Why would school refuse a call and insist on a meeting

[Insistingonit]

My dd is in year 5. Attendance hasn’t been good due to frequent illness. Once she got to 90% the school insisted on a GP appt to verify Illness each time which we did. We already supply the appt letters for appts in school time.

She is now at 88% . We have continued to provide proof of illness. They are insisting on speaking to us we agreed and said we will arrange a phone or video call. They said it has to be in person. Why? We are happy to discuss but don’t see the difference?

We have face to face parents afternoon!

With everything you tell me I don't know, it's amazing I've survived this long. Thank-you, though, for explaining to me what unpaid means.

As my previous posts make clear, I think the school should meet OP outside work hours so she doesn't lose any pay. Only a half wit would advocate for any parent being out of pocket for attending a meeting at their child 's school. I am not one.

No. The school want to bully and control her.

If it was about engagement the school would seek to engage with the parents and what they can manage. The school would be happy to meet online, understanding the challenges of working parents. The parents are there every day for pick up and drop off, they were also at a recent parents evening, so lots of evidence of engagement. If the aim was engagement the school would catch the parent at drop off or pick up for 5 minutes, or speak to them at parents evening, or agree to speak on the phone or online. Lots of opportunities for the school to engage the parents without causing the undue pressure of more absence from work.

Summoning the parents to school isn’t engagement.

2 weeks annual leave for some parents

2 parents afternoons per year, the school performance 2 afternoons a year

So parents need equivalent 2 days off per year just for parents afternoon and school shows from annual leave or as unpaid.
Then there is 13 weeks school holidays to cover through unpaid leave it holidays. That's without emergency time off due to child being ill.

Employers are already being flexible, parents are already taking financial hits.
Also the time and employer has to allow unpaid for dependents isn't unlimited (limited to X number of weeks) and the employer only needs to allow unpaid dependant leave if doing so wouldn't be detrimental to the business

Yet schools can refuse to any reasonable adjustments or adaptions because they feel like it

I would assume they will want you to sign an attendance contract, but as part of this you can discuss what school’s role will be to support your child.

howver as you are now into the second academic year of your child having poor attendance, this should come as no surprise?

Primary teachers won’t have time during their 5 minute slots to discuss attendance and it is great your child is performing well.

If you can’t make the meeting at time suggested - ask for it at beginning or end of school day where you are available surely?

depends on the sickness ovbs - something like chronic illness cannot be improved and we would be understandably supportive. A pupil with diabetes for example cannot help their condition and we would be very sympathetic.
a family that regularly keeps their child off for a low grade fever / bit of a headache, a sniffle , these are things that you can improve as adults it would not stop you from attending work, why keep a child off school- what are you teaching them about resilience.

Why would you have a problem with going in for a meeting but would be willing to do a video call? They’re probably thinking “if the parents can’t be bothered to come in, in person but have time for a video call they’re not taking the issue seriously”

All of this is known about when people decide to have children. Schools can't be held responsible for people's personal choices.

Yeah I need loads of time off for assemblies, sports day, parents meetings, shows. Luckily we tag team and I try to schedule creatively. So we don’t both do everything. For parents eve we try to get the slot closest to wraparound pick up.

It’s just how it is. having kids comes with this stuff.

I’m lucky I have a supportive employer and my role can be more flexible. Some poor people really struggle.

as much a remote is helpful - not all professions can accommodate that either. Some jobs don’t involve laptops and office space.

A cold can be mild or it can completely floor people.
Surely this is up to a parent to judge the degree of illness. They are with the child and know the child best.
Quite frankly Mrs Jones in class 6 who can see the child and isn't a medical professional is not the person who is best placed to decide how sick the child is.

When my child was ill with a long term health condition. That frequently put them in hospital we had no end of hassle from school over attendance. So much pressure that I against my better judgement gave in and sent child to school. With the promise they would ring if child was unwell at all.
They didn't ring but one of the staff did tell me on pick up that child had been so unwell all day.
But unfortunately the attendance meant more to the school than the child health so they opted not to ring us.
So don't tell parents they can't decide if child is too ill for school.

Yep and so many job opportunities for those teachers if no one has children. Like imagine going to work in school everyday and teaching to an empty classroom. Who needs kids there. No risk of losing your job if no kids right

So in OPs case - chicken pox? GP confirmed illness? D&V that the school have sent the child home for?

They can avoid making it worse by insisting on meetings in person rather than online.

And employers make the choice to not employ women with primary aged children.

How many times have there been women on here who want to get back to work but can't find a suitable job?

This intransigence by schools doesn't help.

Because children aren’t mini adults, their health changes more quickly, they often need more rest and more support. As an adult I can assess my own health, take medication and know when to stop.

Children don’t have that capacity, they need someone to chose and administer medication - my kids school won’t give them paracetamol during the school day so while I could dose them up in the morning, by lunchtime they’re feeling poorly again. So I’d keep them home with something I might try to work through, because of if I get it wrong I can take myself out of work, or take more medication, my kids can’t do that.

In a parent or parents are going into school most days in term-time, a f2f meeting shouldn't be a big deal.

Yes chicken pox is a good example actually. When the spots are scabbed they can come back. We totally get that, would be a non issue. However there are families that try and wait until the scabs have almost disappeared. No need for that extra amount of time off school - they are well and can come back.

As a society, we haven't found a way to accommodate bring up children with having a career, unless you're wealthy enough to have full-time childcare. The Scandinavian countries come nearest, but they pay the price in high taxes.

It would be for me, my work already flex a huge amount to support my caring responsibilities. I don’t have time for a meeting in school to discuss things they already know, or that I already know, that could just as easily be a phone call. A quick chat at drop off would be fine, but beyond that there would need to be a very good reason why they can’t just arrange a phone call.

But some children don't feel well the moment a scab appears.
Some children are full of energy and can be back in school. Other children may still feel very unwell, be hugely uncomfortable with he spots.
They aren't all identical and react differently

Some children get only a couple of spots and others can be covered everywhere. Some spots get infected.

So it's about the state of the scabs and not how well/poorly the child is feeling?

You could attend a pharmacy for those things ( sore throat/ ear ache) rather than the GP. It sounds to me like the school are supicious otherwise asking to verify a fever is just nuts.

It would help school-parent relationships if the questionnaire you fill in when your child joins a school included a question about contact preferences. Schools themselves are not looking for reasons to have meetings with parents and restrict them to matters they deem serious enough to warrant f2f. I agree though that more could be done on the phone and online.

If you want to get picky about it - fine. I don’t know the OP or her child or what she told the school, or how long she kept the child off for.

as a general rule, scabs are healed and the child is generally well. There are cases where spots can get infected and again we understand.its a case by case situation.

i have had two children that both have had chickenpox so i do have some personal understanding as well.

hope that helps 😉

and all of this is in direct contravention of the Government Guidance on supporting attendance that i shared earlier.

The OP has engaged, has continued to engage, and as medical evidence proves, the absences are unavoidable and out of both school and parental control.

The School should be offering to work with the OP and continue to monitor, and if the meeting is as you suspect, an illegal escalation of involvement on the schools behalf.