How well can we expect to feel as we get older?

[featherpea]

In my late 40's and currently trying to get my dose right and it's making me wonder how well I should or can expect to feel at this age and going forward. I do understand that as we get older we can't expect to get away with stuff the way we did in our younger years and that poor diet, lack of exercise, lack of rest, sleep all come with a steep price felt ever more dramatically with age. So we do need to eat better, get appropriate exercise, sleep and cut back on out vices such as alcohol and so on. Even if we live really well we might still never feel as good as we once did.

My Dad when he was my age was doing all the right things but noticed himself feeling weaker and more fatigued. He put it down to getting older but was later diagnosed with blood cancer.

Life in the UK is so expensive now to buy a house, to get an education, to start a family and save for retirement if we live that long its likely people will be working until nearly 70 which makes sense considering how long it will take to pay off a mortgage, pay back for student loans and so on.

Just how well can or should be expect to feel in our 50's and 60's?

Nearly 55, no HRT( just vaginal Ovestin) and feel full of energy. I eat and sleep well and make that a priority. I walk at least 30 mins a day( 1 hour today) and workout with weights every other day.

I’m 64 no meds work 4 days a week and trying to relax my life. Currently achieving that

It’s going to be different for everyone surely. My mum died in her 60s and was chronically ill from her 30s. Her sister died in her 30s. Her brother died from cancer. Genetically I have it stacked against me so I’m trying to do everything I can to maximise my chances of life but I’m not naive enough to think something won’t catch me with my bad genes.

I was doing fine till Covid and since then I’ve not been the same. It’s very frustrating as I felt like I had done as much right as I can but what can you do.

Enjoy life while you have the energy to do so. Don’t put off travel and enjoyment. That’s all you can do really.

I think a book for old people similar to the ones new parents buy about what to expect at what age might be helpful.

I guess at least one exists, but aging is so different depending on your previous life journey.

I'm 75, and I think I'm an old 75. I've got two chronic illnesses and I've had cancer (unconnected to the chronic illnesses) three times. By comparison my bil is 73 and relatively fit and healthy.

It's a lottery. If you can avoid illness eg heart conditions, cancer etc and you do the work now your life will be better. All the usual vices eg alcohol need to be reduced. Smoking completely stopped. Exercise is crucial esp weight bearing to fight Osteoporosis. Different exercise as well eg swimming, cardio, walking/running whatever you like. I find I eat less now than I did in my 40s/50s. All the information is out there/on here. But there is no magic pill.

I'm 50s no medication, haven't had a hard time with the menopause. Am pretty fit and healthy with the exception of some digestive issues that I have mentioned elsewhere but they've improved in recent weeks.

My main concern is how long the good health lasts and what the point of living to my 80s is if I am going to end up having loads of health issues and at best wasting half my life in medical waiting rooms and at worst having painful procedures done.

One of my friends says reaching 70 is like living in snipers’ alley. I can’t disagree with her. I’m incredibly fortunate, thanks to a combination of good luck and amazing genes I’m like your bil. I don’t take any prescription meds and have no conditions at 72. My dad lived to 99 and was the same to the end.

Totally agree with this. My menopause years (late 40s) were the most achy, symptom ridden days of my life. Knackered, put on weight, hair fell out etc etc. I really wish someone had told me this doesn't last forever.

60s now. Lost the weight I put on through menopause, swim in the sea almost every day, walk for miles, do a stretching routine and life weights, garden all day given the chance. I do everything I can to look after myself and hope to hold on to this stage of my life as long as possible.

Well, I am in better shape at 60 than I was at 40, because I am more careful and consistent about all the stuff we’re told to do: exercise, weight training, nutrition, sleep, blah blah. But luck has a big part to play and I’ve never had to deal with major surgery or significant health problems.

so I would say, yes, you can do a lot to affect your health and strength. But ultimately, it’s a matter of luck. And none of us know the hour.

I’m 52, took up weightlifting at 50, don’t drink much, never smoked, have a mostly healthy veggie diet & a good social life - I wouldn’t say my body is anywhere near old yet. I went for an 8 mile walk through local parks & along rivers today & plan to start doing that more often now the weather’s improving.

I know luck & genetics both come into it, my mum died of uterine cancer at 74, but I think attitude & lifestyle both matter too.

I thought the "dose" would be for anti-psychotics, that OP must have schizophrenia maybe. Or bipolar. 2nd guess was vitamin D.

is it normal just to feel so awful all the time?

I feel it's very reasonable to expect and try to feel at least ok.

Just how bad are YOU feeling, OP, and is it generic everything or rather specific things like not enough sleep, not enough energy, low morale, etc?

A lot of women on MN complains about "exhaustion" and then post the huge number of things they are doing every day. It would be entirely normal to feel exhausted by all they do.

I'm 66 and other than walking everywhere as I don't drive, and going for at least one long walk a day I don't exercise. I eat plenty of fruit and veg - and plenty of sweet stuff (much more than I should), and don't deny myself anything unless it is high in saturated fats (I've had gallstones for at least 20 years). I've never had HRT and other than a few aches and pains, and sciatica, I feel pretty good, in fact just the same as I've always felt really. I certainly don't feel "old".

I’m 64 and dont consider myself old at all. In fact I feel (and think I look) better than I did in my 50s as I’m more confident in my own skin. I’ve come to accept what I used to think were my faults, and have a positive outlook generally. My mum is 93 - we put her on vitamin D tablets in October as she has a.ways suffered from SAD (she’s Australian and the lack of sun in Northern England had always affected her but she hates the SAD lamp we bought her) and honestly the difference in her is amazing! Her sense of humour is brilliant and she’s so much fun to be around. I want to be like my mum!!

I'm 58 and still not through the menopause yet ..on HRT and will continue.
I walk many miles a day with the dog, have an allotment, play squash several times a week. Vegetarian and only a little alcohol...
And I bloody ache. Thanks to genetics I have osteo arthritis and lateral spinal stenosis already. My hip is wearing down and my back hurts and getting up and out in the morning with the dog hurts.

But it's use it or lose it... keeping active keeps me in better shape than staying still (I seize up) I look after the grandkids two days a week and attend baby groups and have to scramble through soft play tunnels , and have no plan to slow down.

I'm tired faster but I can live with that ... and plan to keep moving ...about to start my own dog walking business.. ! I refuse to age 😁

62 and not feeling old at all. Run 3 times a week, eat relatively well while still enjoying the odd drink and chocolate. Not on any meds. Think a lot of it is down to genetics - mum is fighting fit mentally and physically at 91. Dad passed away last year again both physically and mentally alert until 92.

Just turned 55 and yesterday was walking and felt very stiff, more then on other days and wasn’t sure why. Last 5 years has been tough with loss of both parents, constant pain from trigeminal neuralgia (thankfully gone now), losing my job and teenagers with neurodiverse traits. Things are turning around slowly but have felt I’ve not been at my best (through menopause). I have lost weight but still need to lose about 2 stone to get into healthy BMI but really difficult to lose it. My mother started with rheumatoid arthritis at my age but refused to take any drugs. I have ulcerative colitis but it has been stable for most of the time. So hoping I don’t get the RA. Dd just diagnosed with Crohns at 15 😤 so it obvs runs in the family. Still eyeing up a yoga class and thinking of joining ramblers. I have a well paid job but worry I’ll be laid off again! Worried about the future for the kids with all that is going on with the world. Trying to turn a corner this year!

I'm well past menopause and have greasy hair, spots, I still occasionally need a liner and I sweat a lot! My body certainly didn't get the message.

I am 55 this year too. It’s hard but time to start pripritising yourself. I heard something the other day on a podcast about making habits stick. It said to think of it like a rule. I’ve always been good diet- weight wise but found it hard to keep up exercise apart from daily walks. But this year I’ve been doing whole body home workouts with dumbbells and resistance bands every other day because it’s the rule. Somehow my brain has accepted this when I normally give up .
If you can get that 2 stone off that’s 30 bags of sugar you will no longer be carrying around. Good luck to you.

I'm 68, have Atrial Fibrillation which is well controlled. That's it, inherited from my mother I'd say!

I feel very good, energetic, rarely tired, and like going places and travelling when I can. If there's one thing I'd say about ageing, it is to keep moving every single day, even if you don't feel like it. I only vegetate when it's pouring down with rain and very windy. I just walk and use dumbells every morning for a minute or two, practise getting up from the chair without using my arms to push me, and getting up from the floor, even with hands, it's just good practise.

As for diet, I am not very strict on myself at this stage. I don't drink or smoke, I eat protein but little or no meat, love cream cakes and chocolate, and I'll have them if I want. I do 16/8 and have done for years now. It's not to lose weight but to get in the habit of not snacking and I think it helps keep blood sugars stable or something!

I don't listen to hours of talking heads analysing every little bit of news, just get the headlines and move on. Nothing I can do personally about the state of things, so why worry about it, that's what we elect people to do for us! That alone improves my mood a lot.

I am 64, and to be honest peri was a lot worse than post menopause. In my 40s I was overweight and over-worked. My 50th birthday present to myself was losing the weight, joining a gym and getting a dog. No HRT as my GP ‘didn’t agree with that’

As pp said, a key thing for me is exercise. I was extremely fit and then I had blood cancer at 57, now clear, but the treatment and recovery took a toll on my stamina and overall fitness. But, I still go to the gym regularly, lift weights, spin classes etc. I just can’t do 3 classes back to back like I used to.

So, Op, I hope things get better for you, and you get your HRT sorted.