If you left London, do you regret it?

[Hareyy]

Both DP and I are Cornish. We’ve spent almost a decade of our lives living in London. Live in a small flat in Z1 and walk everywhere. Do a lot of cultural things. But feels like we’re starting to yearn for space. We can’t afford anything more than a one bed here, and the thought of living in suburbia gives me the creeps.

So we’re thinking of leaving London for somewhere more affordable. Back to Falmouth? To Edinburgh? To Bristol?

If you left London, do you regret it?

Not any more, but it took me a good 2 years and a couple of moves to get over it and stop
mourning my life there. Moving to another city helped.

After a decade in London I can completely relate to your hireth.

I guess a lot depends on finding work that still pays you well. I don't know what you or your DP do for work but as you undoubtedly already know that will be difficult to find back in Cornwall.

Falmouth is great if you can get decent paid work, Bristol is alright but I would much prefer Exeter either working and living there or commuting across the border everyday (plenty of people do it).

I regret it tbh, but I am a proper city person. I could never live in a small town or countryside. I particularly miss the London street/neighbourhood aesthetic and proximity to creative people and arts etc. I now live in an expensive university city that ostensibly has 'stuff' but it's not the same. Whenever i go back i feel REALLY sad that I can't afford a 1.5mill house in the area i rented a flat in for almost 20 years 🤣

The main plus of leaving is that we are nearer family which has been great for my daughter and I do generally feel safer and I feel relieved that she hasn't been exposed to any antisocial behaviour and it will be very safe for her to be out and about as a teen.

But I must admit to at least once a week looking up flats and secondary schools and thinking 'what if'?

Lived in SW15 but moved to Surrey when had kids/married. Literally just bought a flat in London to start a phased move back from our family home (can’t leave fully yet as have spaniels that need lots of walks). DD living in the flat FT because she is at Uni, DH using it for work, and I’ll join him in due course at weekend etc.

Fed up with the fact that although there are things to do in Surrey/Hants - everything is a drive or multiple trains - traffic is horrendous into and out of most of the market towns, parking is extortionate, prices are pegged on the basis of most people being London based for work (£10 for a glass of red wine you can buy for £8 in Sainsburys), and you can’t drink anyway as you probably opted to drive. Trains back from London take an hour, but are subject to cancellation and so you often spend hours waiting at Waterloo and get home shattered.

Have bought my membership of the V&A and other museums (helped by the fact that as I am a mature student I get all the discounts), booked tickets to the theatre and even the opera this summer (can get on priority often discounted mailing lists as a local resident) and can be home in bed within 20mins of leaving any theatre, pub etc And whereas the high streets of all the local towns look like ghost towns as all the chains have closed down, Oxford street and Covent Garden are still full of great brands. I also won’t miss driving. Took me an hour to get home at 530 for a journey of 8miles that should have taken 16mins. They were cutting the grass earlier today apparently, but hadn’t removed the cones that took the dual carriageway down to a single lane… For less than half a mile.

So, yes, we have missed London for the last 20 years. Don’t regret the access to great schools and pretty environment, but very happy to be going back to London.

Don’t regret it one bit. Not because I don’t adore London, but because I was ready for the next chapter of my life. I moved to NYC.

I would never leave London for suburbia though, can’t think of anything worse.

OP I was you 10 years ago.

Spent a decade living in London with DP (pre kids) bouncing around various flats in Zone 1, walking everywhere, working in the City, enjoying London life. But we started getting a bit tired of the constant onslaught of it all and wanted a house of our own and more space. We ended up moving to a rural spot in the Home Counties. Had kids. Commuted into London for a few years, then switched to home working since Covid.

if I’m honest - yes I miss London. I miss the variety of people, the restaurants, the bars, the fashion, the theatre, the museums and galleries, the shops, black taxis, the tube, the anonymity. So many things that you simply cannot and will never find elsewhere.

but do I wish I stayed in London? Nope. My family has a more safe, peaceful and community-oriented life here in the burbs. We have a massive fruit and veg garden, a dog, and space to park our cars. We know the people on our town and have made lots of friends (many of whom are former London folk like us). On balance it is healthier.

but I still miss London and visit regularly for my hit of culture and dim sum

Yes I do, all the time. Devon’s lovely but I love London and wish I’d never left every day. DH and DD are the opposite; both hate London and love Devon so I'm outvoted! I’ve been gone too long to ever be able to go back though.

Yes, definitely miss it. I didn't live in London for very long but when I go back it feels like home.

For family reasons, I moved to another city in SE with all the expense but not nearly as many benefits as living in London.

I lived there aged 18 until 50 (2018). Moved overseas then. DD is still there, living here best life and taking advantage of all it offers, while not being able to afford to buy a flat despite a very substantial deposit. I really enjoy my visits and always plan several days in the city. The public transport network is so much better than where I live now.

Yes I do miss it and regret it in some ways as I spent a decade there and absolutely loved it. I couldn’t afford a property though and moved back to my home town. If I could have afforded a place on my own I would have stayed.

We moved to London after finishing uni and left twice. Once early on because my husband couldn’t find a job (academic) in London. We lasted 16 months. Second time 15 years later because him indoors was offered a job he couldn’t refuse. Or so we thought.

I got homesick a few years in and it only got worse, not better. I started to spend more and more time back in London and eventually we retired back to London. We still work around 10-15 hours a week, we volunteer and we love walking in London, which keeps us fit.

My husband was less desperate to return, but now we’re back he enjoys exploring London - so much has changed in the intervening years, and yet it’s still the same… I am so, so happy to be back. It’s where I belong. I’ve made so many friends, I go to concerts and the theatre at least twice a week, I love popping into one of the art galleries whenever I feel like it and I go to most of the special exhibitions.

I grew up in the country but I was clearly meant to be a city girl - and for me there is no city like London!

I miss London. I'm considering selling my house when my kids are grown up and retiring to a flat in London.

I grew up in z3 which I would class as suburban & don’t really get the hate, although I’m sure I would have loved living central for my teens/early 20s.

I wouldn’t want to live more central now but after having dc sometimes you miss your old childfree lifestyle. I also don’t think it is the city it was in the 90s/00s.

Cornwall is beautiful but it would annoy me to have to drive everywhere.

It’s interesting to read older posters are planning to move back, London is the only UK major city that’s ageing (fewer dc) & it seems it’s a growing trend to move there for retirement.

Lived there for 10 years in my 20s and 30s. Literally the only things I miss are the theatre and being able to get decent Mexican food

To stick to the question: I left London and don’t regret it. But I was ready to leave and London itself held no real appeal any more. I didn’t want to do the things that it offered, so I didn’t feel like I was losing anything leaving.

To deal with the topic more broadly: I think if you making a choice reluctantly purely because it is “logical” or “sensible”, you end up regretting it. In any aspect of life.

People give more weight to financial/practical concerns than things like happiness, excitement, convenience. They think saving £X per month is a more important thing than having the joy of living somewhere they love or the convenience of being nearer work etc, even if £X per month is affordable and doesn’t actually impact their long term goals.

(Obviously different if you have basically no choice).

We lived in zone one as well, we now live in another capital city in their equivalent of zone one. Personally for us living in a town or the countryside would be a no no.

I don’t know much about Edinburgh, but I went to Bristol a few times for work and theres not a lot there.

Yes. I moved to a half-dead rural market town for reasons beyond my control. I have no friends here, despite being naturally gregarious. People here don't tend to move away from their birth families and school friends - they have little interest in new people. Horizons are limited in every way: I had to stop driving due to health; public transport's very sparse and stops at 7pm.

I'd have been better in another city. But I'd still have missed London! I love the pace, the variety, the challenge. I'm not sure I'd have loved living in the West End but you could swap a small flat there for a big flat or a house in any number of London's leafy but still convenient postcodes.

No. South Londoner and moved to Hertfordshire. I wouldn't move back to London, too crowded and full of rude people. Haven't got the patience for that rubbish.

Not any more, because I love where I live now (not UK) and can fly direct to London easily, but I absolutely did for years after we left for reasons outside my control. Village near a midlands city, and exactly as @GarlicFound says — incredibly insular.

We moved from South West London to South Wales and have a much better life now in many ways. Large house, much easier commute, a more balanced work life where the expectation to put in long hours is much less. We have made lots of friends. The access to countryside, beach, beautiful places within 90 minutes drive for weekends away is fantastic.
In London I worried about the need for children to become much more street-wise at an early age and there were stabbings close to our home even in a relatively nice area.
I do really miss the buzzy atmosphere, aesthetic, and recently the difference in the feeling of prosperity has seemed to grow, with shop closures, litter etc.
Like others here id love to get a flat in London if that becomes an option in the future, perhaps spend a week a month once the kids are old enough.

Why does suburbia give you the creeps out of interest? I feel I have best of both worlds - kids and I take advantage of London opportunities and there is a lovely community feel here. I will definitely see someone I know to say hi to on the high street. Zone 3. Half hour drive and I am in countryside. I know a few people who left in covid and have since returned.

I’ve lived in London suburbia for 25yrs and it’s great. Access to country on doorstep, in Victoria in 30 mins. I am however moving to the North west for cheaper living, still in suburbia but in the city in 20 mins. Much more space, lovely house, can’t wait.

We moved to the suburbs when our daughter was a baby. I still commute to London for work and the train is undwr an hour, so it wasn't that drastic a move. I now take DD to the musueums and to the theatre in the school holidays, which we both love.

I've never regretted it and still ove the area we've made home. We have countryside on our doorstep, but London is still accessible. There are tonnes of activities and hobbies for children.

I think it depends on your lifestyle. Pre-child, we were out socialising a lot and wouldn't want to be tied by the last train etc. suburbia would have felt boring, now it's ideal!

We moved to a small town within commuting distance and have been very happy here.

When I’ve had a day of taxiing teens and stress, I sometimes miss my life in London. I miss living in Zone 1, being able to walk to a gallery for lunch with a friend, finding a buzzy bar and staying there ‘til 1am. But that wouldn’t be my life if I lived there now. I’d be in a too-small house in Zone 3, much more worried about my kids’ safety, too far from my family and everything would be expensive and harder work than it is here.

I’m glad we left but hope my DC get to have at least a few years there before they have families.

No I don’t miss it. I lived there for ten years and left for Ireland in 2003. I had just had a baby and wanted a house. Although I did almost buy a house in Sutton for 220k, but changed my mind. Anyway I ended up living by the beach in Oz which is more my speed now I’m older. We did visit last August for a few nights staying in a fab hotel in SoHo. We had a ball, but it’s too busy and expensive for me now, I was glad to get home. London in the 90s was fantastic though!