HELP! What to wear to a funeral

[DilemmaDelilah]

Context:

I am 65. The funeral is for the 85 year old husband of a rarely seen in recent years cousin of my mother's.

Altogether I think I met him 2 or 3 times...but I was invited (and went) to the ceilidh they had for their wedding reception (they were a very mature couple).

I have a smart black outfit, but I'm not sure if that would be too much, given that I didn't know him that well. I would be going to show my love and respect for my cousin, rather than out of overwhelming grief.

If I don't wear the black outfit I do have a pair of smart grey trousers and a darker grey top I could wear. My husband will be taking me as I'm not allowed to drive, and he has a very smart black suit he will be wearing.

Do I wear the black outfit? Or do I wear grey?

It's February and you'll have your coat on for most of it, wear the grey trousers and top if you're comfortable in those, your best coat, and a big colourful scarf over the top of that.

I wouldn't worry, I know it can feel like a bit of a rules minefield, but I don't think in this case you've anything to worry about.

Thank you all for your input. I have had a further communication saying 'Sombre colours, not necessarily black' so NOT colours.

I have decided I am going to wear my smart grey trousers and grey tunic with my black coat. I won't be worrying about whether things are comfortable, whether they are smart enough, having to wear tights, uncomfortable shoes etc. I know my trousers are comfortable and the right length. The tunic is smart and comfortable and will cover zip mishaps should there be any, and I can wear my favourite smart and comfortable Vivaia black ankle boots. All topped with a smart black coat I have had for 20 years and that only gets used for funerals (it still looks great!). I will take a colourful silk scarf in my pocket just in case the second lot of information was wrong, and a spare coloured tie for DH who will otherwise be wearing a black one.

So - all sorted! I do overthink things as I feel very uncomfortable if I am unprepared.

Sounds perfect and the back up scarf and tie are sensible