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Original poster

Anyone experienced a friend like this?

50 replies

Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:08

Met a friend for breakfast today. She is quite flaky as in I could hear from her every day for a week and then not for months. She has ADHD which she talks about constantly. Thats fine if a little irritating as prior to her own diagnosis she used to describe autistic children as 'just naughty' and that autism was an 'excuse'.

Anyway met today. She ran into my husband yesterday in the shops and he mentioned hes doing a masters. She basically interrogated me today on why he is doing that and why I have gone back to college myself. The questions were hard and fast and like nothing that would normally come up in conversation over breakfast. I kept trying to change the subject and she kept bringing it back.

examples,

Why do we want better jobs, you already have good jobs?

Why do you take your kids on so many holidays. They wont remember them (they are 14 & 11!)

Are you going to buy a bigger house, if so why, there's only 4 of you?

Your husband wirks abroad alot, aren't you worried your marriage will fail?

It was non stop!! Should I just ditch her? She text after saying we should do it again soon but honestly i just felt i defended my life choices for 2 hours before the Manager asked us to leave (table was booked and tbh I was relieved!)

Thanks for reading!!

OP posts:
kiwiane · 02/02/2026 22:09

Yes!

Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:14

kiwiane · 02/02/2026 22:09

Yes!

Did you ditch him/her? I honestly feel drained after it 😂🙈

OP posts:
crazeekat · 02/02/2026 22:20

She’s insecure and is thinking of herself and is this something she should be doing?

FasterMichelin · 02/02/2026 22:22

I don’t know. How close are you? Is she usually like this or a one off?

It sounds like she’s perhaps envious of your position and wonders why you should get more, is her lifestyle as good as yours? Does she have access to promotions etc?

If she’s just feeling particularly hormonal or stressed, I’d probably let it slide. But if it’s a regular thing, I’d drop the friendship. They’re supposed to be positive relationships, not a drag.

FlowerFlour · 02/02/2026 22:23

I used to have an acquaintance like this and I found her very overstimulating. I'd leave conversations feeling like I'd just been interrogated under a spotlight. What worked with her was flipping the script so you quick fire questions at her. The best defence is good offense after all.

I'd ask things like "Why did your mum move to that house? What did your boss say about that issue? Do you think you and your husband will be together forever?" Terrifyingly rude in conversation with anybody else, but she enjoyed conversations like that, and it stopped her from grilling me.

Edited to add: this person was an acquaintance I regularly had to spend time with so I had to create coping techniques. I wouldn't have chosen her as a friend, so if your friend is always like this, maybe rethink the friendship.

TalkingShrub · 02/02/2026 22:27

Yet again that perennial mystery, the ‘friend’ an OP thoroughly dislikes.

Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:39

FasterMichelin · 02/02/2026 22:22

I don’t know. How close are you? Is she usually like this or a one off?

It sounds like she’s perhaps envious of your position and wonders why you should get more, is her lifestyle as good as yours? Does she have access to promotions etc?

If she’s just feeling particularly hormonal or stressed, I’d probably let it slide. But if it’s a regular thing, I’d drop the friendship. They’re supposed to be positive relationships, not a drag.

In the past no but this is the second such encounter. I suppose she has always been opinionated which is fine, I dont mind that but honestly this was just so intense, I actually went straight after to meet a different friend who doesnt know her and spent the first 10 minutes 'coming down' from the breakfast chat!

OP posts:
Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:40

She actually runs her own business.

OP posts:
Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:41

TalkingShrub · 02/02/2026 22:27

Yet again that perennial mystery, the ‘friend’ an OP thoroughly dislikes.

I didnt dislike her/dont dislike her but found her behaviour quite overpowering today and if I'm honest actually a little concerning. She seemed almost manic to me

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 02/02/2026 22:43

Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:41

I didnt dislike her/dont dislike her but found her behaviour quite overpowering today and if I'm honest actually a little concerning. She seemed almost manic to me

Show quote history

Maybe she is manic.

And you're going to ditch a her because of that...what does that say about you?

Shrinkhole · 02/02/2026 22:45

Over done the amphetamines?

Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:47

NuffSaidSam · 02/02/2026 22:43

Maybe she is manic.

And you're going to ditch a her because of that...what does that say about you?

Show quote history

No thats exactly the point I am making. Her behaviour was annoying but also concerning. I am not a Psychiatrist but do work in healthcare. She might just have a massive bee in her bonnet about my life choices! 🤷‍♀️ which i had to defend over two hours 🙈

OP posts:
CantBreathe90 · 02/02/2026 22:48

If you like her as a friend, I'd be kind but blunt and ask whether there was anything going on as she seems stressed / restless.

If you don't really get on as you have different energies, nothing wrong with letting the friendship drift either.

I know a few ADHD people and yes they are very chatty indeed! I quite like it, as I've never had a dull chat with them, but some other find it a bit much.

My partner also has a relatively new diagnosis of ADHD (couple of years) and the meds make him a bit extra, even on top of his usual chattiness. But on the rare occasion it gets too much, we're close enough I can just say "Not being funny "Bob" but could you pipe down for five minutes " and he laughs and goes to do something else.

Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 22:49

Shrinkhole · 02/02/2026 22:45

Over done the amphetamines?

Possibly that too! She did say she is on ADHD meds, maybe they are not agreeing with her

OP posts:
2old4thispoo · 02/02/2026 22:51

NuffSaidSam · 02/02/2026 22:43

Maybe she is manic.

And you're going to ditch a her because of that...what does that say about you?

Show quote history

Op's not responsible for her 'friend'.

Not engaging with this person would be considered by some to show the Op has boundaries and can choose who she socialises with.

@Travelfairy maybe your friend was just having a bad day but seriously, you don't need to justify to anyone how or why your family make choices.

Shrinkhole · 02/02/2026 22:54

But why would you listen to it for 2 hours. I’d have said after 10 mins ‘Why all the qs can we talk about something else?’ then if she doesn’t stop ‘Look I am really not comfortable with this conversation it feels like an interview seriously can we talk about something else?’ And finally ‘I’m sorry I am not sure what’s the problem today but I leaving now.’ Thirty mins would be my maximum tolerance of rude annoying conversation and probably less.

Sohelpmegod25 · 02/02/2026 22:56

I’ve known people like that before and you need to distance then ditch them! Nobody need to be interrogated over breakfast it’s
just too draining!!!!

Bluddyellfire · 02/02/2026 22:58

I've got an old friend that I've had to distance myself from because her being so very 'extra' all the time absolutely sets me off. All the drama and entirely preventable catastrophes really get a bit much. And she talks over/ at me and argues with me about the medical stuff I've got going on. Like you I asked myself if it was her being too much or me not coping with her, but when I realised how anxious I was getting about proposed meet ups etc I knew I had to just sort of let the friendship slide. I feel bad, but she does it to herself and she's just been too much for me for years. I hope your friend is just going through some stuff right now and will settle down. It's horrible dumping a friend but if it's too costly emotionally I think sometimes it's got to be done.

AsMyGranWouldSay · 02/02/2026 22:58

I dunno...that didn’t sound like just a lot of questions..more like criticism thinly disguised as "questions" maybe disguising envy?
It's like with humble bragging, the disingenuousness gets tiring very quickly.

But maybe I'm just irritable after a day with a humble bragger.
Could well be meds.

Sky1977 · 02/02/2026 23:18

I’d be so tired after being in her company lol 😴
how long have you been friends ? Is she often like this ? It could be adhd medication isn’t suitable for her, could you not point this out to her that she seemed manic and ask about her medication etc,

Original poster
Travelfairy · 02/02/2026 23:19

2old4thispoo · 02/02/2026 22:51

Op's not responsible for her 'friend'.

Not engaging with this person would be considered by some to show the Op has boundaries and can choose who she socialises with.

@Travelfairy maybe your friend was just having a bad day but seriously, you don't need to justify to anyone how or why your family make choices.

Show quote history

Thank you. I needed to hear this

OP posts:
Shedeboodinia · 02/02/2026 23:21

Ok, so I don't have friends like this as I actively avoid these kinds of people.

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 02/02/2026 23:53

FlowerFlour · 02/02/2026 22:23

I used to have an acquaintance like this and I found her very overstimulating. I'd leave conversations feeling like I'd just been interrogated under a spotlight. What worked with her was flipping the script so you quick fire questions at her. The best defence is good offense after all.

I'd ask things like "Why did your mum move to that house? What did your boss say about that issue? Do you think you and your husband will be together forever?" Terrifyingly rude in conversation with anybody else, but she enjoyed conversations like that, and it stopped her from grilling me.

Edited to add: this person was an acquaintance I regularly had to spend time with so I had to create coping techniques. I wouldn't have chosen her as a friend, so if your friend is always like this, maybe rethink the friendship.

Edited

I think I can be like this but it’s because the person I’m with won’t ask questions or keep the conversation going. It’s hard work as the person leading the conversation. I’m actually very introverted and definitely not over the top but often it feels like I’m the only one trying. Many folk love to talk about themselves so they sit back and enjoy annoyingly.

JLou08 · 03/02/2026 00:38

It sounds like she is interested in you and in the reasons for your decisions. It wouldn't bother me. It sounds pretty typical for a conversation with someone who has ADHD.

Beesandhoney123 · 03/02/2026 01:12

Two hours for breakfast! Two hours!

Then on to another friend! I say, you're a glutton for punishment:)

You don't have to answer questions you don't want to, from ' how old are you ?' To why do you want a bigger house?' You have to ask questions back, deflect.

If she has to ask all these questions she's not really a friend as such. She is trying to catch up on years of knowing you. You dont want to share. Seems to me its an acquaintance really.

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