What would make you want to go to a church event (or what makes you not want to go?)

[elliejjtiny]

Either Sunday services, special ones like carol services or social events.

I'm just wondering as our church numbers are dwindling at the moment as a few of the elderly people have died recently, a couple of families have left and nobody new has come for years.

We used to get quite a few people come for our carol service and for the family fun day (barbeque, games and a bouncy castle) but now hardly anyone comes to those things either.

We've got a facebook page which gets lots of views. I'm just wondering if there was anything we could be doing differently. It's a bit depressing when you organise an event and hardly anyone comes.

Honestly, just friendliness without agenda. I am agnostic, grew up in quite evangelical churches, had a couple of bad church experiences in my youth and had a long time away, but over the last 10 years have tried a couple of local churches and been left cold by the unfriendly congregation and/or hard sell on declaring your faith status/converting.

If I had a C of E church I would train up a small group as a welcome team who are as representative as possible (so not just white old ladies) and ask them to actively welcome people in and make a bit of conversation. I tried talking to the regulars a few times at the last church and was ignored or got snippy comments. I would host some events in the church hall in school holidays with low emphasis on biblical teaching as an act of community service and start to build a community without hammering the religious aspect. Building a link with a local food bank, volunteering at local events as a church team, things like that build connections that may draw people in if they choose.

I feel like in previous generations you were welcomed particularly to c of e without emphasis on conversion/believing but simply to be part of a supportive pleasant community guided by Jesus’s teachings. Now it seems to be about claiming your soul or gate keeping the church for the old ladies. I don’t see any spaces for the curious but not committed or for people just looking for community. Not sure what will happen when the old ladies putting everyone else off die off!

Fully appreciate this is my personal experience and only representative of some churches.

We are atheists so I wouldn't go to any service unless it's a wedding/christening/funeral of a family member or friend.

DD's Brownie and later Scout group were at church halls, the groups are heavily involved in all kind of events and plenty of children attend to help but also enjoy it thoroughly.
It helps also that the current Scout hall and the church are just off the high street and when they have their fairs on a Saturday there is also plenty of footfall from people shopping.
Their Christmas Carols are lovely and apart from a blessing at the end it's actually fairly secular, not different to a concert somewhere else, they have a proper service as well.

DH is now a Chief Scout volunteer and with that comes more involvment but he made it clear that he is not interested in the acutal church dealings.

There's a guy who plays concerts and festivals of school assembly songs with audience participation, it looks so much fun. I'm sure churches could do that!

Also - controversial here- but reading about the Jon robson case made me think about this earlier in the week

I would not allow my children to be involved in any church activity, particularly, when they’re older, alone.

I believe they are at higher risk of abuse with the church than they are in other settings.

Well as others have said, you can't make people believe in God if they don't so there is that. But I used to attend church organised events in a village that I lived in because they were so good and inclusive. They didn't really require you to believe in God (although they were inclined to slip in the odd prayer). The vicar and his wife were really personable and they used to organise some great things; crafting sessions, cheese and wine evenings, fashion shows, tea and company etc. So if you are just after increased footfall at events like fetes, my advise is get involved with other community groups, attend their activities and they will probably join in yours. I am in the WI for instance and we support local church events like the Christmas tree festival and the flower festival and sometimes carol services. We are a secular organisation but recognise that community cohesion emerges from collaboration.

I like visiting old churches. You could be in a building that people were going to 400 years ago. I know a church that has a headstone with date of death of 1640. I always wonder who they were.

I'm probably not much help because in all honesty one of the things I like about church is the tradition, and, with it, the formality I was used to as a child.

So for instance I like Carol services that are very traditional, eg, lighting from dim to light, Once in Royal David's City solo to begin, etc. For me, the formality and recognisability give time to reflect on the year, of being at the same point but a year on. Hearing the same words and thinking what they might mean now to me. And I like to expose the DC to this type of formality and tradition.

The year before last at the carol service I attended, there were dc running in the aisles and their parents videoing their "cute" antics for their SM. I find that off-putting, but I know the churches tolerate it because they are trying to appeal more widely and not put people off. So I am sure my take is out of step!

I wouldn't attend a church event. I used to but the amount of affairs going on within the church community is rife! I stopped going in 2023ish because it was a bit "much"

Good for people watching though!!

Do you have an up to date notice board outside the Church advertising the normal weekly events plus any special events ?
I was thinking that I see any special events plus regular services for our local churches advertised on a local Facebook group, but also I am aware that there is a church near to me which occasionally has quite a few cars outside but nothing listed on its noticeboard which looks as if its notices have been there since about 1994. What would make me go would be any community activities that interested me eg a musical event, or some kind of class/ talk .

Thank you. A local chess club uses our hall once a week but that's it at the moment. We have a few people come to the fun day, that's our most popular event, but not many. The main focus is about helping the community and doing something families would enjoy that's free. We are on a low income ourselves so we are very conscious of how hard it is in the school holidays when you want to tale your children out to do fun things but everything they want to do seems to cost a fortune. My dc are the kind of children who need loads of exercise or they won't sleep. The fun day is hard work but worth it as my dc will be on the bouncy castle pretty much all day and then sleep really well. It would be nice if more people would come. We give each child a little party bag with pencils, balloons stickers etc that are bible themed but I wasn't sure if that was too pushy or not.

I would never go to any church event as religion makes me feel immensely awkward and uncomfortable.

Absolutely true!

I would not want my children having anything Bible themed. Even if the event was free. Sorry.

Yes we have a current notice board outside the church. We also have a big sign for the carol service that we get out each year and paint a new date on.

The newer people who come to our Church often start coming after attending something secular during the week.
We run
Lunch Club
Afternoon Fellowship
Toddler Group
Bereavement Support Group
Coffee Morning
Warm Welcome
Knit and Natter
Youth Club

Many of which get new people through word or mouth, but we also paid to put a banner outside church. We also put a blackboard / sandwich board outside during events like warm welcome / coffee morning / lunch club to say "Come on in NOW for a free hot meal".

I do acknowledge that all of the above need to have enough volunteers to run them, and, if you are struggling for numbers, you are unlikely to have enough volunteers to run them, but they might give an idea for one of them.

I agree with many other posters that some Churches only 'advertise' their events effectively to people who are already attending. A Sandwich board outside when things are on, and notices flooding the area (libraries, shop windows, community notice boards, Drs surgery, etc) making it clear they are open to all do help.

Also aiming activities at particular groups - so toddler group / stay and play / bumps and babies, or 'Men's Shed', a Children's Choir, Dementia Cafe, or Chair exercise groups or yoga or whatever will often attract people more than a looser 'Fellowship' group.

That's fair enough. It's difficult to tell what's wanted and what isn't when we don't get much feedback so this is really helpful.

Unfortunately our main musician is at university at the moment so half the time we have good music and half the time not so much.

I'm an atheist so wouldn't really be interested in church events.

And even if I was persuaded to go to a non-religious community event organised by the church, that wouldn't lead me to getting more involved in the church afterwards.

It's difficult to work out what the community needs as every time we have asked we get no response. Although the people who do come seem to enjoy it.

Tbh i don't mind if we just end up with people coming to the community events but not on Sundays.

We give each child a little party bag with pencils, balloons stickers etc that are bible themed but I wasn't sure if that was too pushy or not.

I will be honest because you're asking for feedback. That's proselytising and, whilst I am sure it is well-intentioned on your part, plenty of people will have a problem with that or be uncomfortable with it - especially if they attended in the belief it was a community event rather than a religious event.

If I attended an event and my child was given bible themed gifts, I would never return to any similar events. I would find it judgemental and disrespectful of me and my family's beliefs. If I was misled into attending the event, I would also consider it a breach of trust.

You are perfectly entitled to your beliefs and I respect that - but that goes both ways. Proselytising is profoundly disrespectful of other people's beliefs.

Good luck, OP.

Like a few PP I'm an atheist so can't help with the theological stuff, plus I can't hold a tune in a bucket, so carol concerts and hymn singing won't work for me. However, I'm interested in ecclesiastical art and architecture, so will visit any interesting/beautiful buildings, especially if they do guided tours. If yours qualifies, make the most of that. Lots of #ChurchCrawling hashtags out there. (We generally leave donations.)

Other church events I've enjoyed have been:

• Teddy Bear abseiling from my local parish church's C14 tower during the Town fete. Kids paid £2.
• Organ concerts at lunchtime, including one in Germany which included a short section of 'quiet and spiritual reflection'.
• Good music generally, as a PP suggested
• St Laurence's church in Ludlow does an annual flower arranging festival which is super to visit. I've also seen others.
• where I used to live, the very central parish church did regular coffee mornings, mostly attended by pensioners but open to all. It also did local produce weekly sales inside (and outside) the church.

Have you got any bells?

But it's a church, not a social club - you're trying to be everything to everybody and end up pleasing no-one.

People who want to be entertained or have their children entertained are not likely to come to a church.

In my view churches are not relevant any more because their message is being so diluted.

Some of our local (village) churches have held events such as a Christmas tree display where village groups could enter a decorated Christmas tree. A wedding exhibition where people displayed their wedding dresses which were displayed on mannequins accompanied by photographs of the wedding, some of which had taken place in the church. Flower festivals, carol concerts with the local brass band, cream tea afternoons. One of them held a village photography competition and then produced a calendar to sell.
All very traditional events.

This will probably sound harsh but the community doesn't respond because they don't need or want church in their lives. If they were interested, they'd come to your services without loads of advertising and Facebook posts.

Interesting to hear so many misconceptions trotted out about churches.

I wish someone told me about these rigid ‘rules’ in my church, I’ve been going for over 20 years and I sit where I like and pretty much just follow the sermon.

Also safeguarding - we’ve moved in from the 70s and lots of lessons have been learned by the church - ask for the church’s safeguarding policy and they’ll tell you.

Atheists are welcome in CofE churches. If you live in that parish you are part of that church’s ‘cure of souls’ - they consider you their community whether you want it or not so why not just go along and enjoy the community events.

Op - I do think marketing stuff for ‘the community’ is helpful. We do a massive village free bbq every year with bouncy castle and games etc. people love it!