Does anyone else have a noticeable scar/mark/difference and feel very unbothered by it?

[Spoony4]

I was scalded as a child. It’s very obvious on my upper limbs, shoulder, neck etc. often, very often in fact, I get asked about it but always in a way that implies it must be awful for me to have this. I even remember when getting photos done at school the photographer would sit in in a way to try to conceal it, telling me explicitly that they wee trying to hide it.
I also get comments like “couldn’t they do something about it”
it really doesn’t bother me, in fact I wouldn’t be without it now, it’s very much a part of my body.

Yes, me. Similar to you, stretching from shoulder to palm of hand. Couldn’t care less and has never affected any part of my life.

Not me, but I have known a lot of people with visible scars/deformities and differences (scald marks like you, birth marks, facial deformities from accidents or birth 'defects', glass eyes!) who never mention it and seem perfectly fine with who they are and what they look like.

I have a burn scar on my neck and shoulder - only sees the light of day in summer and most people advise me I’ve caught the sun. Doesn’t bother me.

I have numerous scars from neglectful parents.
I genuinely couldn't care less, they are part of my life story and I am so proud of who I am today and what I have had to live through to be the person I am today.

As a teen/young woman, less so, but with age comes wisdom.

I have a very obvious protruding, dark, mole at the end of my nose. I used to try to disguise it with makeup when I was younger, less confident, but don’t wear much makeup now.

Very forward people, not many over the last 50 odd years, sometimes ask why I don’t just get rid of it. I usually just laugh, say it must bother them more than me and don’t they think it’s a bit rude to mention as it is obviously something I know about as I see it every time I look in the mirror! Or I have said is there any other cosmetic surgery you’d like me to get, maybe hoick the boobs up a bit as they badly need it too?

Not your question I realise, but I developed stretch marks on my thighs, bum and breasts from age 12. I absolutely hated them. My mum even took me to the GP to ask what they were. I was the only one in swimming lessons with them and other children would point at them. In my early 20's I even had a female GP ask how many children I'd breastfed due to the marks on my breasts! I have no children. I tried all manner of creams, oils and looked into laser therapy.
I've learnt to live with them and in my late 40's now, but I did always just want normal, smooth skin.

I have a facial scar from abuse in childhood. I hated it for years as it was a visual prompt for people to tilt their heads at me (you know the head tilt of which I speak)

Now it has status for me, as a mark of a survivor, a two fingered fuck-you to the person who pushed me.

I have an obvious scar from surgery on my neck during my 40s, and people have made multiple different suggestions on how to hide it without me ever saying I want to hide it. I’m totally comfortable with it being part of me but I’m middle aged now. I’m not sure I would have been so comfortable with it when I was more vain and in my twenties.

I have a large protruding mole on my face, actually given as a distinguishing mark on my passport. It isn't disfiguring, so I don't mind it. The curious thing is that I don't notice it when I look in the mirror.

Not the same as yours, OP, (and good on all of you for not giving a damn about the scars & scalds) but I've got crooked & gappy teeth. People have told me it wouldn't cost much to get them fixed, especially these days. I used to be a bit embarrassed & not knowing what to say - embarrassed for them I mean, I knew I'd never get my teeth fixed. These days I just say "what do you mean?" and let them stew in their embarrassment. Fuck people!

What a considered post. I too have internal and external scars caused by a traumatic event. If people notice I normally say it’s a long story and I don’t know you well enough.

I am recovering from major surgery at the moment and when out and about am bandaged up and crutches etc and I must be asked at least twice on any trip out by random people what have you done then? As though I have had accident and it’s a funny story that I want to share. No thanks I’m on morphine and it’s caused permanent damage.

I have a large H shaped scar on my left clavicle and 3 gunshot wounds in various places of my left side of body. I absolutely don't care about them and forget they are there until someone asks (in the same way I don't see my freckles when I look in the mirror) I'm very grateful to be alive so yep right there with you OP.

I have a harry potter style scar between my eyebrows from glass, only really shows if my face is tanned as its old now, and ive got a scar on my arm from being slashed with scissors, that doesnt bother me either.
They're both just there and i dont think about them.

same. Had mine on breasts from puberty and really upset me. Couldn't wear anything low cut. Then when early twenties they started to get much worse with many more appearing. Distressed me horribly. Felt like a freak.
Turned out I had a benign tumour on my pituitary gland which was affecting my hormone prolatin which was massively high (as if I was breastfeeding pretty much). Combined with large breasts anyway I was a mess of scars.

Anyway I couldn't count them now if I tried there are so many. None on my stomach. Since then I have put on weight and I have them on my arms, butt etc but much as I don't appreciate these either I feel like I 'earned' these or 'caused' these whereas the breast ones are really disfiguring and I couldn't control them at all.

It is known now that high cortisol levels also contribute to stretch marks (the stress hormones) and it may be what caused some of the puberty ones alongside the growing of course (abusive and stressful childhood)

I'm sort of glad I am over 50 now as my body is starting to look more 'appropriate' for my age.

Final kick in the teeth around early twenties also got told it would be difficult to have children due to health (not impossible but difficult). So having a sky high breastfeeding hormone (plus milk/discharge from nipples) when I probably wasn't going to be having a baby just felt like rubbing salt in the wound.

I once asked a nurse about them and she said 'Oh yes so you do' almost joyfully like it was a good piece of gossip when I asked her about them. Felt like a freak and was just a young girl.

Anyway I know it sounds trivial compared to what some people go through but I already had poor mental health due to childhood and this just made it worse.

Hugs to you. You are not alone.

p.s. sorry realised the thread was supposed to be for people who were not bothered by their scars but I just wanted to answer this one poster so she knew she was not alone.

Following with interest. DD was born with a birth ‘defect’ (cleft lip). It goes without saying i’m always curious how scars have affected women growing up/in their life, and whether parents can build enough resilience and confidence for it to not bother them too much.

I have a massive scar on my wrist. It looks like I tried to top myself. In fact I cut it badly as a toddler when I fell over and it was badly sewn up. Can't remember ever feeling self conscious about it as it's always been there. It weeded out creeps at parties in my teens and twenties though, who would see it and want to know all about it - preying on what they thought might be an unhappy and vulnerable girl.

Yes I have a large scar/ hole in a limb from cancer surgery and a graft. It didn’t heal well so it’s not a neat scar. I’ve got more used to it over the years.
I’m not super body confident and annoyingly it’s on one of my body parts that I did really like 🙈

I have a huge scar on my shoulder from where I had open surgery , it’s very obvious in teh summer wearing anything strappy . It doesn’t bother me at all . My late mum had a similar scar slightly off shoulder on her arm which had a huge lump out of it , looked like she’d been bitten by something big and that never bothered her . It is what it is .

Not quite the same but I have one eye that points outwards, I was born with a bad squint that couldn't be corrected properly, I forget about it and then realise sometimes that people don't know where I am looking

Yes, my legs and back are covered in surgery scars from a bad car accident. I don’t even think about it and never try to hide them

I have a birth mark smack right in my face. Every now and then I go through a phase of wanting it removed but it just never bothers me enough.

I have a scar on my cheek from an abscess as a teenager. It was removed and stitched up but is still clearly visible nearly 30 years later! I used to hate it but I don’t care now, I’ve had it for longer than I was without.

I have really bag legs and arms. I have thin skin and 6 times now the skin has been de-gloved and I have had to have stiches. The last time it happened I couldn't get to A&E and I did a home job on my calf with a pair of tweezers and bits of plasters to try and put it back together again.

Needless to say, my legs and arms are shocking. In the summer they never brown and I look like a burns victim and they are bumpy and ugly and totally scarred.

But do I hide them away? Do I buggery. They are my limbs and they work .... I'm thankful for them.

My Dc has a lower limb difference - missing fibula so very thin leg, big shoe raise, knee length splint which doesn't hide huge scars from repeated surgery.

They never try and hide it, wear shorts etc, very matter of fact about it. Doesn't get upset about the reactions of people whose values you have no time for.

People are usually sensible and respectful. Went through primary and secondary school with no problems. No bullying or teasing, despite also not being able to run at any speed etc. In fact when a supply PE teacher at the non-leafy S London comprehensive hadn't clocked it and had a bit of a yell about 'try harder' the whole class turned round and shouted 'you can't say that!'