How well can we expect to feel as we get older?

[featherpea]

In my late 40's and currently trying to get my dose right and it's making me wonder how well I should or can expect to feel at this age and going forward. I do understand that as we get older we can't expect to get away with stuff the way we did in our younger years and that poor diet, lack of exercise, lack of rest, sleep all come with a steep price felt ever more dramatically with age. So we do need to eat better, get appropriate exercise, sleep and cut back on out vices such as alcohol and so on. Even if we live really well we might still never feel as good as we once did.

My Dad when he was my age was doing all the right things but noticed himself feeling weaker and more fatigued. He put it down to getting older but was later diagnosed with blood cancer.

Life in the UK is so expensive now to buy a house, to get an education, to start a family and save for retirement if we live that long its likely people will be working until nearly 70 which makes sense considering how long it will take to pay off a mortgage, pay back for student loans and so on.

Just how well can or should be expect to feel in our 50's and 60's?

Surely you can see that this is entirely person dependent?

and what do you mean… trying to get your dose right?

I'm 65. I do a tough, professional job but in the autumn I reduced to three days a week. Partly because at about 63 I was feeling the impact of 48/50 hpw and running a large house and having a dh who still wants a social life at weekends and to go to the opera. Oh, and still capable of driving to our home in the South of France, with one overnight stop although now I prefer to fly.

We have just had a late lunch, all the trimmings roast for 8 (DD's late 20s friends and partners) and I am very glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow. However, I am still as fit as a fiddle. Eat well, active, intellectually stimulated, still in love with DH.

My mum is 89. She could do the splits until she was 87 and still bridging, dancing and socialising. Sadly in recent times frailty has hit hard.

Your dose is HRT or something else?

I'm 60 and feel fine. Eat well (love chocolate though), only a light social drinker and should exercise a lot more - only go to one class a week. Have always slept well and went through menopause naturally in mid 50's no issues. Not on any medications. Consider myself very lucky.

I have noticed a big difference between my parents (who have never exercised, though TBF, my mum is chronically ill) and my in-laws who have always and still do exercise. ILs are actually a few years older than my parents, but mine are starting to seem quite elderly in their mid 70s and in-laws are much perkier in their late 70s, although even they are starting to feel the strain, eg MIL who always revelled in hostig big get togethers clearly can't really face them any more though she won't quite admit it. My main motive for going to the gym now is to try and be in the best shape I can be (metaphorically, not aesthetically!) for when I am older

I think, barring chronic illness/disability, there's no reason for most people who eat reasonably well and do some exercise not to feel pretty good in their 50s and 60s. I'm 48 and I'm feeling better than a lot of the tropes about middle age say, and I'm not especially strong or fit.

I just mean increasing the dose to eliminate symptoms as much as possible (with my GP of course).

The dose of what?

@Echobelly My mum and dad were both active but their health declined anyway for reasons I'm not quite sure of. My PIL are older, have worse diets and FIL is a borderline alcoholic who smokes and while he doesn't look great he's fitter and more mobile than my mum. I think my mum's decline is down to poor menopause care and being taken off HRT after the WHI study and being told to just accept everything as a natural part of aging. My Dad is a cancer survivor and I think feels that his issues stem from that and that he can't complain too much.

@catshatsandchats My HRT.

If you are referring to HRT, let me gently whisper that post men brings significant benefits: no more periods, no more flushes, no more hormonal headaches, no more ups and downs, no need to wear a panty liner at certain times of the month, less greasy hair, no more breakouts, much less perspiration. It's bloody great.

Wow, your mum’s a living miracle @RosesAndHellebores. I couldn’t do the splits when I was 27!

@RosesAndHellebores I think that depends to be honest. I'm peri and its hell. Also if I use continuous HRT I don't get a period. I haven't had greasy hair in my life either.

She was a trained dancer and danced professionally into her early 40s.

I've found I get more aches and pains as I age. Eating a balanced diet, avoiding/limiting caffeine and alcohol and getting plenty of exercise helps. I do think genes play a big part in this, but no matter how unlucky you've been in the genetic lottery, being mindful of your health will always help, and also knowing what is normal for you personally so you can seek medical advice if there's any significant change.

I was peri too in my 40s. This too shall pass. Is your HRT optimally titrated? Well worth spending some bucks with a gynaecologist to ensure optimal titrarion/dose.

@RosesAndHellebores That is what I am working on at the moment! Hopefully it will be sorted soon!

I suppose I just wonder really as I get older is it normal just to feel so awful all the time?

The dose of what?!

Late 40s? No, I wouldn't expect much decline in fitness, wellness, strength, stamina or anything else compared with ten years earlier, and I wouldn't expect much change in the next 20 years to be honest. Sure, I could be very wrong, but with life expectancy pushing up to 90 I hope we're not all expecting decline for the last 50 years, just the opposit as medicine advances, I would hope.

If you're thinking of yourself as "getting older" in your 40s, with respect you need to do a bit of a mental reset!

Imlying, aged 67 3/4.

I am more and more thinking that good health in older age is down to genetics and a huge dollop of luck. Also personality and attitude are factors aswell.

So many young people are getting cancers now, and the trend is for younger people to be at the gym, run and generally exercise far more than our parents did - I think. So you would imagine they would be bullet proof.

There is a theory out there (google it) called "getting through Sniper's Alley". It basically means that if you get through your 50's relatively unscathed health issues wise, you are a good bet for doing well when older. I know so many of my friends/relatives/in laws who got very ill in their fifties and some unfortunately died. Others like my late mother sailed through those years and despite having a stroke in her late 60s recovered very well and lived until her late 80s.

I'm not thinking about it too much TBH. What will be will be. Only so much you can do to look out for yourself before you turn into a combo of hermit and puritan.

I suppose there's a lot to be said for those fortunate enough not to have too many worries, either family, work, relationship, financial etc. Stress is a killer, and probably much more than we realise.

Sorry for the essay. I'm 69, doing ok with A fib that is well controlled. Two little pills a day and nothing stops me! I am not sitting in the departure lounge, but up there on the plane and want to keep on trucking!

I think its just menopause and seeing what happened to my mum, serious decline for her and serious issues for me.

My symptoms became worse post menopause, especially the night heats.

I can't tell anything about prospects from my mum because she's had a chronic illness since I was 7.

I'm 60 and go to the gym, run etc but boy I get tired a lot more easily, I absolutely hate it!

Would have helped if you had stated that at the beginning tbh

Finally! I was starting to wonder if this was a thread for psychics.