If you left London, do you regret it?

[Hareyy]

Both DP and I are Cornish. We’ve spent almost a decade of our lives living in London. Live in a small flat in Z1 and walk everywhere. Do a lot of cultural things. But feels like we’re starting to yearn for space. We can’t afford anything more than a one bed here, and the thought of living in suburbia gives me the creeps.

So we’re thinking of leaving London for somewhere more affordable. Back to Falmouth? To Edinburgh? To Bristol?

If you left London, do you regret it?

Overall, I'm so happy we moved. I'm from London and moved to DH's home city. Midlands. Commutable distance to London so easy for friends and family to visit, and tbh I see most of them about as often as I did when we were all technically in the same city but extremely busy!

I get the odd pang about not being as physically close to my network but I've built a new network up here. We would have maybe been able to afford a flat in the suburbs, up here we've got a roomy 4 bed, I have a good job I'm happy in, it was the right move for us.

As I’ve said upthread I miss it every day; just for the record I grew up in SW London suburbs - hated the place as it was neither town nor country and smug; moved into SE London cheap so-called dangerous area (Elephant &Castle, and yes, it was dangerous back then) as soon as I could afford it but loved it loved it loved it. Had to move back to suburbs as I went to Uni in my 30s and Lambeth were being investigated by the Serious Fraud Office and wouldn’t pay my grant (until my final year when a friend of a friend of a friend who knew a council worker had a word on my behalf). I couldn’t immediately afford to move back to even my cheap bit of London having lost my claim on a housing association flat but assumed I’d work, and eventually be able to move back, but I got married to man who loathed London and we ended up in Devon.

I have rotted here, though it is nice and green and pretty. Small town, nothing much happens, not much mental stimulation…… we can’t afford cinema, plays, restaurants etc. Any job I can get pays about what I earnt when I was 25……and is about as interesting.

All the time, I've been obsessed with it since watching things about it on TV in the 50s. Obvious choice for me to go to college there and stayed until it was too expensive to house our growing family.
Have lived in the suburban outskirts of an East Anglian town since my early 30s, only acceptable because dear London is only just over an hour away. Love it so much.

But why would you want rhat ? Londoner here the country side is sooo boring, cold and muddy Oct- March.

Oh, I don't want it! Have it. Dislike it. My reply was to a PP who lives a personally slow, quiet life in Zone 2. To choose quiet in the midst of energy, options and opportunities is a privilege. Being stuck in the perpetual entropy of a sluggish environment is ... not 🐌

Interesting to hear how many people are / plan to retire to London . My own retirement plan is to sell my house in zone 3 and buy somewhere much more central, and obvs much smaller, when I retire.

My DC are late teens now and personally I think London has been the best place for them to grow up, so many amazing opportunities for them and public transport makes life so easy for them. I have more time to myself now and have a few gallery / museum memberships and spend lots of time now visiting them. I love London and I can’t imagine living anywhere else but my sister lives in Cornwall and loves to visit London but would hate to live here and she and her family have a gorgeous life there.

One thing we do agree on location wise is that we would never want to live in small town like the one we grew up in. For us seemed to be worst of both worlds.

I grew in north London and then lived in Hammersmith, East Acton and Putney for many years.Left to be able to afford property . Initially missed the lifestyle but once I had kids with dh I was soooooo glad we moved away.

Here we have woodland behind the house, my kids can cycle or walk to school along green paths. Best of all I have a wonderful local community , friends, affordable housing and we can still get to a city when we want.

I took dd to London several times and she utterly hates it - she wonders why anyone would want to live somewhere so dreary and dirty and run down!

Moved out years ago but DH and I still need access to London for work - I am commuting in today for instance.
We live in the home counties, nice village, good schools and can be in London in 25 mins.
In hindsight, one of the best things we came to realise as a couple was that space usurped location so we moved out - still expensive though in the South East.

If we didn't need London, I suspect we would have moved up to the North West, where I am from, and probably get even more space / bigger house / may have even been able to afford private school but we probably wouldn't be paid as much

This is v interesting. We live in a leafy Z3 area of London and for a long time we have gone through various different potential scenarios of moving. We have links to Cornwall and I always imagined eventually being by the sea.

however now the kids are teens we are reconsidering - we’ve developed a lovely supportive village around us, this is our DC home and as we come to the prospect of uni and coming home for Christmas etc I like the idea of them being with friends they’ve had since nursery again.

and now the kids are older, London life is opening back up for us, and we now have more money to enjoy it.

never say never, but I like the options that having a house in London gives us in terms of downsizing (though don’t get me wrong we were in a flat for a longtime to afford it) but my absolute ideal scenario would be a small house by the sea for summer and a small flat in z1 for the winter. Pipe dream!

but I think a lot of what people describe in terms of the pace of life outside London we have here with the added benefit of 20 min one direction = central London (and cheap Uber home if needed) and 20 min drive the other direction = Kent countryside to walk the dog.

I agree with this wholeheartedly - my kids friends (and mine) are still mainly all in London, there was a lot of movement pre primary school and then it's settled down. I love London as have / my kids, I am in awe of the cool stuff they've got to do in their teens and my daughter is off to an amazing creative 6th form. Very different to my childhood. But as this thread shows, it's not for everyone - and I love Cornwall (and SW village my dad lives in) when I visit and do sometimes think about living there, but for now, London still works for me and my family.

WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT PLYMOUTH 😆

(Nothing that hasn't been said before by its residents, I'm sure 😆 Although personally I quite like the place- we're probably coming up for a jaunt at the weekend to see the Beryl Cook exhibition and get some big city vibes because we can't afford to go to London or Bristol right now)

Yes @Hareyy
Which life stage are you in?
That will probably have a big sway in your decision.
We have always lived away from our families. With DC it would have been great to have some family support near by but mine live 200+ miles away so was never an option

I’m lucky as I live between central London and deep countryside. So I get the best of both worlds but in both places you still need to make effort to get the most out of it. Right now, I’m going through a phase of breathing a deep sigh of relief and loving the countryside.

In central London there have been plenty of times where I’ve done nothing but loaf around the house all day and achieved very little. You don’t go to concerts and exhibitions unless you make it your curious mission to find out what’s going on and book tickets, engage in memberships, or turn up at things. But when I do, I absolutely love it. A morning at the Tate modern, walk to Borough market for lunch, or back over the river to Saint Paul’s and through the city along the Strand and ultimately through Green Park and Hyde Park.

In the countryside, where I am is a haven for wild life. I see large numbers of hares, owls, raptors of various kinds. But I’ve had to work really really hard to create a group of friends and an active life because I can’t rely on turning up anywhere for interest other than the odd café or stately home. There are lots and lots of special interest groups – be at walkers, artists, historians - but you have to dig deep to find them. So often these are run by people people who left London 20-30 years ago The local market town is shut by 4 pm in the winter. I have my health and wealth at the moment, but I would prefer to be in a city if I got to a point where I couldn’t drive. Rural public transport is completely tragic. But in truth I’m thinking more Bath than London - a bit cleaner and fresher

I have no regret because the size of home, garden and good schools for my DC wouldn’t be in any way achievable in London. However, I am only 50 mins away by direct train to London Bridge and commute in 2-3 days a week for work. I adore my days up there and still get the buzz and diversity and energy . So best of both worlds however I don’t regret my home being somewhere quiet and peaceful

Moved to Australia 18 years ago after a 12 year stint in London. I have never looked back. London is for the young and upwardly mobile or the very wealthy. I don’t regret leaving or miss it.

I am none of these things and love living in London.

I’ve lived in London and now live in Falmouth. I love London but much prefer living in Falmouth. But we’re all different aren’t we?

I moved out of central London last year to an outer Borough. Where I was is getting more chaotic and roads around me had private security at night. I actually think moving further out rather than completely leaving is the best choice if you want more space, although it might not be as fashionable.

So many people seem to move to places like the West Country which would be a culture shock for me although I love visiting. One of the weird things about living very central is the lack of choice with Supermarkets, it’s M &S, Waitrose or the Metro Stores. At last I have an easy to get to Aldi and all the Supermarkets seem to be so much better with only about a 10 to 15 minute increase in journey time to all the places I go to in central London. Stiil don’t need a car.

I lived in London for almost 30 years before moving to a Kent seaside town.

I love the slower pace of life and being able to enjoy more outdoor activities. People are much friendlier and I feel safer here.

We have a direct train to London and I go there for business purposes or to see friends quite regularly but frankly I am always so relived when I come back to my small town!

I've never lived in London. I would say though if you are planning on moving out of London, think about your job/industry you work in. How easy would it be to find work in your chosen field elsewhere? If you WFH and suddenly you were told you had to commute every day to the office, would it be feasible?

I live in Dorset. Train station nearby, and can get into London Waterloo in 2 hours. Also not too far from the motorway, so can drive in 2-3 hours to London (traffic dependent).

Yes, I really regret it. I was there at the weekend and just couldn’t understand why leaving felt like the right thing to do.

We now live in naice Home Counties suburbia and I really hate it here.

We left when the kids were 5 and 1, they’re now 9 and 6 and both really happy so unfortunately I can’t move any time soon as it wouldn’t be fair. DH is also happy here, it’s just me that can’t stand it 😔

Same here. People have a weirdly narrow and clichéd view of what London life and people are like.

Yes, I was pretty skint and in my 30s living in London, and I absolutely adored it.