London - people who move to outer areas expected to travel

[isatha]

Has anyone else noticed this? We moved from Zone 2 to Zone 3/4 borders in South London (Wims).

Lots of our friends are urbanites and live in Z1, some in Bloomsbury, some Covent Garden, some City.

Whenever we suggest meeting up or going to a bar, the Z1 friends always assume we will travel into London itself. They never offer to come out to us, even though there are loads of nice bars nearby. Anyone noticed this?

Not really - but I can see if living in the West End or Bloomsbury, Wimbledon will seem like the far end of the earth.

Yes, happened to me with one friend. Have grey rocked for this exact reason.

We had family in Richmond and they always expected us to travel to them even when we were travelling in from North of London on an overland train. It’s such a cheek!

I think this applies wherever you move to. It's not a London thing. If I lived in Little Hamham and all my friends were there, then I moved to Little Famfam twenty miles away, I would visit Hamham regularly to see my friends. If they wanted to come and visit my new area I'd be pleased, but I wouldn't expect it. It was me that chose to move away and make meeting up more difficult and expensive, so I should bear it.

But surely if they are suggesting somewhere central they are travelling too? Unless they live in Bloomsbury and are suggesting Marchmont St?
Suggest somewhere right by the terminus you travel in to but nowhere near their house.

It's probably because you too used to live more central so the norm for you all was to meet up in zone 1 somewhere. I think unless you are inviting them to your home it won't even cross their minds that they should travel out to zone 3 or 4 to meet up.

Can you meet somewhere in the middle? I live in Hampshire and friends and some family live in South London. We meet up in Wimbledon.

My friendship group is split 80% in Manhattan and 20% in Brooklyn. We meet once or twice a week, and the 20% always travels to the 80% unless there’s a specific event we’re all going to in Brooklyn (which, tbf, happens a reasonable amount because the best raves are in Brooklyn).

I think you just have to accept that people choose to live centrally because they value time and convenience and are unlikely going to want to travel far just to socialise when they have so many options on their doorstep.

Could you move back to Zone 1?

I think that if you're the one to move away then it's reasonable that you should travel back to meet up. Unless people specifically want to make the trip out to you.

Presumably this is because you used to live where your friends still live so the norm is to meet in the same old familiar places. If it really bothers you, instead of suggesting a generic meeting, arrange something specific “Friends, would you like to meet us for dinner in the Womble Arms, we would love to show you our favourite local”.
FWIW, I live in central London and really couldn’t be bothered to trek down to Wimbledon very often. I’d do it for an occasion like a birthday, but it would never be my choice to travel out just for a casual meet up.

I’ll go to zone 4 SW London if I’m going to a friend’s house for dinner, or if it’s their birthday. But I really can’t be bothered to travel that far just to try their neighbourhood wine bar. Likewise if people schlep out to me I will make a big effort hosting - or if I can’t host at home then I’ll pick up the tab at the local restaurant.

Why not split the difference and suggest meeting around Waterloo?

My friends live all over London. We tend to find the South Bank and thereabouts makes a good venue for a meet up because it's pretty acccessible from most parts of London. None of us lives particularly near the South Bank but it's a reasonable journey time for all of us.

As a lifelong Londoner who has lived in various zones, never in my life have I schlepped across town to go to a bar.

If you’re inviting me to your house yes, bar no.

My cousin lives in King’s Cross and refuses to leave Zone 1 unless she’s leaving the country.

I dont find Wimbledon particularly inspiring as a night out. The village maybe but then you need a bus from the station or it is a 15 minute walk.

The areas around the station is crap. The Broadway is uninspiring

Id not want to go there either. Z1 has so much more to do.

Yes, because no one wants to schlep on the bus/train/tube for an hour just to go to an overpriced neighbourhood cafe/bar/restaurant. Most people will want to meet up centrally, especially if you meet in a group and most of your friends live in zone 1 (which I'm very jealous of!).

Because central London is fun and glam and suburbia is not...

We had the opposite - schlepping out to the arse end of nowhere when we lived in Bloomsbury. Was worth it to see our mates though.

a friend of mine once came to see me in Ealing Common and as we got out of the tube station she said ‘you live in the countryside!’

Exactly. I will trek to Sydenham for a dinner party but not to sample the local wine bars.

We either meet central, travel to each others houses or meet somewhere convenient after work. Give & take across both parties although we are all Londoners to used to being spread out/travelling to each other.

It’s a London thing. I’ve worked for the BBC and the Civil Service in the north west of England and god forbid they would ever come up to a meeting here. I have to get a local train to my city station and then an Avanti train to Euston and then a tube. Total journey time door to door 4.5hrs. And then do it to get home. Every. Single. Time.

@AzureRoselots of great restaurants in Wimbledon. I mean unless you are bar hopping (ugh) then just as good a selection as your average street in London.
But OP you moved, so they’ll expect you to travel.

The mere fact that you refer to the place as ‘Wims’ would give me a reason not to visit.

It's relative, though, isn't it? I don't particularly like wimbledon. I wouldn't say it has great restaurants.Quite frankly.

Maybe you like it but I don't. I wouldn't travel for a night out to wimbledon and im fairly local. If I lived in central london certainly not.