Anyone else have a neighbour that monitors everyone?

[Popcorntimewatchingdrama]

So, we finally moved into the new estate have been there for a year. Everyone’s settling in, the vibes are great, and life is pretty mundane… except for our self-appointed “Sheriff of the Estate”. She’s always been pretty active on the WA group, god forbid a bin isn’t emptied on time or something or a dog wees on a lamppost nothing to do with us. We try to live and let live but be really respectful of others.

Apparently, we have a neighbour who has decided—unprompted and unpaid—to be the CEO of her own Neighbour Watch. She’s out there recording cinematic masterpieces of everyone arriving and leaving the estate, we’ve only just found this out.

Things hit a fever pitch this week while we were (thankfully) away. Now, keep in mind: we all have massive drives (2–3 cars easily), wide roads, and plenty of visitor bays. But someone dared to park on the street opposite our house for—wait for it—3 hours and 16 minutes. Absolutely nothing to do with us- our adult and quiet children said our drive wasn’t blocked or hers or anything.

Cue the frantic texts to us. She sent us the “surveillance footage,” mentioned she knew we were on holiday because she watched us pack our rucksacks on Saturday morning (not creepy at all!), and demanded to know whose car it was and exactly when we’d be back.

My husband, bless him, replied: “Not our car. or anything to do with us or our family. Was it blocking you?”
Her response? “No, but I need to know who it belongs to because I’m doing Neighbor Watch for everyone!” 🫡 (News to us... we never signed up for the Premium Stalker Package).
When he asked why it mattered how long we were away & if the house was fine, she hit us with the fact she keeps logs of people coming and going for ‘security’. We have a zero crime rate locally as far as I can see. DH seems to think it might be illegal to record people arriving and leaving their homes / her house the first one into the estate so you have to drive by hers. We are next.

She then took her investigation to the local WhatsApp group, and let’s just say the neighbours haven’t received it well. It’s currently a digital riot of “How dare you film us?” and “This is actual stalking.” 🍿it has properly kicked off and I can see why. We haven’t replied or got involved.

We’re just sitting here on holiday, rucksacks and all, watching the drama unfold from a safe distance we are a 5 hour flight away. Does anyone else have a neighbour who thinks they’re the lead character in CSI: The new estate or is it just us? 😂

We don’t dislike them but I’m sure as hell not telling them my movements or where I am / be back. In an emergency yes but it’s not.

Give over. I enjoyed it. If it offends your miserable agenda please leave the rest of us to it.

😳 maybe we’re not supposed to be using it 😂 the council never come and grit the hill tho. It’s always been the residents that do it. The council do come and fill the bins back up tho. There’s a sort of turning area further round the street that’s like a literal ice rink the minute it gets icy and people come with shovels to take grit round to that aswell

From now on unless they're locked I'm going to assume they're for residents!

One year I chucked some cat litter on the drive after seeing it recommended online. I do not recommend. It created such a mess, took ages to clean up

Similarly, my nosy neighbour who watches all guests at my house and thinks she has a right to comment on how many male visitors I have didn’t see the man who broke into my house in broad daylight.

I have a sleep disorder and was self-employed when I first moved in with DH, so during times of bad sleep I would structure my work hours for a later start and finish.

My parents were visiting once and when my dad was out for a morning walk he got chatting to this old codger who said he'd 'noticed' how late I opened my curtains in the morning. 🙄 It made me feel very uncomfortable and 'watched' for a while - it didn't help that this was a small village, the kind where an unfamiliar face attracts curiosity, and I'd not been living there very long.

Yep our NDNs, they’re a nightmare. Two middle aged sisters, never married or had children and have always lived together. They lead incredibly insular lives, never seen them have visitors of any sort. They run a dog walking business so leave to do that but that honestly appears to be the only time they really leave.

They get really aggressive about people parking in front of their house, even if it’s just for an hour so have recently bought a second car they never use just to park it in front of their house so no one else can… Every time you talk to them they will start reeling off various insane things they’ve decided people on the street are up to.

One guy went away for a few months so she told us she’d walked around the perimeter of his property to make sure he wasn’t dead. He’s like 30 and I think he’d gone away with work for a while or something. Another set of neighbours were apparently filming porn because they had a red coloured lamp in the bedroom?

The 92 year old man who lives the other side of them is a raging alcoholic and drunk driver apparently. He’s a sweet old man who likes to go walking. They used the fact his dog is called whiskey as proof.

Dread to think what they say about us. I avoid them at all costs, they’re fucking nuts.

Yep, our NDN is exactly like this. She records on her iPad whilst leaning out of her windows, making notes of reg plates, deliveries, parking habits, gardening activities.. you name it.

She took it too far when she recorded my kids playing in our garden one summer so I call the police who gave her some ASBO points. The officer said its sadly pretty common and usually retirees with too much time and an aversion to change.

My current NDN knows everything...

When someone set our hedge and tree on fire she told me "I know who did it, but I can't tell you..."

News to us... we never signed up for the Premium Stalker Package

This is so amusing that I really suggest that you put it in one of your replies to her.

There’s plenty on Instagram about HOAs (homeowners associations) in the US and what a nightmare of small town jobsworths they are, that anything you do to resist that here has to be supported.

I fell and broke my elbow on ice more than 30 yrs ago. The pain was so bad and the ice so slippy that I had real difficulty getting up.

I recall wishing that someone would come to help, but once I was up I reasoned "Ah well. At least none of the neighbours saw me."

A week later, I was going about with my arm in a sling. Neighbour: "Oh, was that when you fell on the ice that time?"

I think this is the irony of it: that these people naturally assume that they are the model, exemplary neighbours trying to elevate everybody else to their standards of 'perfection' - when in actual fact, they are the ones behaving appallingly and anti-socially and dragging sn otherwise lovely neighbourhood down.

My childhood neighbour was your typical curtain twitcher when I was growing up. If someone dared parked their car outside her house (to pop into the corner shop), she’d be in her window staring them down.

My DM told me that the neighbour got so fed up of people using “her parking space” (it was a public road, not a driveway) that she bought a disabled sign for outside her house to stick in the window.

She’s still alive and glares at people from her window whilst pointing at the sign.

The best part about it, you ask? She has never owned a car in the 35 years my DM has lived opposite her!

Probably depends on the type of litter. Wood or paper pellets would be dreadful.

Wasn't either, think it was catsan

I was thinking that if you used wood pellets they would at least biodegrade fairly quickly and not be harmful to the environment.

Nah, not him. He didn't drive. Nosey old bastard.

Why should she? What a bizarre post. You could have asked chat gpt if you should bother posting at all.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers....

Amen sister