Money worries as child turns 18

[pootlepiglet]

So, to begin, I work full time and I earn above minimum wage and I have a house with a small mortgage.

I had a DV marriage, I divorced 5 years ago and I am a single parent to three children (12/15/17)

Ex does not pay child maintenance, it’s with the CMS and has been for years, he earns well but does it in a variety of cash and dividends paid to shareholders in his company. It’s complicated and this has been investigated via the forensic team through CMS, but they can’t prove it.
I am confident he will never be made to pay a penny and nor will he voluntarily (nor will he buy anything they need) and he doesn’t see any of them much, so it’s pretty much all on me.

There is no chance to take a second job, up hours, or get a job paying considerably more. We are rural (ish) as the houses were cheaper, and I can’t afford to move anywhere else, as this is already cheap. I have done everything I can to prepare us financially for the kids getting older. I’m on my knees already with my work and the responsibilities (eldest doesn’t drive yet either and there is one bus an hour so I’m also the taxi)

I get UC which is an ok amount and CB.

I am panicking about my child turning 18 and leaving school (doing A levels) as I have worked it out that with the loss of UC/CB and the 25% council tax discount I am going to be losing a fair amount of money.

Yes my child will get a job and pay into the house, but I’ve no idea what they are likely to be able to earn, or even how quickly they’ll get a job. Originally she wanted an Apprenticeship, and has applied for a few, but they’ve gone nowhere.
She currently works P/T so is likely going to end up temporarily waitressing and bar working as many hours as she can get until she works out next steps, either way, we aren’t talking above minimum wage so I can’t ask her to pay a great deal.

We aren’t particularly well off now as three children without any CMS has been a struggle, but we’ve managed. Now I’m going to take this hit financially and I’m quite worried.

I don’t really know how I’m going to do it going forward really.
I just wanted to stress about this out loud.

are there any NVQ < level3 courses that could be suitable @pootlepiglet?

To claim benefits for an 18-year-old in the UK without losing your payments, they must remain in approved education or training, like A-Levels, T-Levels, NVQs up to Level 3, or unpaid traineeships, as a "qualifying young person" for benefits like Child Benefit and Universal Credit. For Universal Credit, they're usually covered until the September after their 19th birthday, while Child Benefit can extend to the 20th birthday if still in full-time non-advanced education, requiring you to report this to HMRC to continue payments.

That would still give her about £1500/month take home if she works full time. I don’t know how much you’d be losing, but she could afford a reasonable amount of rent out of that.

Just to say the CSA rules for liability follow the CHB rules. It’s not an end at 18 if in non advanced education but he pays nothing right now so not really relevant.

Have you got a silver service type hotel locally? That's what we all did, 2 12 hour shifts over the weekend.

How much of a reduction will there actually be in the amount that you receive? Ideally you would need her to be able to pay housekeeping to meet that shortfall or thereabouts so is that £100 a month, £300 a month, £500 a month, what kind of figure are you expecting? Full time on minimum wage she would be earning around £1500 a month so unless you would need more than £500 it feels like it should be manageable for her.

Are there any opportunities for call centre/customer service type roles that she could apply for?

I don’t know. It’s tricky because she’s flip flopped from one idea to another, so she’s need to pick a course and stay with it.

She says she had enough of school, which I get, but likewise I’d like her to have some autonomy over her life, which is why I’m not encouraging her claiming UC, because it’s very hard to get off of it, and you do lose an element of control over your choices.

I hate claiming it, I dream of earning enough to not need it and I want better for her

We have hotels near us, and I have suggested she goes to one of them (she already waitresses) as there are more and longer shifts.
From what I see with the youngsters they work them really hard for a few months then as the season slows so do their shifts, so I’m not sure she could rely on that.

With council tax/UC/CB I will lose around £500-600 I guess, but I would expect her to cover that unless she was doing well, but she will need to pay something in

I understand you not wanting her to be trapped in low paying work and benefits however she doesn’t know what she wants to do so doesn’t have a career path just yet. Many young people do a starter job while they figure out their longer term plan. Yes it’s harder to step back into studying once you’ve been working, but it sounds like she needs time and needs to be earning in the meantime.

Remember she’s in a different position to you - having children to support and a house to run makes it very difficult to change your financial situation, but she’s starting out and has a world of opportunity to train, study, follow a vocational course once she decides what she wants longer term. Where she starts now isn’t necessarily where she ends up.

It’s not the position any of us want for our kids, and their dad is an utter arse not providing for them.

This — I hate to get “when I were a lad” about things but this is what I and loads of people I know did before I worked out what path I wanted to take. I knew I had to contribute to bills and also wanted my own money to pay for clothes, transport, going out, makeup, etc!

I get your concern that she won’t be able to work out what she does want to do if she’s working full time, but once she’s no longer studying, her free time will be hers (instead of permanently feeling the pressure to do homework/revise etc in the evenings). So she (and you) are likely to find she will have the headspace to think things over, research, apply for other things when she’s ready.