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Have you ever felt disappointed in someone you don't even know?

55 replies

Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 09:12

I follow a couple of, I suppose they are influencers, on Instagram. Fun accounts, great women, often championing other women. One in particular is quite vocal on how women can often be overlooked etc.

I've just seen on Instagram that they are on a trip to Dubai - there is around 10 of them there with a travel company and I feel a bit disappointed. This is, of course, completely ridiculous and these people can go wherever they want, but, Dubai?

I'm very fortunate to have been able to visit lots of fantastic places, but Dubai is one of the places that does not sit well with me at all, for a million reasons, and it's made me feel a bit 'I didn't think they would endorse somewhere like that'.

Have you ever felt disappointed in someone that you don't actually know? There are the obvious ones course, who have been in the news over the last decade etc.

Disclaimer: it's obviously none of my business where these women chose to spend their time.

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Roselily123 · 18/01/2026 09:29

Funnily enough yes.
long time ago
on Instagram following someone with a beautiful house and great taste.
She had previously stated how she hated one thing , then a few months later was promoting it in her home.
i unfollowed, but more importantly, reminded myself how False the internet can be.

jamandcustard · 18/01/2026 09:31

Not at all. I follow loads of random strangers on TikTok but it's never occurred to me to assign any morality to their decisions.

Ohpleeeease · 18/01/2026 09:35

I follow a few YouTubers and it’s interesting how they are shaping up over the years. Some are genuinely documenting their life and travels and using You Tube as an income stream to help them continue.
Some are clearly building a business empire. Which is fine of course, but it makes all the “We love you guys! Thank you so much, we appreciate you’” all sound a bit hollow. I’m finding one particular family’s adventures a bit annoying now because it’s clear they are blagging stays in some top resorts and destinations which most of their followers couldn’t hope to afford, in return for free advertising.

Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 09:42

jamandcustard · 18/01/2026 09:31

Not at all. I follow loads of random strangers on TikTok but it's never occurred to me to assign any morality to their decisions.

I get this, I really do, but I suppose I only follow people that have presented themselves to have values that align with mine I guess, because that's what interests me.

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ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 10:47

I always sigh when someone I really rate accepts some kind of gong especially one with Empire in the title.

Such an antiquated and arbitrary system. Some people quietly and thanklessly do charity work for decades and don't get one. Some one else wins a football tournament and they're a dame. Totally worthless and embarrassingly aggrandizing.

HappyNewTaxYear · 18/01/2026 10:52

ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 10:47

I always sigh when someone I really rate accepts some kind of gong especially one with Empire in the title.

Such an antiquated and arbitrary system. Some people quietly and thanklessly do charity work for decades and don't get one. Some one else wins a football tournament and they're a dame. Totally worthless and embarrassingly aggrandizing.

Oh the old knocking footballers business. such an easy and lazy target. Football is important to many, many people. It’s their hobby, their interest, their conversation, their connection with lots of other people. You may not like it yourself but that doesn’t take away from the fact that doing well in a chosen field which is important to a huge number of people will be admired.

jamandcustard · 18/01/2026 10:58

Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 09:42

I get this, I really do, but I suppose I only follow people that have presented themselves to have values that align with mine I guess, because that's what interests me.

I guess I just see social media "influencers" as actors doing a job. They present themselves in a way that gets them a target audience and that makes them money. Morals and values don't really come into it.

ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 10:58

HappyNewTaxYear · 18/01/2026 10:52

Oh the old knocking footballers business. such an easy and lazy target. Football is important to many, many people. It’s their hobby, their interest, their conversation, their connection with lots of other people. You may not like it yourself but that doesn’t take away from the fact that doing well in a chosen field which is important to a huge number of people will be admired.

Football isn't the issue. It's not the bloody football, I could have said archery or stamp collecting. It was just an example.

It's the fact that a title, especially one harking back to empire should be given to anyone. Or that anyone should be admired over the type of person who volunteers day in day out for charity over a period of decades.

HoppityBun · 18/01/2026 11:17

ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 10:58

Football isn't the issue. It's not the bloody football, I could have said archery or stamp collecting. It was just an example.

It's the fact that a title, especially one harking back to empire should be given to anyone. Or that anyone should be admired over the type of person who volunteers day in day out for charity over a period of decades.

Lots of people who work for charities get honours. Sarah Anderson, who founded the Listening Place, was made a Dame 2 days before she died, when KC3 made a private visit to her in hospital

ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 11:19

HoppityBun · 18/01/2026 11:17

Lots of people who work for charities get honours. Sarah Anderson, who founded the Listening Place, was made a Dame 2 days before she died, when KC3 made a private visit to her in hospital

I agree @HoppityBun . But lots don't.

Pinkissmart · 18/01/2026 11:23

Dave Grohl
Gwen Stefani
JD Vance ( watched The Hillbilly Elegy before o knew who he was)

latetothefisting · 18/01/2026 11:25

ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 10:58

Football isn't the issue. It's not the bloody football, I could have said archery or stamp collecting. It was just an example.

It's the fact that a title, especially one harking back to empire should be given to anyone. Or that anyone should be admired over the type of person who volunteers day in day out for charity over a period of decades.

but people who "volunteer day in day out for charity over a period of decades" are very frequently given those awards too. In fact, they (together with people who just get on with doing their jobs very well for their lifetime - usually in things like the NHS, army, civil service etc) make up the vast majority of the honours recipients - they just don't make the headlines.

1200 people were given honours this year - the full list is available if you care so much. Hundreds of people on there honoured for things like 'services to community midwifery/disability sport/charitable services/charitable fundraising,' etc.

If there's someone you think deserves an honour for their charity work then make the effort to nominate them rather than moaning online!

And it's "harking back to empire" because many of the recipients are from commonwealth countries - and presumably are very proud of their awards, and, if they didn't want to receive them because they don't agree with UK influence are fully able to reject them themselves rather than a random on MN advocating on their behalf.

DameOfThrones · 18/01/2026 11:29

Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 09:42

I get this, I really do, but I suppose I only follow people that have presented themselves to have values that align with mine I guess, because that's what interests me.

You're following complete strangers selling an image of themselves that they want others to buy.

That's all.

ChurchWindows · 18/01/2026 11:31

@latetothefisting "If there's someone you think deserves an honour for their charity work then make the effort to nominate them rather than moaning online!"

This is literally a thread set up for people to moan online about people who disappoint us. That's what I did.

I thought it was a light hearted thread where we can state opinions and this is mine.

I don't 'care so much'. I just sigh when I see some actor/pundit/celebrity gardener getting a British Empire medal and being vainglorious enough to take it.

An example is Chris Packham who I really admire on many levels. I thought he was too punk rock to take a gong and it made me sigh when he did. I hope he's happy with it and good luck to him, but it made me sigh.

I don't want to nominate anyone - it's the system I don't like. I don't have to like it.

Ineedanewsofa · 18/01/2026 11:35

I think know who you are referring to @Makemineacosmo and whilst I wouldn’t go as far as being disappointed I did see her pop up on that trip and think it was an odd choice given how vocal she is about women’s rights - it does somewhat undermine her very vocal activism IMO but I also have to ask myself if I would hold a man to the same standard?

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/01/2026 11:36

Anyone famous who accepts an ‘honour’ (OBE, MBE, blah, blah). It’s an outdated system that just should not exist any more imo. (I say famous people, because I do see why individuals who are not famous accept things on behalf of their charities to raise its profile/raise funds, but I would rather it’s wasn’t an ‘empire’ thing).

Disturbia81 · 18/01/2026 11:43

I can’t stand any influencers, it’s all fake.
And in general most humans are hypocrites in some way. It’s best not to put people up on pedestals as they all fall off, including us

CormoranTheFish · 18/01/2026 12:06

Pinkissmart · 18/01/2026 11:23

Dave Grohl
Gwen Stefani
JD Vance ( watched The Hillbilly Elegy before o knew who he was)

OMG I had Grohl on such a pedestal! Totally bought in to his persona. What a fool I was.
He’s a famous, rich and powerful man just like the rest of them, plus a rock star too so OF COURSE he will behave like an absolute shit.

BertieWoostersChaps · 18/01/2026 12:35

Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 09:12

I follow a couple of, I suppose they are influencers, on Instagram. Fun accounts, great women, often championing other women. One in particular is quite vocal on how women can often be overlooked etc.

I've just seen on Instagram that they are on a trip to Dubai - there is around 10 of them there with a travel company and I feel a bit disappointed. This is, of course, completely ridiculous and these people can go wherever they want, but, Dubai?

I'm very fortunate to have been able to visit lots of fantastic places, but Dubai is one of the places that does not sit well with me at all, for a million reasons, and it's made me feel a bit 'I didn't think they would endorse somewhere like that'.

Have you ever felt disappointed in someone that you don't actually know? There are the obvious ones course, who have been in the news over the last decade etc.

Disclaimer: it's obviously none of my business where these women chose to spend their time.

Is this one of those women who say they work as an independent travel agent that is actually MLM?

BillieWiper · 18/01/2026 12:45

I get disappointed in politicians all the time.
Celebrity fuck ups don't disappoint me usually, though I have varying sympathy levels for the plights.

I never really admire anyone famous enough to be shocked they might exhibit human failings.

People like Russell Brand, it's hard to be disappointed in as he always seemed such a cunt to me from the very start.

Mosssy · 18/01/2026 12:51

Yeah this is like the disappointment when a celeb we like turns out to have political views we disagree with or cheated on their spouse or dating someone 20 years younger.. never idolise anyone we're all shit and contradictory.

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 18/01/2026 13:45

Russell Brand. Obviously the sexual assault and rape charges absolutely fucked any love I had for him (I was a big fan, really rated him, thought he was hilarious and thought that he had a lot of potential as an activist. I’d been a huge fan since Big Brothers Big Mouth back in the noughties) but now that he’s gone right wing and is eating steak at Mar-a-Lago my disappointment runs even deeper.

He’s clearly a moral bankrupt, hypercritical piece of shit who hates women, and I can’t believe that I was ever a fan. So disappointing.

Spidey66 · 18/01/2026 13:55

Huw Edwards
jay Blades
Both seemed like national treasures but turned out to be abusers.

Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 14:37

Ineedanewsofa · 18/01/2026 11:35

I think know who you are referring to @Makemineacosmo and whilst I wouldn’t go as far as being disappointed I did see her pop up on that trip and think it was an odd choice given how vocal she is about women’s rights - it does somewhat undermine her very vocal activism IMO but I also have to ask myself if I would hold a man to the same standard?

I think if that man had been very vocal on a particular issue then didn't seem to mind so much when a 'freebie' came along, I would absolutely feel the same way. It just feels very off and I suppose I've lost a little respect for someone who I had felt was pretty genuine.

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Makemineacosmo · 18/01/2026 14:40

It's not that it's idolatry, I think it's just when you see someone and you think 'yep I agree with what they're saying', for the most part, then when something else is revealed it's kind of like 'oh'.

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