Does anyone else have a noticeable scar/mark/difference and feel very unbothered by it?

[Spoony4]

I was scalded as a child. It’s very obvious on my upper limbs, shoulder, neck etc. often, very often in fact, I get asked about it but always in a way that implies it must be awful for me to have this. I even remember when getting photos done at school the photographer would sit in in a way to try to conceal it, telling me explicitly that they wee trying to hide it.
I also get comments like “couldn’t they do something about it”
it really doesn’t bother me, in fact I wouldn’t be without it now, it’s very much a part of my body.

I have a ‘lump’ out of a limb and decades on it is just part of who I am. It can be a conversation starter too sometimes (it’s often covered just with normal daywear).
A friend has a quite large area of scaring on their torso, from burns as a toddler. Their mum was fabulous and brought them up thinking of this as a unique attribute and that one day it’ll help them find the right person who’ll adore it (at an appropriate age this turned into seeing it as a possible erogenous zone).

Got a 5 inch scar at the front of my neck that looks like I was garrotted, OH loves telling people I was in the Marines/ female James Bond equivalent if they ask out of turn haha

Yes, I have a scar on my lip from having my lip split quite badly by a man when I was 18. I've had loads of comments on it over the years, including a friend asking if I've considered lip filler to try to hide it (not sure if that would even work). But no, I find it odd tbh that other people seem more bothered by it than I am. I forget it's even there until someone mentions it.

My dh has a deep and long very obvious scar on his forehead, which even shows on photographs. It is a forceps scar from his life-or-death birth 61 years ago. People sometimes ask about it and are interested to hear the story. He never thinks about it himself and those of us who see him every day don't even notice it.

I had a boyfriend who had a red birth mark across his face and neck. I once said to him how come you always walk on my left, as he'd always move, and he said he couldn't really see out of his left eye. I just said oh I see! Didn't bother me in the slightest. He was the one that got away.

@GiantYorkshirePudcongratulations on your precious DD, she clearly has a wonderful mother to be thinking about this stuff. I have hemifacial microsomia and accompanying deafness on one side, and sadly my parents gave absolutely zero time or attention to building my resilience or confidence! My mother once said several years ago ‘perhaps we should have talked about it’. But they never did.

I grew up, had a lovely group of friends at my all girls senior school, went to Oxbridge (I think having what I have meant I was never really the type for lots of party going, leaving plenty of time for being very studious 😂), actually met and married a man (great excitement), and we have been together over twenty years and have fantastic children of our own, who do not have any of the issues that I have. I am very happy, and it’s bothered me less as time has gone on.

I’m sure there will be challenges for your DD, and the operations and constant Drs and worry she will have to a greater or lesser extent about her looks. But she will be great. She’s got you, and modern first world healthcare, and the sky is her limit.