My car died and I’m devastated - hand hold please

[whyyyyyisitmonddayy]

I’m being so ridiculous but keep in mind I’ve got a really bad kidney infection so I’m in a lot of pain. I can hardly walk.

My car died. Clutch went. It was a landrover nearing 20, had a name (from previous owner - on paperwork) and it was falling apart. It was my first car and gifted to me by my mum who had it for six years. She was a tricky thing to drive but she took me everywhere.

she was my freedom. I’m 21 and a student. I’d gone car camping in her. I did delivery driving from her. Saved my ass while hydroplaning, going through flood water, etc. I spent 100s of hours behind the Wheel. Getting drive through food by myself and parking up for some quiet. I’d repaired her road size and put away money to repair her failing turbo (her clutch went first and it was far too expensive to fix). I’d gone on holiday in her, slept in the back, she dropped my bags of for other holidays. Hell, she even dropped me off at school, at college, at uni…

I defended her when my boyfriend rightly told me she was a hunk of junk who needed to be scraped. She did. But I still cried when she broke down after her torque went.

im lucky enough im able to get another car but nothing is catching my eye. My life is falling apart and im barely holding it together already. And now my sweet old car is gone. it’s silly, but I loved the way she felt to drive. Terrible MPG though. I took such good care of her too.

Read it as cat. Quite relieved really.

Are you really that sensitive? What has the world become? How do people leave their houses? Or maybe they don’t.

A car dying is a common phrase and was exactly what I expected when opening the thread.

Poor little mites.

Yeah that's why I found it quite distasteful really, given how many MNetters ask for handholds when loved ones are dying.

The OP doesn't need a handhold because her car is beyond repair and she can't see anything else she fancies at the moment.

It's obviously disappointing for her though and a massive arse ache which is fair enough.

I really mourned my first car too. I was devastated. To me he was a cheeky chappy and I’d always put a rubber duck on his bonnet when giving him a wash. I cried so much when he “died”.

Allow yourself to grieve. Do you have any photos? Make a collage or get some pictures framed? There will be many cars but your first will always have a special place in your heart.

I get where you're coming from. My DS and I both cried when Bean the orange Skoda, which was our family car and then his first car, had to be taken away and scrapped, and the scrappy arrived early and said it was because the previous people had asked him to go back for their car after they'd gone out because they couldn't bear to see it leaving.

Distasteful how? Sorry op, when you have a car like that it hurts.

The poster you're pulling up isn't the one asking for a 'handhold' though, so probably not as sensitive as the OP?

I cried when my Hyundai coupe died, first car and only car I bought new. I feel your pain. Hope your kidney infection clears up soon, they suck

Should have driven it less OP - it would have lasted longer

Come on, really. Has the average adult age on MN suddenly plummeted?

🙄

I thought that was a typo, your cat had died.

Is it not salvageable at all? Gearboxes/clutches etc can be replaced and are usually cheaper than a whole new vehicle.

I'd look on eBay for the required part, parts are inexpensive compared to fixing rust. As long as it's still solid it can be fixed

Is it really cheaper to replace than repair? A recon gearbox and a new clutch will cost about 2K. It is a lot, but not as much as a new or newer car.

I’ve been unwell and offline all day

It’s needing £4k worth of repairs total which is far too much which is part of the upset

Needing a handhold because your car's fucked and you can't see anything you fancy?

Yes, it would seem so.

I mean, my mum died but I'm just not offended by the OP's thread title at all. Neither would my mum have been.

OP are you Robin Ellacott?

It is a car which was old. Plenty more cars to buy.
If you are catastrophising consider help

FfS! I thought car was a typo for cat at first and felt sympathetic but this is a bit pathetic imo. It’s a car, a heap of metal that’s all.

Thank you.

I’m sorry If ive offended anyone - my mechanic literally said “I’m sorry but she’s completely dead” so I figured it was fair enough language to use! I’m also possibly projecting onto my car. I’ve had an evil run of luck recently where it’ll always go “at least I have my health!” And I’ll get sick. Or “I still have (insert car name)” and she or “it” (I’ve only ever called it a she as it had a girly name!) completely and utterly broke down. Like I kept saving up for more and more repairs until I realised that ££££ on an old car is a silly and too sentimental of a move.

Part of it is that it was very sentimental and was a constant over the last few months. I’ve had some really horrific and traumatic things happen and suicidal thoughts ( due to all the other stuff, I’ve been in a horrible place). I’ve lost my home (couldn’t afford rent any more) and my health is falling apart. I was in my car working all night and it felt like a break from the real world. Just my lovely old car, who my boyfriend and I always called it by “her” name. I felt very safe in my car, too. From everything going on outside in the “real world” while I was fighting through PhD applications, barely sleeping to juggle my workload.

on fact, one of the best night sleeps I ever had (during this horrible time) was in the back of that car. The wind was shaking it, rain coming down, but I was safe and warm. I feel incredibly low due to everything else. And my car just feels like the straw that broke the camels back.

I understand op. This is a bit different but I'm disabled and use a mobility scooter. Around ten years ago i had to sell my very first one to buy a better one. As the buyer r put it into his van and drove away I actually sobbed! There was so much meaning associated with that scooter- I had freedom after being housebound for years thanks to it and somehow it was wrench to let go of all it meant at the time. Years later ive been through several without batting an eyelid, but none carried the same emotional weight as that first scooter as it gave me so much.

Ignore people who don't get your feelings and judge you. It's such a deeply personal thing but to me your emotions absolutely make sense. Your car meant a huge amount to you by association. And loss is so sad.

Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I’ve had my life fall apart and the car made it feel normal still. It’s tough losing something that represented my freedom. I work unsocial hours so the car was company. It was a constant. I’ll get over it obviously, but it’s more than a car at this point!

it was also very tricky to drive at times due to its dozens of issues. One fond memory of the wipers seizing every time we hit a bump in the road and cheering when they came back on.

obviously the next one won’t be so special.

Really kind to someone who is clearly in a bit of a distrsssing spot considering I’ve now lost my income and freedom.

you really are awful.