I hate being female, hate having a hormonal cycle and I hate perimenopause even more.

[MonsterMunchforbreakfast]

41 years of periods and a horrible cycle and still it carries on with no end in sight.

Heavy from the time they started at 12 and I have spent most of my adult life with anaemia. I have also spent most of those 41 years living my life around my heavy periods but being told it's all 'normal' for some women to experience. I have been a gynae patient at the same hospital since my mid 20's (now 53) and have trialled endless medications which all made me feel worse, been through many uncomfortable internal procedures, experienced years of infertility and for the last 8 years I have been in perimenopause which has made everything a million times worse.

Three years ago my ferritin levels fell to below 2 (well, I actually found out they'd been that low for 5 years!) and I had to have infusions. I then opted for the uterine ablation thinking the heavy bleeding was my main problem and it would sort all of my problems. Turns out it didn't help at all really. Yes it is lovely not to be flooding every month but I simply swapped heavy bleeding for pain, I didn't factor in that my body would still be in a cycle so every 'period' my uterus tries to push out the blood which isn't there causing horrible cramping and making my IBS even worse (since found many FB support groups with women in the same position). My gynae wasn't interested and simply suggested pain relief, I insisted on a MRI scan which discovered endomtriosis and adenomyosis, I was 50 when I found this out. Seems the adenomyosis was always there mildy (have found it mentioned in previous scans but my gynae failed to mention this). The ablation has now caused the condition to become diffuse throughout the walls of my uterus which is making the pain worse. I am now on a waiting list for a hysterectomy which I really really do not want (I am not mentally well enough for major surgery right now).

And perimeonpause appears to be the unwanted gift which keeps on giving. I have been experiencing symptoms since the age of 45 and things just get worse and worse. The luteral stage of my cycle is especially awful, I am so anxious, so panicky, moody, depressed, my whole body seems on edge, achy, in pain, bad guts, bad indigestion, everything I eat makes me feel awful and I just don't feel right. I do not feel like myself at all. I hate having a cycle and I only feel well for a few days at the end of my 'period'. I still track my cycle and will have a period around day 25-32, usually day 28. I will bleed a teeny bit, hardly anything but I know that means I am still in a normal cycle and I also show signs of ovulation. When will it ever end? I am 53 in March ffs, can I not get a break?

I trialled HRT but that made me feel worse and was concerned the hormones were feeding the endo. My endo gynae has no interest in HRT so couldn't advise me. He suggested Zoledex or Ryeqo. I have tried both and they gave me awful side effects including a worsening of my aura migraines which are hormonally induced (had them throughout pregnancy and every period). I am just getting by with pain relief during my period and putting up with all other symptoms (which is having a hugely detrimental effect on my mental health right now). Tried antidepressants but can not find one which doesn't worsen my gut issues.

I don't know who else to see for help. My GP says she doesn't know what to suggest due to my more complex gynae issues and being under the gynae department. I don't have money to go see anyone privately and even if I did I am not sure who to see - another gyane/a menopause specialist or private GP?

Has anyone else been in a similar position? What can I do to feel more human? Right now I am really not enjoying being female and have had an absolute gutload of gynae issues and am just living in hope that my cycle will stop within the next year or so, surely this can't continue. Isn't the average age for menopause 51? Why is my body not average?

Nothing sensible to contribute. Just wanted to give you an UnMN hug. It’s shit.

Will now read the post properly.

You have my sympathy. Women get the dirty end of the stick every time. If I gcould go back and choose I would have been born male. Instead I chose to be child free. Before there were medications designed to stop periods I took the contraceptive pill end to end for years. When I stopped so had my periods and my reproductive clock. I never had a menopause.

Wow that sounds shitty, sorry
Have you tried any supplements? I have a few of your symptoms, but not all and not as bad. I suspect I have endo, but it didn't start giving me symptoms until a few years ago, and I decided to wait and see if menopause got rid of it. I'm 54 and haven't had a period since August, and my symptoms have reduced a lot since then. I also have gut issues due to food intolerances (possibly coeliac).

Anyway... I also tend to be anaemic. I take a Women's 50+ multivitamin with minerals including iron, an Ashwagandha supplement which pretty much cured my anxiety and a probiotic for gut stuff. I hope you find some solutions!

OP, oh the bright side - you will LOVE menopause. Like you I hated the hormonal cycle. From age 12 to age 55 I had really painful very heavy periods that lasted at least 7 days. 25% of my life was spent in crippling pain, with PMT before it and iron deficiency all the time.

Then menopause happened. No depression, no mood swings, less exhaustion, more energy, more clarity of thought. Along with the usual benefits of menopause: stopping caring what others think of you, deciding to focus on things you want to do and doing them.

Post meno is a lovely time of life for women who had real challenges with the hormonal cycle. I never went on HRT - the idea of intentionally bringing back periods was so abhorrent to me.

So sorry. It sounds hell.

Just thought id mention that probiotics can be helpful in some cases of ibs.

Also, have you tried evening primrose oil? It could possibly help.

Roll on menopause!

I wish I had taken this path and taken something to have stopped my periods full stop from very early on, I just wish I didn't react so badly to them all though.

I would never willingly choose to be female ever again!

Thank you. I really do need to start looking into supplements. I have tried so many prescription medications so maybe I need to start looking towards alternatives instead.

Oh, you give me hope. Unlike many women I long for menopause and it can not come sooner for me. I truly hope that it gives me some respite from the crap I have had to put up with from my female hormones, they have not served me well.

That sounds terrible. I had similar and had the implant for years which helped a lot...until it didn't as perimenopause got it's claws into me. I'm now a few years post meno and starting to feel human again. Exercise helped throughout.

I have tried probiotics in the past and do need to look into those again.

My mum took EPO for many years, I need to look into that too, thanks.

Definitely roll on menopause.

I do walk a fair bit and used to exercise loads in the past but I do need to up my exercise these days. It's such a vicious cycle though because I feel so utterly knackered most days that an hour walking the dog takes it out of me.

My friend has been weight training for the last year and says it's changed her life, she looks fantastic too. I just wish I wasn't so exhausted and achy all the time.

Having my womb out in my late 30s was the best thing I’ve ever done. I wish every woman was offered it after being done with kids.

Oh I know @MonsterMunchforbreakfastits a vicious cycle. I rationalize it by saying "I'm going to be in pain and tired anyway..." Actually yoga or pilates are quite restorative. In peri swimming and sauna did it for me, now it doesn't strangely.

That's give me hope. I'm due to have a hysterectomy this year and I am absolutely petrified, so much so that in considering asking to be removed off the waiting list.

I need to find a local private swimming pool, I do enjoy swimming just not in the public ones.

Could you pay for a hysterectomy?

I swim, a lot. It did help me through and tbh the pools are mainly run by private companies now and even those and ones still run by the council are often a lot cleaner and better managed than the ones in hotels or gyms. I think swimming is the one sport where you come out more energised when you get out than when you get in.
I had periods from age 13 to age 60. Extremely painful, heavy and also endometriosis. The endometriosis did not go completely with menopause, I still had it corresponding with my previous cycle, which was regular to the end.
For me the menopause has been absolutely wonderful. I have 365 days of the year where I have bags of energy and no mood swings (of course we all have mood changes but they are nothing like hormonal ones).
The only negative for me has been other people ( usually women) telling me I have let myself go. I am not sure if that is because I did look very young before or if I look old now 😂. I work hard to keep my figure lithe but I won’t dye my hair or have aesthetic treatment. I feel that is their issue not mine, whilst they are commenting on me I am not looking in the mirror; I am in the sea doing water sports, swimming at the pool, boxing, weight training, travelling, looking after a parent, babysitting, reading, in the pub, writing books, at a gig etc etc trust me life is fantastic!

I really feel for you OP. I’ve also suffered with heavy, painful periods for a lot of my life. I was advised to have an ablation by my gynaecologist. Like you, the bleeding practically stopped but the pain became much worse. Fast forward a year and my gynaecologist found endometrial cysts. She removed these and that’s when she diagnosed me with endometriosis. Her advice was to try managing the pain or have a hysterectomy. At this point I started to do my own research and realised what a terrible job she’d done. It is well known that adenomyosis (which I suspected I had) is made more painful by ablation. I joined a facebook group called Nancy’s Nook and from here found UK based surgeons skilled in diagnosing endometriosis and adenomyosis and surgical management using excision, never ablation. I saw one of the specialists from the list and I was diagnosed with adenomyosis and stage 4 endometriosis which was in bowel. Last April, I underwent a full hysterectomy (due to the adenomyosis) removal of my ovaries and a bowel resection (I had a specialist colorectal surgeon for this). It was a long surgery and long recovery but I can honestly say it was worth it as I’m now pain free. I was only 43 when I had the surgery but even going through early menopause was worth it. I was lucky enough to have insurance to cover the cost of going privately but there are surgeons on the list you can ask to be referred to through the NHs. If you live anywhere near Surrey, look up CIMIG. I really would advise you to do your research throughly and refuse to be fobbed off. I’m so sorry you’ve been medically gaslit and had your symptoms ignored for so long.

I could have written this myself. I also have adenomyosis and very heavy flooding. I have iron infusions and have tried pills, implants, the coil etc. I was offered an ablation but after researching it i found it can cause alot more pain and isnt actually recommended for adenomyosis. I now take TXA every month and what a difference it has made. I still have a regular period but its not heavy and no sudden flooding or passing clots. I wish i had been perscribed them years ago. I do have to take 6 a day for them to work but its made a huge difference

Why are you petrified? Don’t take yourself off the list! Honestly I can’t explain how good and freeing it is not having a uterus, there have been zero negatives

Sympathy. It’s shit. If men had to deal with this nonsense, money would have been thrown at the problem years ago and a sensible modern solution for dealing with periods and childbirth would surely exist by now.

OP horrific and I could write the same (nearly) story. 38 and such have flooding and ferritin at 10. GP was useless and kept saying it was in the normal range! I went private and they absoloutely not. Various tests. Adenomyosis confirmed. Options: coil first to stem bleeding and infusion.

Failing that ablation OR partial hysterectomy.

I went down the coil and infusion road. Ferreting now 328 and that helped the other symptoms (itching, hair loss and tiredness massively). However random bleeding continued for a year, just not flooding. Could have 2/3 ‘periods’ a month. Eventually settled for 6 months. All was good. Then pain and random bleeding. They confirmed I then had developed endomytermosis too. This is on top of the PCOS I’ve had since I was 16, I also had assisted fertility so have 1 son.

I read up on hysterectomy and HRT Vs ablation and would go down Hysterectomy route if pushed. It’s all settled for now.

watching with interest to see others advice! My gynae was male and he was excellent!! I asked him why he went into that profession. He said his mother suffered horrifically with her own female health and he doesn’t believe women’s health is on an equal footing and wants to contribute to changing that. What a great reason to ‘do’ a specific profession.

My advice is to go for a hysterectomy.
They do them keyhole now or vaginally and the recovery time is very fast.
Friend of mine was in hospital for 1 day only (she had endometrial cancer.)

Once that is done you can then decide if HRT might work depending on how bad your endo is.

If you can afford it, see someone privately and pay for the surgery even if that means using a credit card. Then you can choose your surgeon, choose the hospital and be in control of it all.

Just to add I had full abdominal surgery but it was fine and feeling back to myself after a few weeks.

Sadly not.