Have you ever felt disappointed in someone you don't even know?

[Makemineacosmo]

I follow a couple of, I suppose they are influencers, on Instagram. Fun accounts, great women, often championing other women. One in particular is quite vocal on how women can often be overlooked etc.

I've just seen on Instagram that they are on a trip to Dubai - there is around 10 of them there with a travel company and I feel a bit disappointed. This is, of course, completely ridiculous and these people can go wherever they want, but, Dubai?

I'm very fortunate to have been able to visit lots of fantastic places, but Dubai is one of the places that does not sit well with me at all, for a million reasons, and it's made me feel a bit 'I didn't think they would endorse somewhere like that'.

Have you ever felt disappointed in someone that you don't actually know? There are the obvious ones course, who have been in the news over the last decade etc.

Disclaimer: it's obviously none of my business where these women chose to spend their time.

Yes quite a few famous women (including scientists) who believe people can change sex and all Harry Potter actors who have snubbed JKR for the same reason.

There used to be a poster on here who was really kind and helpful in one section of the boards. Saw a really bitchy reply from her in another section once. Was really surprising.

I was really disappointed when I heard that Kelsey Grammar (Frazier) is a Trump supporter.

And I'm disappointed in all those who are in government in America currently who are doing nothing to stop the madness.

Yeah there's a really good actor in a series i love that has shown his true, misogynistic colours lately. The third series is out this year and at first I was contemplating not watching it.

But then I copped onto myself and realised he's just an actor. I don't actually need to give a shit what he thinks about women. As long as he says the lines that are written for him 🤷‍♀️

Nobody who posts as an influencer on social media is genuine - they're all playing a part in order to reach as many people as possible and to earn as much money as possible.

Yes! Someone that I like who does funny Mum skits on social media was sponsored by McDonalds and she did a really cringe advert. I suppose they have to make their money somehow, but I did unfollow. I get the Dubai thing too

If Timothy Busfield is guilty of what he’s being accused of I will be so very disappointed. Not just for the crime, that would be awful enough. For those of us that watch the West Wing it will be hard to watch.

I think jamandcustard makes a fair point about not "expecting" morality from strangers, but the issue here is that these influencers specifically monetize their morality. They aren’t just posting outfits; they are "championing women" to build trust. When they take a free trip to a place with a documented history of silencing the very women they claim to support, it feels like a breach of contract.
[Image representing a moral compass vs a social media feed]
As Roselily123 noted, the "math isn't mathing" here. Dubai’s tourism board is brilliant at "influencer-washing"—they provide a 5-star bubble that makes it easy for creators to ignore the lack of legal autonomy for women or the treatment of migrant workers. By accepting the trip, these influencers become part of that PR machine.
It’s not "ridiculous" to feel disappointed; it’s actually a sign that you were paying attention to the values they claimed to have. It’s a classic reminder that for many "empowerment influencers," female advocacy is the brand, but luxury travel is the business.

I don't 'care so much'. I just sigh when I see some actor/pundit/celebrity gardener getting a British Empire medal and being vainglorious enough to take it.
An example is Chris Packham who I really admire on many levels. I thought he was too punk rock to take a gong and it made me sigh when he did. I hope he's happy with it and good luck to him, but it made me sigh.

I agree with you, it makes me roll my eyes too. Especially people like David Beckham who are so obviously go after one and moan about it - it’s nauseating and as you say vainglorious.

One of my hero’s is Albert Finney - Salford lad who famously turned it down. Also David Bowie. Makes me love them even more.

I prefer people who quietly get on with things and don’t want/need accolades.

I'm surprised at people surprised at Russell Brand he was always unfunny and creepy.

I love her but I'm still disappointed in Beyoncé for staying with Jay-z after he cheated.

I'm disappointed in David Tennant for his misogyny and will never watch anything he's in again.

What did DT do? Agree re Beyoncé. Hard to see her as a fierce female any more!

It’s an interesting question. I think when I have been disappointed is when I see someone interviewed and they are dull or unpleasant in some way.

The risk with expecting a stranger to share your values is that it can make you look a bit odd. I follow someone on Instagram who heads a computer games company … and has dual US / Israeli citizenship. For ages he had all these people posting horrible comments and Palestinian flags under his posts because he hadn’t commented on the conflict in Gaza. There was no obvious reason why he would - he cared about making shooting a bow and arrow look realistic on screen, he didn’t work for the UN.

Ewan McGregor

I'm surprised that so many of you are surprised and disappointed by all this.

This. Also, it’s a fundamentally stupid non-job. If you actually want to change the world, you’re going to have to inconvenience yourself, not waft about looking winsome on the internet. Study and go into human rights law. Teach literacy in prisons. Litterpick. Do pro bono work. Advise asylum seekers. Volunteer for a soup kitchen. Go into schools and educate children about climate change. None of this is glamorous, well-paid or produces nice Instagrammable content.

The person who runs the Energy Support/Advice UK Facebook group. She seemed so genuine and altruistic, but it turned out that she had spent most of the donations on herself.

How did you guess what their values were though? Did they actually say stuff? Or were you just guessing?

being an influencer is a job.

The list of people who turned them down is so interesting. Lowry, French and Saunders, Alan Bennett, Hattie Jacques, Ken Loach, Paul Weller, Peter Capaldi.....loads of them.

Same he was always creepy.

Aging myself here there was a q and a with him on Mumsnet once, the trend at the time was to say PARKLIFE! like the blur song at him cos his ramblings sounded like the song and so many people got mad about it cos he was such a "lovely guy" there were bannings and everything lest we upset him. Ugh it was nauseating.

He was a twat then and is a bigger one now.

Exactly - I'm really surprised (and a bit worried!) that so many people think these people are in any way genuine. That's not say that they're all awful or anything, but they're just people doing a job and trying to make money - that's it.

No guessing. 🤣 As I said in my OP, this woman is pretty vocal about women and girls rights. She's also a presenter, so not 'just' an influencer. I'm not foolish enough, and I'm too long in the tooth, to think that everything these people say is gospel.

I've had this, particularly with Neil Gaiman when he was accused (in what seemed like legitimate accusations) of abuse towards women. I just thought he was better than that, you know? But as others have said, you really only get to see the side of someone they chose to portray...

Yes. There’s a woman called Michelle the Bartender on social media. I used to really like her content but she kept posting bitchy skits shaming customers for not tipping enough. I was embarrassed for her if anything so I just unfollowed her. A tip shouldn’t be expected/demanded 🙄

I agree with you