SEN PARENTS SUPPORT GROUP - Thread 1

[mumofoneAloneandwell]

Hey everyone

this is the original thread that was started for half term:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5491563-half-term-sen-parents-support-group?page=1

but we’re carrying it on since it’s been helpful

all parents of sen kids are welcome - also those who’s sen kids are now adults!

safe space to vent, share advice, tips and tricks, share good news and bad, and just chit chat and be 🙂

i am a mum of one dd. She’s 6 and is autistic and not yet verbal. It’s just us, no support system so I am thankful for the people on here keeping me company through the journey ❤️

I've got nothing planned for the holidays, its gonna be the park and the swimming pool for us

Dd's birthday is soon as well, almost 7!

Park and swimming sounds fab!

Thank you, I think so

Cheap and easy and then we can do things once other kids go back to school

I've just realised that at some point in the next year my MIL is going to ask how I think DS' GCSEs are likely to go and I dread having to tell her. It's bad enough with DH being a bit frantic about it, but if I tell her I don't think they'll go great she'll probably go nuts and constantly be on our case to 'do something'.

I'm trying to think of a short, vague answer that won't lead to too many questions!

Oh bless you - I would redefine great and not great

Is ds autistic, does he have adhd as well (apologies if youve said before)

The main thing is that he gets through it with his mental health intact.

What grades is he predicted? A win would be a pass in maths and English for me, and the ability to do his college course?

why is MIL on you case ? Doesn’t she have other stuff to do ? Like you re not dealing with enough by yourself you actually need to report to her ?

I can recommend a “short” answer , but it’s not very vague 😂🤐

😄 I'd do this tbh!

@mumofoneAloneandwell how you doing lovely? Last week for this school, do you have a space for a closer one?

have to say nooooooooot looking forward to next week!

I've got dd having a meltdown over... something 😄

We're poorly, ive got covid - but shes back to school tomorrow for the last three days

I'm alright though 🥰 - how are you?

Is it the change of routine for you? Two weeks feels quite a long time doesnt it

She isn't yet, but I know she would be if she knew his outcomes are not looking so hot by family standards. FWIW I think they'll pan out as fairly average but we both come from families where straight As/7+ is a normal and she's very judgemental. My guess is he'll get a 5 in sciences, 5 or maybe 6 in drama, 4s and maybe some 3s in other stuff. He may have difficulty getting a 4 in English Language and may have to retake

oh dear .. is it a culture thing for her to get involved ?

how many GCSEs is he taking ? Is he y10 now?

He's in Y10, so GCSE next year. MIL doesn't necessarily interfere as a matter of course but if something make her anxious or c she doesn't like direction things are going she will bang on about it

He's taking 8 GCSEs and a Btech (travel and tourism), the Btech was kind of landed on him last minute as an alternative to French which he was struggling with, but unfortunately he doesn't enjoy it and is having difficulty doing satisfactory project work.

Honestly he sounds like hes doing well! Mil can buzz off honestly - as long as he knows hes supported, you're doing amazingly

Can he drop the btec if its in the way of the other subjects?

What @mumofoneAloneandwell said

Can he drop that ? We re y9 and made already gcse choices and were told to go for subjects he loves as the overall grade is important not the subject

we ve chosen 8 subjects (he’s adhd as well) , it’s pretty common amongst Sen kids, would you consider ?

I don't think it's getting in the way of other things, they seem to do almost all the work in school hours and it's all coursework, so he might as well carry on. French tbf, probably would have been a genuine distraction from other subjects.

We have agreed that ultimately English lit is not a priority because there's no way he'll be able to remember quotes (such a dumb demand, IMO, and I'm a philosophy & literature graduate) and right now he can't even do tests with the texts in front of him. Psychology effort also less important other than he's actually doing OK in it. Maths he looked headed for 5 or 6 but since being moved up a set he's having trouble keeping up and has been getting equivalent of 3s in tests, but hopefully moving a set down will help. So English Language is really the biggest concern.

Bless you, Covid is awful isn’t it? Only good thing is I lose about a stone when I get it !

it’s not the change in routine as such it’s the fact that I demand things from him (mostly academic crap) and when on time off he’s unmedicated so his focus is crap… but i still demand, so it’s a constant argument. Plus I am starting a new job tomorrow so it’s all a bit stressful 😩

only positive is I started my adhd drugs (for me ) and dear God they’re amazing in so many ways… highly recommended 🤣🤣🤣

hope you get better lovely xxxx

Thanks so much ❤️ Some hours I feel like super mama, the next hour I'm crying 🙈 I'd say days but each day can be an emotional roller-coaster at times!
Hope you're feeling better ❤️xx

Oh gosh - hope your first day tomorrow goes well!

Amazing on your adhd drugs! I am trying to get myself a diagnosis 😫 - are you able to get more done?

Bless ds - the run up to exams is bloody horrible isnt it 😢

Thank you - over the worst of it but no weight loss here - weight gain in fact 😫😫😫

❤️

Honestly i'm on an emotional roller coaster here too 😄🥺

But youre here and youre doing it ❤️

Dd is refusing dinner and only eating bacon - which means shes hungry going to bed 🙄 so here we are trying to get her to eat something before sleeping so she doesn't wake up in an hour

Thank you gorgeous woman!

re drugs, yes lots done but also I’m super calm and none of the work or home crap upset me , it’s really amazing ; also I was seen within 3 weeks of referral on NHS which is really odd!! If you re in London let me know if you want details of the clinic to refer to, apparently they’re the best in the country

you feeling better today ? X

Is it ok if I ask something here about my 21 year old ds? I’m not sure if I should be using another board but I could really do with some help. Thanks

Of course, please do, all sen parents are welcome ❤️

Thank you @mumofoneAloneandwell. I’m a bit desperate tbh. I do have to go out in twenty minutes but won’t be long. Just incase anyone thinks it’s odd that I’m not answering.

My ds is 21. Diagnosed with adhd but is adopted so there are other things going on. I did try to go down the fasd route but failed and I really wanted him to have help in school.

He got a good diploma in college and started work but that didn’t work out. It was a temporary job. He has worked in his old school and could get a job there but he doesn’t want to. He won’t claim UC, PIP or go to work. He is staying up all night, sleeping in the day. He’s very polite to me when I do see him. I firmly said in November that he had to get a job so he got straight on to an agency who gave just told him his references aren’t good enough. He rarely accepts help from me. He does have medication but doesn’t take it regularly.

I’n at a loss at what I can say or do to he honest. Sorry that was very long but I wanted to give a clear picture. I just can’t seem to make him see that doing nothing is not an option

I've had the afternoon from hell omg 😄😄 - will tell all soon

@Serasar ive seen your post, have read and run but will be back shortly xx

We’re facing delays in the run up to our DD1’s EHCP review at the end of next month. She was meant to have a review of her epilepsy in February, but this didn’t happen. Apparently they’re running 6 months behind schedule but they’ll offer us a cancellation if one happens.

We’re also waiting for the results of her ND assessment. They delayed the feedback session as they needed more information, now apparently they’re reviewing the info they’ve received and will give us another date when they’re ready.

We’re hoping for DD1 to go into residence when she starts the next year at her specialist college in September, when she starts a college course in animal management. The college and SENSAP need up-to-date health information for the review.

Just needed to rant a bit. I’m feeling so sad about the delays. DD1 is nearly 17 now!!