Money worries as child turns 18

[pootlepiglet]

So, to begin, I work full time and I earn above minimum wage and I have a house with a small mortgage.

I had a DV marriage, I divorced 5 years ago and I am a single parent to three children (12/15/17)

Ex does not pay child maintenance, it’s with the CMS and has been for years, he earns well but does it in a variety of cash and dividends paid to shareholders in his company. It’s complicated and this has been investigated via the forensic team through CMS, but they can’t prove it.
I am confident he will never be made to pay a penny and nor will he voluntarily (nor will he buy anything they need) and he doesn’t see any of them much, so it’s pretty much all on me.

There is no chance to take a second job, up hours, or get a job paying considerably more. We are rural (ish) as the houses were cheaper, and I can’t afford to move anywhere else, as this is already cheap. I have done everything I can to prepare us financially for the kids getting older. I’m on my knees already with my work and the responsibilities (eldest doesn’t drive yet either and there is one bus an hour so I’m also the taxi)

I get UC which is an ok amount and CB.

I am panicking about my child turning 18 and leaving school (doing A levels) as I have worked it out that with the loss of UC/CB and the 25% council tax discount I am going to be losing a fair amount of money.

Yes my child will get a job and pay into the house, but I’ve no idea what they are likely to be able to earn, or even how quickly they’ll get a job. Originally she wanted an Apprenticeship, and has applied for a few, but they’ve gone nowhere.
She currently works P/T so is likely going to end up temporarily waitressing and bar working as many hours as she can get until she works out next steps, either way, we aren’t talking above minimum wage so I can’t ask her to pay a great deal.

We aren’t particularly well off now as three children without any CMS has been a struggle, but we’ve managed. Now I’m going to take this hit financially and I’m quite worried.

I don’t really know how I’m going to do it going forward really.
I just wanted to stress about this out loud.

I don't know how UC works but would she be able to claim her own UC when she turns 18 if she's unemployed/only working part time?
Remember your next in age child will move up to get the higher amount of child benefit so you will be losing just one lot of the lower amount.

She will, I assume, but if I am honest, I hated the fact I needed to claim it when I divorced and I don’t really want her to do the same.

I have spent the last few years being reviewed and stressing over savings/earnings etc etc.

I would rather she didn’t get bogged down in being pushed to do more and more hours when she’s only just entered the working world

The thing that leaps out at me in all of this is that the eldest child really needs to get a full-time job as soon as possible after the system starts regarding her as an adult. However, a young person with minimal experience of the world of work probably doesn't have much idea about how to go about looking for and applying for jobs. Are you able to give her some help with this and take quite a "hands on" role in assisting with the job hunt?

I have been helping her. Unfortunately like a lot of 18 year olds she doesn’t know what she wants to do, doesn’t really get that it’s a lot of money to lose and believes that she will find a job she loves.

She already works P/T so does understand the need for work, but she isn’t leaving until later this year so we can’t really apply for much beyond apprenticeships, which everyone is going for and so competition is hugely stiff.

I do sympathise about competition for jobs being stiff. I have seen how hard it's been for my own DS. On the point about your DD not knowing what she wants to do, I would take a firm line that she should be applying for any jobs that she could do and that she stands a chance of getting. I would make the point that at her stage in life, any work experience is likely to be valuable, and that working in a job that isn't your dream job can often help you get clarity on what kind of job will suit you.

Where this mentality comes from: I don't want her getting pushed to do more and more hours.

How do you think the rest of us work and live

I am in a similar situation (although ill health retirement so not able to boost my income in any way).
When dc1 hit 18 they started applying for full time jobs in the may before college finished. Started a full time job in the July. Payed me some rent to help cover what I lost (but not all). Then saved like mad and bought a shared ownership home aged 20. I'd said that once the youngest hits 18 I'm going to have to sell up and I couldn't afford a bedroom each (especially as I need an adapted home on one level).
Dc2 and 3 will either be starting university or a degree apprenticeship in the next couple of years which is when it will really get difficult as I'll loose council tax help, water support scheme, because I loose uc I also loose help with nhs costs, winter fuel help etc. My plan is that I downsize and have sofa bed its not ideal but my only option. I've been honest with dc and they understand. I should be able to afford a small 2 bed bungalow and one will need to sleep in the lounge. This will probably be for 3/4 years but who knows.
Could you look at extending your mortgage at renewal? Would that help? I cant as they have got stricter about what income they use but it may help you.
My dc also know that once they turn 18 (and have left school) they pay for everything they need (except food, household bills which will be incorporated in their rent). Its not what i wanted for my dc but I didn't think I'd become a single disabled parent either. Can you talk to dc about what they will need to pay? What you expect them to cover. Help them understand the situation.

Once child benefit end for her (end of august) she needs to be earning enough to cover the extra costs, that seems doable if she’s already part time, she’s in a better position than those youngsters who have never worked

If she doesn’t know what she wants to do could she do a further year at college doing a one year vocational qualification?

If she’s remaining in non advanced education. You would continue to get CHB and UC. Plus check if then exempt from council tax for her ( sure you are).

It’ll give you breathing space. Do you rent or have a mortgage.

Thankyou for your input, and suggestion, I presume that she’s lazy.
shes already at school full time and working almost 16 hours a week at 17 however, I do not want her on UC, nor do I want her forced into care work or something she will hate, at 18, simply to comply with UC demands.

She comes from a working home, she works, your judgement of her is not needed

Yeah, I’m not 100% sure when her last day of school is, but I assume May time.
She will try to up her hours where she works now, but will likely end up waitressing or working in the local hotel whilst she works out what she wants to do.

It is hard, because I’d love to support us all while she sorted out where to go

I would have liked her to go to Uni, but she’s had enough (apparently) and wants to work for a year or so until a path becomes clear, be that Uni or an idea of a job she wants to do

but op 18 year olds not in education should be able to work full time

i am not sure but i thought cb ended on the 19th birthday?

Minimum wage really isn't bad and set to rise so hopefully even part time work would be enough to contribute. The job market is pretty dire at the moment though.

Child Benefit when your child turns 16 - GOV.UK

We tried a while ago to get her Supermarket work, as I felt it would be a good “in” when she left school.
She’s a bright girl, already in a forward facing role and she couldn’t even get past the first round of personality tests, which is something I’m hearing a lot.

It sure is tough out there

I didn’t say she shouldn’t? No where have I said o don’t want her working full time, what I have said is I don’t want her on UC and I want her to have control over where she works, rather than being forced onto a course or care work for £300 per month from UC

Yea this happened with my kids.
My eldest got a full time job is hospitality- it’s not where she wanted to be tbh but she needed to support herself. I didn’t take housekeeping money as such but pocket money obviously stopped and she took over payment of the gym, phone, any non grocery food she wanted.
She then went to uni which might be another option for your dd? If she’s living away from home she’ll get a full grant and it’s one less mouth to feed for you? During holidays she could work.
Tbh in the current climate people have to take whichever jobs are available
When DS left college he is unable to work due to disability so I took a second job.

I think she will only get £10 ph until 21

An 18 year old should be able to come with full time work. Should earn enough on minimum wage to pay half council tax and towards the bills and still have money left over.

I’m sorry OP, that sounds so tough.

I don’t have practical advice unfortunately - it’s scandalous how many men get away with paying nothing for their own children.

Yes, I think for the time being she will likely work a couple of waitressing jobs until she sorts out where to go. Likewise she doesn’t really want to do it FT, but I can’t do a second job due to the demands of the first one (there’s an expectation to go above at beyond, at home, including unsociable hours)

Again, I haven’t said I don’t want her working full time. She already works 16 hours a week whist in full time school so she has a work ethic.
I just don’t want her on UC and forced into things she has no choice over

Yeah it’s a joke.
She shouldn’t be needing to work the hours she does through her A levels to cover what I can’t because he won’t help.

At 18 he’s off the hook isn’t he? I lose money, but I am still mum and I will still make sure she is ok, while he gets to rub his hands together over the fact he officially doesn’t need to pay for one of them