How has Covid affected your kids?

[glassbottle55]

I thought my DS aged 13 and and DD aged 11 got through Covid OK and weren't at such tricky ages when it happened - Year 3 and Year 1. But more and more I'm thinking perhaps they were more affected than I thought. They happily default to Covid type days of PJs and TV and it can be hard to get them out for activities. Small things overwhelm them. Perhaps this is normal for the age but it's hard not to think Covid might have had an impact.

Mine are 19 and 17 but I’d say it hasn’t really affected them to be honest.

Mine are older, early twenties so one had left home, and one was in six form.

The main impact I see is on my younger one and his approach to work, although the working world has also changed. He has a full time job, part wfh, part office. He’s a lot more casual about starting and finishing times. He doesn’t slack, but is a lot more laissez-faire then I am.

My dd was mid teens during Covid, and it really, really affected her during and for a time after, but I would say that since she went to uni, she is completely back to “normal” and unaffected

Mine are the same age as yours and while it was very difficult at the time I don’t think it has affected them at all in the long term.

DS 17 became very introverted and socially isolated. Transitioning to high school was a dreadful experience and the lack of online learning in Scotland was appalling. it’s had long term effects.

DD13 did fine. She was under 12 at the time so largely unaffected by restrictions- no masks, could go out to play - so she had the best time and no long term issues

Mine are 14 and 11 now and tbh don’t think it has affected them really.
In fact they have spent more time with us since covid than they would have if it never happened- like my DH was never able to do school pickups before WFH being more common.

My youngest was in reception class at the time so it took her a while to settle back into full time school, but she still talks about when she had a “small desk” (it was a small coffee table!) next to mine to do her schoolwork wile I was working, so she has mainly positive memories of a time that for me was extremely stressful and difficult!

Now aged 20 and 18. Didn’t affect them at all. If anything, I think it was a positive thing for my eldest. She’s autistic and struggled at school with making friends. The break from having to mask all day was probably really good for her.

At your DC’s ages their change in behaviour is likely to be their recent transition towards and into secondary school, and that they’re approaching / entering puberty and have new hormones surging around, and new challenges and feelings they can’t always explain as a result. Which isn’t to say that the dramatic changes and uncertainties which came during lockdowns didn’t have an impact on many children, but that if you’re worried about them I’d focus on the here and now first.

My older DC was one when we went into lockdown, she’s benefitted hugely from DH wfh, then hybrid then fully remote again in a different job and being around before and after school. I changed jobs completely and work for myself around her. Neither of those things would have happened before Covid.

She took a while to relax around other people once the first very hard lockdown was over as she’d only seen us and the postman for months and I made a big effort to socialise her but no longterm harm.

17 and 14 and I don’t think it had any effect at all.

My older two, 18 and 16, not at all. My youngest 12, y7 - hugely. And while it was all happening I thought we had managed to mitigate the damage for him in particular.

Not at all. She was only 1.

Mine are 20,18,15 and 13.

The eldest was impacted in that I don't think he achieved the GCSE grades that were fair and was massively disadvantaged by them. His school opted to do actual exams but crammed them into two weeks and offered very little in the way of learning support over COVID. It still makes me angry.

I don't think the others were impacted at all.

Mine were 10 and 8 at the start. I feel like it was a good age for it - not too young so I was able to WFH (p/t) with them there, not too old so easier to be separated from friend groups.

Oldest started high school that year and although it was an odd year, it was fine.

My 14yo (now Yr10)... it was a break she needed. We were on the verge of school refusal, she couldn't keep up academically etc and we were considering hone education. The six month break just reset everything... she caught up working at her own pace, all her anxiety disappeared etc.

My 12yo (Yr8)... unfortunately she had long term emotional effects. She completely lost trust in pretty much everything. Refused to have friends for a few years. Thought she was stupid as as there was gaps in her maths (as she did not engage in the few work sheets sent home).
Fortunately, I say she's 90% better now. She's started trusting friendships. Even had her first failed "relationship". Still got massive self doubt.

At the time, it affected them in not being able to see friends and socialise etc as they were teens, but now I think it’s fine. Eldest was doing GCSEs so could probably have got better grades actually sitting the exams, but was happy enough with the grades they were given.
I agree with the poster above who says 11 and 13 are the kind of ages where kids will start pulling away from you. They won’t want to do as many family outings or activities and will most likely prefer to see friends or slob around at home having lazy days. Don’t underestimate how intense secondary school is.

I have a 15, 13 and 8-year-old. I'd say not very affected at all. Eldest missed her year 6 residential and couldn't have any in-person transitions to high school, and didn't do SATS. That's about it, really.

My mum was quite affected by it and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a while, which they were aware of, but were ok.

I worked at their primary school at the time and DH ran his own business from home. So when the lockdowns were stricter they were at home with DH while I worked, then as they eased a little they came in to school when I worked, and then even when I didn't. (We were in 'teams', one week on one week off to keep staff apart). Youngest carried out at preschool throughout once the worst lockdowns were past.

In fairness, we live in an area that was barely touched by COVID for the majority of it.

22 and 20 now. Not affected at all. In fact they have great memories they say.
Im a nurse and can’t say the same

I honestly feel so lucky my kids are young enough to have no memory of it. My eldest had a speech delay that could have been linked.

Most people I know were affected through an elderly parent, couldn’t see them, or were afraid to.

You can tell there was a generational impact especially in the then mid teens, they’re now 18,19,20,21 and you can absolutely see a difference in behaviour, personality, their social awkwardness compounded of course by overuse of screens and social media.

They navigate the world around them very differently, a mass introversion if you like. I was far more independent and streetwise at that age it’s hard to imagine that ever being the case with the covid cohort.

That is not my experience at all. My 20 and 18 year old are gregarious and sociable. I don't see that with their friends either.

My DD is 14 and I’d say definitely affected but coming out of the other side now. Her father and I both key workers and had to work all the way through with minimal exceptions.
Her Gran was terminally ill during this period and we could not see her as often as we would have liked due to lockdowns and during her last days we could not see her due to strict rules about visiting - while Boris Johnston hosted parties with all his cronies present.
She didn’t have days baking banana bread and spending extra time with us, she had to attend various “school” settings with other key worker kids who she didn’t know in areas she was not familiar with.
She became anxious about her Dad and I catching covid which we did - more than once.
I feel she became quite disengaged with school despite their best efforts but now in S3 (Scotland) and doing reasonably well.
Not the best experience for her. Her resilience was tested at a very young age and she was definitely not ready for it.

16 year old is autistic and was transitioning to secondary school. It had a big impact on her social isolation, social skills and her mental health. She is only just starting to manage better now that she is in college.

14 year old not impacted much at all really, she didn't miss much school and could access online learning.

12 year old is also autistic and has emotional trauma from that time. He still gets upset whenever we are unwell because he saw his Dad taken away in an ambulance. DH was very unwell in hospital with Covid. His learning was also impacted because he couldn't access online learning. He also had multiple changes of school site over the Covid period and couldn't access the standard undifferentiated home learning provided in the first and second lockdown, so we were having to develop our own learning so that he didn't fall behind. Luckily in 2021 they made provision for him to be in school even when his siblings were online learning at home, which helped as DH and I were too unwell post-Covid infection to home school him.

Dd 11 was in reception and does not seem to have been affected by covid. However the wider impact of covid, specifically wfh, has had a huge positive impact on our family life. We both wfh ft since and have a massively better work life balance compared to pre 2020.

21 year old with Sen is STILL so anxious about germs and illness and still washing his hands etc. It's changed him long term for sure. 😢

7 year old was a toddler used to going out every day and having people in and out of the house. He then spent most of the year barely mixing with other kids, hardly going anywhere or doing anything. When we went back into the world he'd forgotten about crowds, lifts, escalators, people being in his personal space etc.

He still automatically doesn't like people in his personal space when he wasn't bothered before. Eg on a climbing frame or slide at the park he won't go on them if someone else gets on too. He also cannot tolerate noisy busy places which again he didn't care before lockdown.