Friend borrowing money all the time

[Mightmorphinpowerranger]

Hi just looking for advice

I know this is my own fault as I've allowed it for so long but whenever I used the excuse my online banking isn't working she will ask me to ring up and do it over the phone or similar

For context, I have 3 DC, 2 of whom have additional needs and my partner is also disabled, I am the main earner

My friend has one DC and a single parent and home eds but every month without fail on my payday She will ask to borrow- she does always pay it back in fairness but no sooner has she been paid then she is skint again

I really want to say no but I feel so guilty thinking of her DC being without food

Can anyone offer any wise words ? Fully prepared to get flamed as I know I should have said no a lot sooner

Do people not feel embarrassed asking to borrow money? I’d be mortified. It’s telling the world you’re rubbish at managing your own life.

Exactly, especially as they're usually openly spending on non essentials while telling people they can't pay the electricity bill or don't have money for food.

I really want to say no but I feel so guilty thinking of her DC being without food

But it should only be for one month and you can give her details of foodbanks for that. Becuse if you don't lend it to her one month, then she doesn't have pay you back so that's more money for her.

The problem with people that borrow then pay it back means that their pay is down however much they borrowed

They get paid £1,000 but need £1,100 a month so borrow £100 then next month pay you back the £100 so they are short by the end of the month again.

If , and its a big if you can afford to give her the money and not need it back .
Tell her this but make it absolutely clear that this is the last time you will have any conversation about money and uou will never lend her anymore.
But you have to be very very firm with this .

Thankyou for all your kind comments, I had fully prepared myself to be flamed, but no, you are all right, I have messaged her tonight to say going forward I'm not in a position to help and it's got a thumbs up so hoping she doesn't ask again! She doesn't live local to me so I'm unsure of the food banks available but will have a Google!

I am glad you messaged her , you have done the hardest bit now , hopefully she won't ask again but if she does stick to your guns.

If she manages to get you to change your mind once she will pester you forever more.