I have an appointment at 2.30pm - how to deactivate wait mode?

[Donewiththisshit]

Wait mode.
Does anyone have this? It’s a short appointment I have later but I can’t get on with my day at all. I mean not even out of bed yet. I’ve been thinking about it for 2 days.
I usually schedule appointments in the morning for this very reason but today is ridiculous.
I will be super productive after the appointment is done later.
Any tips welcome as it’s getting so much worse as I get older. (I’m not diagnosed but almost certainly have ADHD)

You're still in bed at lunchtime because you have a short appointment later?

Get out of bed

I suffer with this too. I do get out of bed but I’m just hanging around waiting not knowing what to do with myself. I’m afraid I don’t have any tips though apart from maybe try distracting yourself with something?
I’m hoping someone will be along with some helpful advice. Just showing solidarity

Watching with interest as I am the same - also not diagnosed, but since ds2 was, I am pretty sure . . .

I find it helps if a) I know what I am waiting for. Sometimes I can't get started on the day and eventually realize it's because I sent an email and am (subconsciously) waiting for the answer.

b) I can persuade myself to do just one small thing. I then get pleasure/ a dopamine hit from achieving that, so can try another thing

c) I do my small thing before I look at another screen/email)mumsnet thread.

I know exactly what you mean. I don't keep track for time very well and my brain has "now" or "not now". I have to focus on appointments that are later in the day almost continuously or I won't remember to go.
I hate booking flights for anything other than first thing for the same reason. I can't settle until I've got it done

it's obviously too late now for this appointment @Donewiththisshit but you could've broken your day down into separate blocks.

e.g. 9 -1pm proceed with normal bitz and bobs, whatever you tend to do in the mornings

1pm - 2pm get yourself into appointment headspace, get ready and organised to attend, then get there

After appointment completion, yer free 😁

I try to keep to your normal daily routine as far as possible, the chunky the time into half hour slot and fit one task in each one. So in your position I'd do the following - with the most physically distracting last to get out nervous energy

Get washed and dressed

Eat lunch, drink water

Watch a sitcom episode of something familiar

Washing, folding, washing up

Good luck with the appointment, hope it goes smoothly ❤️

Just be thankful you're not afflicted by this. It's paralysing and hugely frustrating.

OP if you're fearful that you'll forget to go to the appointment, which is the main problem for me I think, would setting a phone alarm with 'appointment' allow you to overcome wait mode and allow you to get on with something else in the meantime?

I find it helpful to use a visual planner and map out the time before the appointment clearly eg 9-10am do X, 10-11.30am do Y, all the way up to the appointment time.

I really struggle with this too. Not adhd. I think everyone has a bit of this. To handle it I set myself artificial deadlines I the meantime and tell for example, a specific colleague they can expect X from me by Y time and then I have to do it - even if that deadline wasn’t specifically required of me.

Before I read the whole post I thought ADHD. I have the same problem and it’s very common for people with ADHD, an afternoon appointment will consume my whole day and I can’t do anything else beforehand.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying @Donewiththisshit

Micro targets/tasks are also good as others have mentioned. I will send this one email. Make this one call. Once you’ve done one you can usually manage another. And so on until it’s time to leave.

Then you are very lucky. Move on to another thread.

Thank you. Today is particularly bad. I have a day off hence the ability to lay in bed doom scrolling. I don’t like it. Ordinarily I would be up but the appointment would still take significant brain space.

I sort of do this as a way of coping with any appointments later in the day.

I usually set an alarm on my phone for around an hour or so before the appointment - enough time to get myself ready etc

I find that once the alarm is set I can “allow” myself to put it to one side and do other things in the morning, safe in the knowledge that when my alarm goes off I will switch back to waiting / preparing mode!

I’m the same OP…I can’t focus on anything else other than ‘the thing that is looming’. It’s so annoying…and I’ve really tried to break myself of this (whatever ‘this’ is!)

It’s like my brain takes control over my body, and won’t let me do anything other than focus on my ‘3:15 appointment’. I’m clock watching all day, and even then, I can be late for the sodding appointment! How is this even possible?? How can I be late for something I’ve literally been focussing on for the past 8 hours?? 🤯😳

Why am I very lucky? And why should I move on to another thread?

Is it the dentist? (at tooth hurty)

I do this. Always have. Also, if I have an appt/event planned that I’m not particularly looking forward too I am in wait mode for days on end. I will do the normal stuff, get up, eat ect but my productivity at work and home is extremely low for about a week or two before.

I get this too, if I have something later in the day my brain goes into waiting mode (not heard it described that way but it fits). I’m not worrying or preoccupied by the “thing” but my brain struggles to settle to another task until the thing is done. For me it’s a childhood thing where waiting wasn’t a good thing - my house was a “wait til your father gets home” style of discipline and I’d spend the day worrying, waiting to be disciplined. I don’t worry while waiting now, but I’m definitely waiting.

What helps me now is recognising that I’m waiting, having something not too absorbing to do - so maybe folding laundry, or if at work doing something that doesn’t need a lot of focus. If I can I plan appointments for days I don’t need to do much so I can catch up on myself afterwards. I also make a list of easy things I need to do because once my brain is in that place I literally can’t see what needs to be done or how to do it. It’s much worse for me in menopause.

It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have “waiting mode”, you know it happening, and why it’s happening but you also can’t just push through.

🙄

Work out how much time you have before you need to leave for the appointment.

Find a specific task or tasks that will fill that time.

Have you tried writing a mini list of tasks to do before the appointment. It could include ' have shower' for a sense of achievement or 'get ready for appt 1 hour before' . Then force yourself to do them and tick them off as you go

Do yourself a backwards count

Appointment at 1430
So leave to get there 1400
Need to be ready to go by 1330
Need lunch by 1300
Start lunch 1230
Shower and get dressed by 1200

Get up and start 1100

Something like that

I have ADHD and it works for me