Being asked where I’m “really from”

[Realscottishhaggis]

I was born in Scotland but spent time between Scotland and England, and we moved around within the UK each year or so. I don’t have a regional accent but somehow sound like I am from London which is where people tend to guess.
I often get asked where I’m from “originally” by people trying to make conversation and they make references to having gone to London and the topic doesn’t interest me. I need a way to move the conversation on.
Also I am not imagining this I have been spoken to like absolute rubbish by some (not all) locals just because they think I’m English.
Some people even assume I am loaded (I’m not) because of my accent and ask how I paid for something or how much money I have or what I work as.

I haven't lived in my home town for 30 years... Still get asked where I'm really from. Accents ime are just topics of conversation that pick people's interest.

My DH has never been spoken to like rubbish by locals because he's English. He says quite the opposite.

I think it can be worded better. I have a southern accent and have the same attitude/question towards me and I’ve been living in the northwest over 25 years.

It does reveal some people’s attitudes towards southerners though. I’m brown too so sometimes I don’t know what they mean. A typical convo would be Where are you from? And I’ll be like oh well I’ve been living here for most of my life. And then it might be yeah but you’re not from round here. Then I’ll be like oh yes well I was brought up daan souf and then they sometimes can be like no but where are you really from? And then they’ll get chapter and verse about my heritage, Idi Amin , exile etc. and then I’ll finish it off with ‘but I’m as British as you are’. But they’ve usually gone by then.

But yes. It used to be called reverse snobbery. It’s just snobbery and ignorance and bigotry a lot of the time.

I'm mixed race. I often (more of it recently) get "where are you from?" When I say "south England" they sometimes say "no where are you REALLY from" and I know they mean "you look foreign."

I tried 'I have no idea, where do you want me to be from?' but that didn't work.

I get this because my dad is from Iran so I have a slightly different look about me. Where are you from? London. Where are you really from?

I often get asked where I’m from “originally” by people trying to make conversation and they make references to having gone to London and the topic doesn’t interest me.

I mean people don't exist purely to interest you do they?

No-one should be treating you like shit or asking how you pay for something.

But politely asking what you do for a living is completely normal conversation.

I'm Irish, living in London with a very slight Irish lilt of an accent and when people ask about it, it's just because they're interested 🤷‍♂️

I have a very obvious accent that isn't from where I've lived for the last 20 years and where I consider home. If I ever get asked where I'm from/live I just say I'm from 'town where I live', but I was brought up in x part of the country.
That way no one is confused by my vocal twang 😁

I think I offended people by being Scottish but not sounding Scottish enough. I'm sure plenty of people would have been happier if I'd just admitted to being English (which I'm not). Plenty folk throughout my life who couldn't get their heads around the fact I was born in a Scottish city and lived there all my life. Now live in England and people can definitely tell I'm not English!

I don’t think I’ve ever asked people about their accent for fear of causing offence. I remember two occasions people brought it up and I demonstrated my ignorance. One was Israeli, and 40 years ago I knew about the concentration camps but not enough about Israel. The other was from Ireland, but not the Northern Ireland I was familiar with but an exotic very much in the south RoI. I’ve not heard a voice like his since. I hope it’s still there. Must go and research!

You can always reply back “are you refer to my accent or are you asking about my historic family heritage”.

I often ask people where they are from because a detect that they may have the accent from where I lived as a child even though I no longer have it. Sometimes the are “white British” looking, but not always.

I’m originally from one of the Home Counties but moved to North Wales when I was 15, I’m now almost fifty and I do have an odd hybrid of North East Wales and southern, when I go back down I get told I sound Welsh (I don’t) and then up here I’m apparently posh 😂

it’s rarely caused me any issues although I have way back in the past been called names and a saesneg mochyn but the vast majority of people have been curious and really nobody cares anymore I’ve lived here long enough 😂

I do have an identity crisis from time to time, I mean im English but I feel Welsh. I married a Welshman, I have Welsh kids and I do have Welsh ancestry. It’s weird.

Just say where you were born surely?

I get this a lot. I know what people mean when they ask where I'm from so I say I was born in x but moved to y when I was kid. That usually satisfies people's curiosity. Unless they have been to x or y the conversation moves on.

Now imagine what it’s like when you’re mixed race. Lots of people don’t believe me that one of my parents is white (English) and it’s irritating. Your issue isn’t really an issue. If all your family is Scottish then you’re Scottish.

It’s not something to get frosty about - for some, it’s just a conversation starter, because they’re curious. I’m Scottish, born in Scotland but with English parents, and have lived in England for the past 30 years. I’m regularly asked by folk where I’m from. I’ve had tradesman in the house this week and they have all asked. It’s better than talking about football! You can ask where they’re from too; people move about a lot these days. If you’ve ever done any travelling, you can’t avoid the question! Don’t take it the wrong way.
The exception to this is if there is any nasty intent behind the question in which case, make your excuses and leave.

DD gets this all the time in UK. She’s white British, but slightly unusual colouring with black hair, very pale skin and green eyes. She was also brought up in Europe and can sometimes have a slight American accent as she went to an American school for a bit. Interestingly, she never gets asked this in the country of her second nationality, but is assumed to come from the region where she went to university, as she picked up a bit of an accent from there.

Well here's the thing - it can be curiosity, but it can also be a cover for snobbery (regular or inverted) and racism. I tend to assume curiosity as I am white and am also fascinated by how people end up where they do. But sadly if you ask this on the Black MN section you'll get very different responses.

I get this all the time. I wasn’t born in the UK , moved to S of England at 3 . Moved to N England at 6. Moved to Scotland at 11. Moved back to England at 27. Moved back to Scotland for six years then back to England . Now back in Scotland. The five years I spent in Cumbria have given me a Cumbrian accent. So I belong nowhere and don’t know how to answer the question. Married to a Scot who has an English accent ( posh boarding school). He gets a lot of hostility from Scots because they think he’s English. It’s really such a minefield.

In my case Kenya. I’m not ‘from’ Kenya.

Seriously, is this such a hardness for you? Happens to people all the time, people like to make small talk. It blows my mind with everything going in the world and your problem is people showing interest in you, which would take you moments to answer and ask them something to move the conversation on.

i get this, mostly it’s friendly - sometimes I feel it’s not. I’ve travelled quite a bit, people hear variations. I’m generally not prickly about it unless someone is being deliberately rude. If someone says you have an accent -I usually laugh and say so do you, I don’t think people realise how stupid and small they seem when they say this.

I was born in South Africa to Scottish parents and moved to Scotland when I was 3. Do you actually think I’m South African?

this question has become more sensitive over time and I can see why. It can be a way of making someone feel ‘othered’ and an opportunity to imply something about someone’s status.

I am much more careful when talking to a stranger the. I would have been years ago. But when I grew up it was how you started a conversation “where are you from?” Obviously now that does sound a bit crass.

But I think it was the first question our species has been asking each other since we stood on our hind legs. It’s also “who’s your tribe? Who are your people?”

These days that can sound like “what is your legal status?”

I don't know where in Scotland you are from? But in my part (Highlands) it is because people want to place you. They are often actually asking if you have links to anyone they know. They want to know if you are their neighbour Iain's sister's husband's niece.

In Gaelic the question "Where are you from?" is "Cò às a tha thu?" Directly translated, this actually means "Who are you from?" They want to know who your people are.

Obviously there will be the odd bad actor, but most people are genuinely trying to place you.