace.

Definitely.
My children have had far more opportunities than I had as a child. They live in a big house in a nice area, have holidays abroad, do hobbies that cost quite a lot of money, got cars when they turned 17 etc. All those kind of things were completely out of reach for me growing up. As a child I would have thought that anyone who lived in a house like we own now must be extremely rich and very posh. My DC know that they are priviliged compared to many but they also have plenty of friends who are much better off than us so I don't think they would consider themselves posh.
Ironically I used to be bullied at school for being posh because my Dad worked in an office rather than down the pit or in a factory, even though we had a very modest lifestyle as he earned less than most of my classmates' parents. I also didn't have the local accent as my parents had moved from another town, so I got told that was posh too. However, both at medical school and at various points through my career I have been mocked for my "common" accent and working class background. "Posh" is definitely a relative term!

Hmmm probably not. I had a privileged childhood growing up (nice house, private school etc) and to be honest I sometimes I worry I cannot provide as much for my own DD. That being said, my parents split up when I was very young and I had a tumultuous and unsettled childhood. I would rather DD grew up in a happy home than a rich one any day. We would absolutely be friends as she is my personality double. It's uncanny how alike we are especially as children!

Yes, I would have been intimidated and bewildered by my daughters, especially my eldest: I went to a northern comp, they have been privately educated in the South. They would have seemed like different species to me. Strange, hadn’t considered this before

This.

I had no clue what ‘posh’ meant at 6 years old!

And tbh I’m still a bit fuzzy on the definition now, at 36, as it seems to be very, very subjective.

No they’re very mandem mandem, maybe my daughter though she is a posher accent.

This is interesting, can I ask how that happened? Sorry if that’s too nosey!

Yes.

I did not grow up in poverty - I had everything I needed, but my two children live on a different solar system to baby Flingo.

Yes! My kids have Sky in their bedroom, I would have thought that was mindbogglingly luxurious when I was younger!

I’m not sure.

I think my childhood was probably quite similar to my kids in a lot of ways. There are differences but I think they are largely due to changing times.

I grew up in a fairly small house in an expensive town.

my kids are growing up in a similar house in a similar town around 6 miles away.

We had holidays when I was young. We go on similar holidays (Spain, Portugal etc) but I think with the advent of cheap flights they cost us a lot less than they would have cost my parents.

we also visited America a few times when I was young (Disney World) which I just can’t afford to do.

On the other hand, we never went out to eat, ever. Which was fine, I didn’t really know anybody who “went out for dinner”. But days out always involved endless rounds of soggy sandwiches from home and I did wish we could eat in cafes etc instead.

Days out were also much less common, I take my kids far more places, although not saying that’s necessarily better. I think sometimes we do too much.

Clothes were always hand me downs.

so I’m not sure. Overall, id say financially we are probably quite similar. “Posh” though, I’m not sure. Again, probably similar, and probably none of us are posh. Kids are quite well spoken, like me, but none of us can ride a horse, play an instrument, ski, speak a foreign language…so no, probably wouldn’t think of them as posh.

I would absolutely be friends with them though, they are great kids.

I mean when I was a child I thought I was posh which is bizarre because I have a broad regional accent and my dads a sparky. So I wouldn’t believe anything child me said tbh.

Equally we are much richer than my parents were but we live in London. So our house is much smaller despite costing literally 10x the price.

Absolutely. I grew up in a tiny house in a tiny village in Ireland, it was only when I was a teenager that our circumstances changed and we were better off. DS grew up in Cheshire, went to private school, goes on four or five holidays a year, has his own car and has pretty much anything he could ask for. I remember my DF having to save up for months so I could get a new pair of shoes when I was 7 or 8.

Interesting question!

Probably not as both went to state schools and mixed widely, but I might have thought they were higher achieving!

Same with the northern town. Ex mining in his case. The poverty there is unreal compared to where I live. He can’t believe what his kids get up to now 🤣he won’t even take them there for a visit. He had a bad childhood though

I’m not sure. I went to a private school but wasn’t a very happy child. My DSs are much more chilled and nice lads (say others). They are tall and sporty but posh wouldn’t be my first thought. I think the young me would quite like them but be a bit intimidated. Actually on reflection we do have a (very modest) second home and they did go to private school so yes, I think I’d have thought posh!

I think they are the same level of “posh” as I was as a child. I don’t think I am posh but some people thought I was. Probably just because I didn’t live in a council house

My DS goes to the same school that I did. But at 12 I was scared of boys so wouldn’t have spoken to him. Especially the sporty types
My eldest I don’t think we’d have been friends, she’s a bit bossy
I’m very much like DD2, I reckon we’d have been either friends or enemies!

Interesting - I probably would have thought my DD was posh, even though she’s not. She goes to private school and that’s where my opinion would have come from. We used to sing songs about posh kids going to private school!!!

I would have been friends with my DD, either that or we would have actively disliked eachother, we are the exact same!

No, I grew up in detached houses, we now live in a terrace - it is in a more affluent area though. Lifestyle is roughly similar - overseas holidays, two cars, endless extra-curriculars. The difference is my parents managed this on one salary. I'm sue my sister and I seem posh to my parents and wider family though. My maternal grandad went down the mines at 13, never owned a house or car or went overseas. My dad grew up in poverty in the NE (holes in shoes etc) whereas we are middle class southerners.
I think I'd be friends with DD, both quite studious and share a lot of traits - though I was way more of a bookworm and she is a huge extrovert. But my best friend at school was also an extrovert.

Yes, DD would have seemed incredibly posh to me as a child. I grew up on benefits on an inner London council estate, went to sink state schools, never did any extracurriculars or cultural activities and never went on holiday as a child. DD lives in a big Victorian house in London, goes to a prep school, does lots of expensive extracurriculars, goes to theatre, opera and classical music concerts as a regular weekend activity, goes abroad on holiday a few times a year.

I don't think our paths would have crossed really, though I suppose DD goes to free museums, libraries, playgrounds and parks, which I might have gone to. I see no reason why we wouldn't have got on and played together although neither of us are/were the type to play with a random kid in a park, we're both quite shy and tended to hang out with our siblings on days out.

My preschooler has made several comments recently about how small our house is, and how when they’re grown up they’ll buy us a bigger house. I get the impression they think we are down on our luck.

The context they miss is that we live in one of the most expensive parts of London. I don’t know how old they will be when the penny drops…!

Anyway looking forward to the huge house they’re planning on buying for me to retire in.

Apparently I and my dc have posh accents for where we live, but that comes from my mother always trying to sound posher than she was and us all going to the outstanding high school in the next county where there were a lot of well to do children attending. I think we just picked up our accents from our friends. Behaviour wise, I was a troubled kid (still a troubled adult!) and my dc have always been well behaved. The type of kids that parents love having over because they were always polite and behave.

I would yes. Dh wouldnt.

Dh and I grew up in very different circumstances