I have an appointment at 2.30pm - how to deactivate wait mode?

[Donewiththisshit]

Wait mode.
Does anyone have this? It’s a short appointment I have later but I can’t get on with my day at all. I mean not even out of bed yet. I’ve been thinking about it for 2 days.
I usually schedule appointments in the morning for this very reason but today is ridiculous.
I will be super productive after the appointment is done later.
Any tips welcome as it’s getting so much worse as I get older. (I’m not diagnosed but almost certainly have ADHD)

cos you don't understand ergo wouldn't seem to be similarly afflicted by the stress/pressure some people feel when overwhelmed, just waiting and summoning up the motivation to attend?

Same, I applied this a while ago and it really works well.

I have to actively plan something I need to do beforehand. So I will book something else in for the morning, promise to do something for someone else before the appointment, or decide I need to do a particular job before the appointment, like defrosting the fridge or whatever.

I have this too. I try to get early morning appointments to avoid waiting mode but it’s not always possible. I always get ready first thing so that’s off my to do list then set an alarm for when I have to start getting my shoes on etc. Between that time I potter around doing laundry etc. but it feels strange and unsettled. I can never concentrate on anything important in this time or even enjoy a tv show. Even though the alarm is set I keep checking the time obsessively.

I understand op.

When I was younger I used to really be in awe of how other people could just 'do' things when they had something on later. Shopping before a shift, going out for a walk even if they had an appointment later that day. I would do NOTHING until my shift/appointment was over.

I was disagnosied with autism and adhd in my mid thirties, after my sons NHS consultant started to suggest it can run in families, and it would be worth seeing my gp and asking for a diagnosis.

Waiting mode is a real thing

I think it depends what the appointment is for, if it's a worrying one it can disrupt the days before but if it's for not much then I need reminders in case I forget it

Challenge yourself to tidy the entire house before the appointment.
Downside is you will probably not leave on time trying to finish the challenge.

The OP can call it 'wait' mode if she likes though, the meaning is still clear?

I know exactly how you feel and I am the same. I cant function well when something like an appt is hanging over me.

Its definitely getting worse as now I feel like having plans puts me on edge and waiting for them to be over. Even when they are things I enjoy and want to do.

But appts are particularly bad and I have a weekly evening shift which doesn't help either!

Ritalin has helped me with this SO MUCH. Get that diagnosis.

its an adhd thing....

Yeah it's been covered 👍

I set an alarm for the time I'd need to start getting ready, then try and just rely on that!

I'm the same, Op. I hang my whole day on an appointment. My calendar will have an appointment written on it for a specific day and it's like that's all I'm going to achieve that day.
What I've started to do is tell myself I have to have x,y and z (household stuff) done before that time as though my life depended on it, just to avoid wasting so much time. In my head I'll have myself convinced I can't make the appointment if I don't have eg. two loads of washing on the line by 'leave the house' time.

Another one with ADHD and autism here.

Morning appts wherever possible.
Physical tasks in the lead up - clean x, move y, exercise, phone call with a lot of holding even.
Go to the place where the appointment is and sit in a cafe nearby with a laptop working / a book to read / whatever.

I struggle with this too quite a bit.

My daughter is also the same, she is autistic. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but going through the process with her did make me wonder about myself.

If I’ve got an appointment, or somewhere to be after work I struggle to focus at work. On a weekend, if I’ve got something in the evening, I’ll be stuck all day - it’s not an anxiety thing I don’t think, it’s not stuff I’m worried about. It might be a night out. I’ll spend all day doom scrolling, planning what I’m doing to my hair, make up, outfit, etc, and then procrastinate so long about actually doing it, that it’s too late to do any of the things I’ve planned and I often end up late.

DD finds it very difficult to plan more than 1 thing a day - for example, I remember in the summer, she had a work shift at 6pm, all her mates went to the beach for the afternoon, but she couldn’t entertain the idea of going to the beach and going to work later. She spent all day dressed in her work uniform sat on her bed, checking the alarm she’d set to remind her to go to work hadn’t magically turned itself off. I’d offered to pick her up from the beach and then take her to work so she didn’t have to worry about getting the bus or being late but she wouldn’t have it.

I’ve no idea how to fix it. A visual time table helped my daughter - she’s got a white board with everything on - so what time to get up, what time to get in the shower, what time to leave the house, how long she can spend somewhere before she has to catch the bus home, etc. It helped having written down so she could visualise each step.

I didn’t find it helpful though, I know what time I’ve got to get in the shower, but still fanny about.

Thank you for all the validating and helpful responses. Appointment is done and now I feel like a different person, although I think all the adrenaline build up means I then need recovery downtime!. It’s bonkers and objectively I know while I’m in ‘waiting mode’ I need to do something but even when I am active my brain is still focused on the upcoming thing.
Glad to see I’m not alone with it.