Would you want to find your half brother?

[inkyspells]

Basically my Dad has a son but he has never told me about him or spoke about the fact he was married before my mum.
My mum passed away when I was 14 and I’m late 30s now.
My dad when asked by a man said he had two children (brazenly in front of me ) yet has never told me.
I feel too awkward to ask him now but I am interested to know who his son is (even if I don’t ever speak to him )
He is around 3 ish years older than me and from same city but I don’t know if he has my dads name.

Would you be tempted ?
or just let it lie

I wouldn't want to know if I had a half sibling, I have managed perfectly fine without them in my life until now so don't see the point. Too much water under the bridge and you may not even like each other.

I would..far too curious not to.

I found out i had a half sibling in my teens. Have a very close relationship with her now. But another family member was contacted when his wife was doing family tree by his half brother and refused contact.

Upon my dad's death I discovered I have an older brother, he was left money and threatened to fight me for more money so told him go for it, all via solicitors so didn't bother to find out about him and he isn't interested in me. Am happy with that.

Yeah i would want to it would bug me to much not knowing. Like is he alive, what job does he have, is he married, does he have children, does he know about me. It would drive me insane not knowing.

No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t see the point.

My dh recently found out he has a half sister. His dad died years ago but as far as we know he never knew about this daughter. Suffice to say she has brought nothing but aggravation to our lives and regularly blames dh for not solving all the problems in her life and guilt tripping him for knowing their dad when she didn’t.

I had a similar situation - a brother that I found out about later in life. I found him after my dad died and took a few years to decide to contact him. I eventually did when I thought I could handle it, but in retrospect, I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do at all. It lobbed a grenade into my family, finding out all kinds of things about him that I wished I'd never known. After a few friendly phonecalls I realised that it was impacting my mental health and that I wasn't going to take it any further to meet this man who was my stranger, but also a blood relative. Sorry to share a sad story, but it's not always the result you hope for. Good luck, whatever you decide to do x

This was basically the position my husband was in last year. His dad randomly mentioned in conversation that he’d had another son with another woman, never ever had this been brought up before! My husband decided not to give it anymore thought, partly because of a rubbish relationship with PIL anyway he is NC now.

It is crazy though, or we certainly thought it was. Felt like an episode of Eastenders😂

I found out I had a half brother last year. I did a DNA ancestry test and it tracked down a ‘close’ relative (half sibling) and a cousin in the US. These chaps have the same surname so I’m thinking they are known to each other as cousins. My dad mentioned he may have a kid out there. My uncle was a bachelor and my only guess is they met two sisters and got it on. Another guess is there’s a US airforce base. Hence the cousin now living in the US.
I have no intention of meeting them or contacting them.

I think I would too.
Does he look like me?
Do I have nieces and nephews I don't know about?

Yes, you have to be prepared for them not wanting to know.

My dad when asked by a man said he had two children (brazenly in front of me ) yet has never told me.

I don't understand why you didn't say "Eh? What did you say? Why did you say to that man you have 2 children? Do I have a brother or sister? Who are they? Where are they? Why has this never been mentioned ?"

How could you hear something like that and not ask him about it ?

I would say to him now "Remember when we were at ....... and X asked you about children, why did you say you had two?" and see what he says.

If he clams up, is there an Uncle or other relation who would have known him before you were born, who could tell you about your family ?

No, I wouldn't. I don't have any contact with my bio-dad. I know he's gone on to have several more children, but no I'm not interested in the slightest.

Nope. I am happy with my tribe, so any expected family members can piss off. Any unknown children would be adults by now, so I wouldn’t have any interest in them either.

No. I’d have no interest.