Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

Don't you realise if people didn't go out and about with their illnesses less people would be infected hence your scenario wouldn't exist.

The school basically need to assess whether DD is a genuinely sickly child or OP and DP are problem parents. So refusing a meeting will imply the latter when it’s really the former.

They aren't refusing a meeting. They just can't do a face to face during work hours.
The school are refusing to meet via video call in work hours or after work hours.
Refusing to work with parents in a way that works for parents implies they are not acting in the child's best interests, have no real concerns but just want to be difficult for the sake of it.

If they haven't been able to work out that a 7 yr old they know well was telling the truth, what are the odds they can tell whether or not an adult they don't know is? That's what the medical evidence was for. It would be more suspicious if the child stopped being ill when medical evidence was requested.

Shhhhh with your common sense, there.

These draconian measures won’t work.

Parents who don’t care will not be mildly concerned.

Parents who do will be tearing their hair out constantly with all the sickness and the measures will just make things worse for them.

Parents whose kids are suffering with EBSA need actual support rather than fines.

I bet you that the head teachers and classroom teachers know which families need support and which are the ‘don’t care’ so why resources can’t be targeted to them is beyond me.

I have spoken to the school this morning to ask for clarification about the meeting. They want it in person as they have mentioned an attendance contract then a second review meeting after a set amount of time . I have told them I won’t be signing anything but have offered again to have a meeting (online) to discuss anything else regarding dds attendance if they need to. The attendance lead said she will be discussing with the HT.

I would suggest putting everything in writing - clarifying everything you have done, med evidence provided, and your offer of a video call etc so you have a written trail.

Yes, creating contemporaneous evidence is really important because if the school says you are being uncooperative, you want to show that you were cooperative. I mean this well: make sure the tone is polite so you are not giving the school ammunition to say you are stroppy.

OP is 100% stroppy with them, I guarantee.

That's fair enough. What you you supposed to do - sign to say your child won't ever be sick? I'd send them an email reiterating the gov guidelines and that you won't be seeking appts from GPs unless necessary for your child. I would also ask what their infection policies are - opening windows, cleaning etc
I would also note down that sometimes they were the ones who sent your child home so they could see she was ill and it's not like you are making it up.

OP has been very stroppy here so is likely to be stroppy with school, I agree. Others here are being stroppy, which will encourage her. Being stroppy will make things worse and is just not fair. However annoying school staff are, they are doing their job. I want to try and help OP manage this in the best possible way.

As a parent who had no end of unreasonable hassel from school. We worked with the school, we were polite and not stroppy but this got us absolutely nowhere. We jumped through their stupid hoops and this got us absolutely nowhere.
The stress school caused was unbearable and despite trying for years to work with the school we got nowhere.

Education system is an absolute mess and children and parents are paying the price

@Insistingonit I would keep everything in writing and Remain polite so you have evidence for your own records. But don't let the arses get you down. You're not choosing to keep your child home, you can't control illness.

I don't think you know what the word stroppy means. How patronising.

The schools job is

• To educate the children in school
• To work with parents with respect
• To mark illness as authorised
• To not ask for evidence of illness (apart from in extreme cases where they have justified reasons to think the parents are lying)
• To not penalise parents based on whim
• To report safeguarding concerns via their safeguarding process which does not need parent involvement

I know exactly what it means: aggressive, difficult, impolite, looking for an argument, uncooperative. It is the right word, based on the tone of some of OP's posts. Calling me patronising is suggesting I am looking down on OP. I am not. Schools can be frustrating and it's tempting to be stroppy but it's not a good idea.

Frankly OP has bent over backwards getting medical evidence which in law she does not need to provide. To be expected to sign attendance contracts over something she has no control over is ridiculous. Maybe the school could be supportive instead of adding unnecessary stress when she's clearly already worried about her child's health, and by the schools own admission the child is doing well at school. This is NOTHING more than the school wanting to tick their attendance box.

OP absolutely has not being any of those things, and has actually bent over backwards for medical evidence that wasn't in the school's remit to ask for in the first place. She is also trying to accommodate the schools request in a way that doesn't further financially impact her or jeopardise her job following multiple periods of unpaid leave caring for her poorly child and attending necessary medical appointments. Requesting it be via video call or on the phone is not impolite, aggressive, difficult or looking for an argument. Calling the OP "stroppy" is patronising as its completely disregarding very valid reasons for requesting an alternative to an unnecessary* face to face meeting at and inconvenient time to a parent who is already under pressure.

*unnecessary due to the school having verified medical proof of every single absence, and knowing OP is an engaged parent by seeing her every morning drop off and parents evening, and the fact that nothing in a face to face meeting can possibly prevent OPs daughter becoming ill and therfore absent again.

I agree OP is being given a hard time, but saying it's NOTHING more than school wanting to tick their attendance box is mistaken. Parents have a legal duty to ensure their child gets an education. Schools are regulated by Ofsted and accountable for securing the highest attendance possible for each pupil. That's what they are doing by asking to meet OP, whose child's attendance, albeit for good reasons, has fallen below the 90% threshold for intervention. What you dismiss as box ticking is the school having evidence for Ofsted that they have followed their own processes. It's a pain for parents but schools are doing the job the government has given them to do.

The near hysteria about days lost to learning makes me laugh because my brother and I had the whole summer term off in y6 living with my aunt by the sea, in the 1970s, miles away from home. No-one lifted a finger to send me to school, no local council officer called round, and all I learnt was how to make a soufflé omlette and that my cousin working a summer job in the cream cracker factory spat in the dough. None of this stopped me getting O levels, A levels or going to university.

that's 23 days off. Which when you consider what OP has said DD has had, that would track. Every time I've had DV thats 5 days (counting the safety periods). Chickenpox is 5 days until all crusts over.

I guess going forward you should also just keep sending her in ill, and watch as they then ask you to keep her off when the staff and other pupils get ill. Or when they get fed up dealing with how needy an ill child is.

That is literally just a long form/around the houses version of saying they're ticking a box.

They know as well as the OP does that if a child is sick, they're sick, and signing a contract/agreement isn't going to change the child being off if they're sick.

The OP isn't refusing to send her kid in, she isn't keeping her off for no reason. The school can simply record that a meeting was had but that it was agreed no contract was needed as all absences were reasonable, evidenced and accounted for.

No, it's really not. They need to see how you and your child interact, observe how s/he behaves around you. As a teacher you are raising massive red flags with me and if you were the parent of a child in my school and behaving in this confrontational and frankly suspicious manner I would be organising a home visit followed by a detailed report to SS

No it isn't. 'Ticking a box' is pejorative and suggests pointless administration. It may be pointless for parents but it's not pointless for the school. They have to do it to be complaint with their regulatory duties (which parents may think pointless) and to provide data for local, regional and national statistics (which parents may also think pointless).

As I’ve said before it was not a meeting with dd as well.

If you have concerns you should make referrals to SS regardless to weather a parent can make a face to face meeting during their work hours.

A parent turning up to a meeting does not mean a child being abused at home isn't now at risk.

Also the school don't want the child to attend so your reasoning in bull

Exactly - you confirm my point. Simply box ticking exercise. No common sense, no acknowledgement of the reasons and certainly no priority of the child's health & wellbeing.