Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you want to find your half brother?

39 replies

inkyspells · 08/02/2026 18:15

Basically my Dad has a son but he has never told me about him or spoke about the fact he was married before my mum.
My mum passed away when I was 14 and I’m late 30s now.
My dad when asked by a man said he had two children (brazenly in front of me ) yet has never told me.
I feel too awkward to ask him now but I am interested to know who his son is (even if I don’t ever speak to him )
He is around 3 ish years older than me and from same city but I don’t know if he has my dads name.

Would you be tempted ?
or just let it lie

OP posts:
SlightlyUnexpected · 08/02/2026 18:18

What do you actually want, though? If it’s only to know some basic facts rather than potentially establish a relationship, wouldn’t it be easier to ask your father?

Peelgirl76 · 08/02/2026 18:19

Yes absolutely, I would want to know about him and try and meet him. How did you find out OP? More importantly, how do you feel about finding out you have a half brother?

bluewhitebluewhite · 08/02/2026 18:19

That’s difficult for you OP. Especially since you have lost your dad so you can’t ask him about it. Everyone is different but I would definitely want to meet him. I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. However I have a very good friend who has a similar situation to yours and she really didn’t want to stir stuff up. Sorry that doesn’t help much!

BauhausOfEliott · 08/02/2026 18:19

I would want to, yes.

bluewhitebluewhite · 08/02/2026 18:20

Sorry - I misread your post. I see you still have your dad. Is there a way you could ask?

greencheetah · 08/02/2026 18:20

Yes, I would want to know.

Original poster
inkyspells · 08/02/2026 18:20

I have known since I was 14
My mum told me before she passed away
I think I just want to see what he looks like and what type of person he is
I’m not sure why
I don’t think I feel comfortable asking my dad after all these years.
Im an only child so I always would of loved a sibling

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 08/02/2026 18:26

I think it's natural to be curious.

But whether or not you should look for your half brother is a more complex question. To some extent, I think it might depend on where you are in your own life, and whether you can handle it.

Your half brother may not want to know anything about you. Could you handle the rejection? Or he might have a lot of anger towards your dad. Or he might tell you stuff about your dad that isn't nice to hear - for example, you might find out that your mum was the OW. Are you ready to deal with those scenarios if they should arise?

If you find him and he is willing to meet you, then he might turn out to be the long lost brother that becomes an incredibly important and positive addition to your life. Then again, you might hate him. Or you might simply meet and find that you have nothing in common.

Think carefully before you go looking about the potential that this might have to turn your world upside down. Including your relationship with your dad, potentially. That isn't a reason not to try and find your half brother if you decide that's what you want to do. Just make sure that you're mentally strong enough to cope with whatever might come out of it, and ensure that you have good support around you to help you through it.

fouroclockrock · 08/02/2026 18:26

Yes. Just ask now because you never know what’s round the corner.

Smartiepants79 · 08/02/2026 18:27

Just ask your father.
And yes, I’d want to know about my half sibling. Even if I never met them in the end.

PinkBlueCat · 08/02/2026 18:33

Honestly no.

Endofyear · 08/02/2026 23:35

I think it's a really natural instinct to want to know your half brother, especially as you don't have any siblings. I suppose you could start by looking on social media to try and trace him? It's possible that he doesn't know anything about you and also possible that he may not be interested in meeting so you need to be prepared for that. It might be a good idea to talk it through with someone before deciding what to do.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 08/02/2026 23:36

I wouldn’t - I likely have half siblings as I don’t know my bio dad but I’m not bothered

I think it depends on your experience of family though. Mine has been shite so I’m not keen for more

PinkBlueCat · 08/02/2026 23:40

mumofoneAloneandwell · 08/02/2026 23:36

I wouldn’t - I likely have half siblings as I don’t know my bio dad but I’m not bothered

I think it depends on your experience of family though. Mine has been shite so I’m not keen for more

Thats the same for me, I have lots of siblings i dont speak to so I wouldn’t be interested in any others. If a half sibling contacted me I wouldn’t be interested

Leaki · 09/02/2026 00:01

No, it wouldn't interest me. For me, the important people in my life are those who I've had shared experiences with and a meaningful relationship. I wouldn't consider that I had any bond with a half sibling that I hadn't grown up with.

Isho · 09/02/2026 00:04

I didn’t, half brother and sister, it’s just not something I want to explore, they’re strangers too me and I think it will bring more drama than good.

HannaHat · 09/02/2026 00:16

Yes I think I would. The curiosity would kill me.

Mademoidame · 09/02/2026 00:25

I would ask your Dad, if you can find a way. He might be able to tell you more about your half brother, and maybe even introduce you. I would want to meet him if possible, if he wanted to. I have a half brother. My Dad had an affair and I found out. At the age of 16, I decided I wanted to meet them, when my half brother was a baby. At times in my life I have seen a lot of them, at others less, but my step-mum has always been a hugely positive influence in my life, and I get on great with my half brother. I have a half nephew too. Both my parents are dead now and I don't have much other family, so I'm really glad I have them.

shhblackbag · 09/02/2026 00:29

No, I wouldn't. They would be a stranger to me.

Christwosheds · 09/02/2026 00:38

I absolutely would. I couldn’t live my life knowing my brother was out there somewhere, maybe walking past me in the street, I would have to find him.
It’s very sad that you weren’t introduced as children, I would ask your Dad why, if you think he will talk to you honestly.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

OSTMusTisNT · 09/02/2026 00:41

Probably best to find out what you can now or you could end up with a stranger knocking on the door looking for their inheritance when your Dad passes away.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 09/02/2026 00:41

Did your dad see his eldest child
Did he pay maintenance

There may be a lot of bitterness if not, from him and his Mum.

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 09/02/2026 00:51

I'd want to, but would try to prepare myself for every type of response including rejection, anger or unreasonable demands.

One of my close relatives found her half-brother via Ancestry DNA. He wasn't particularly nice and later demanded that she remove him and their shared father from her Ancestry family tree. If it had been me, I would have kept my father on there, but my relative deactivated her family tree to avoid hassle.

However, as we'd never met this man or had any kind of relationship with him, we couldn't take his response personally and he was no great loss to us.

ultracynic · 09/02/2026 01:12

If I were you I’d want to find out and I’d ask your dad while you can. Dad, you know when you told that man you had two kids…

Raera · 09/02/2026 01:19

Does your brother know about you and if so presumably he hasn't tried to find you?

Swipe left for the next trending thread