London - people who move to outer areas expected to travel

[isatha]

Has anyone else noticed this? We moved from Zone 2 to Zone 3/4 borders in South London (Wims).

Lots of our friends are urbanites and live in Z1, some in Bloomsbury, some Covent Garden, some City.

Whenever we suggest meeting up or going to a bar, the Z1 friends always assume we will travel into London itself. They never offer to come out to us, even though there are loads of nice bars nearby. Anyone noticed this?

You moved. They didn't.

Meet in the middle. Wimbledon is a trek.

I lived in London for 12 years and went to Wimbledon once. That was enough for me. Nothing special and not my vibe.

I did used to schlep to Wandsworth Common (Z3?) a fair bit though, for Chez Bruce - one of my favourite restaurants in London 👌

Are you meeting up with one person or a group?

Even in zone 1, if one is in Notting hill and the other in tower gateway (say) that’s a decent amount of travel, so meeting at the centre of the centre 😀 will probably be the norm.

I’m in a couple of minds about this. I live in central London but rarely go to bars these days because I’m in my mid / late forties.

I have had a few people move out and I’m happy to travel to them. A couple won’t come back into London because they’d rather be where they are or they don’t want to leave the dog.

I don’t know Wimbledon at all although I have heard it is nice. Presumably you have fun places to go? I would get a bit irritated to travel for an hour+ to go to the sort of places that seem to exist in any High Street. A few months ago my husband went to Mayfair to meet friends in Côte - that is a bit like schlepping to Soho to go to Bill’s.

I've found the person who moves is usually the one who compromises more often with location when meeting. Just the way it's worked with my friendship group over the years.

Makes sense if the majority of a friendship group still live in the more central location but isn't fair if it's just a small meet up. That said my friend lived in Catford for some time a decade ago and wanted any excuse possible to come back North.

We also had a friend back in our uni days who rented a room is Bayswater but her landlady was rarely there and happy for my mate to have a few people over so we used to decamp to the lovely, big, posh house on the otherside of London whenever we got invited.

Create ny relations. You don't have to travel either.
If you can't take turns maybe it's not that important to maintain the relationship.

I moved put to Z6 (admittedly we'd all been z2/z3 rather than z1) and it was like I had moved to the moon! I did the travelling in, and even then I'd get complaints because I'd remain sober so I could drive home. But it was worth it to retain the friendships. And then surprise, surprise when they all started buying property, they had to move out of london entirely and suddenly z6 was a dream....

That made me laugh because my best friend lives in Soho, hates leaving it, and moans about having to travel to my flat. Basically all he has to do is cross Charing Cross Road to get to it!
I really wouldn't be arsed to go to Wimbledon though, I went there a couple of years ago (to the New Wimbledon Theatre) and the journey felt endless.

OP do you suggest meeting at a third location or invite them down closer to you? If I have a preference I try to get in quickly to suggest a location so no one has the chance to assume anything.

”I thought maybe we could meet at xyz (somewhere about halfway between the two locations), I wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to schlep all the way out here.”

I do offer to meet friends near their home some of the time and they do the same for me.